I’m Special

……that’s the joke around here now. We met early this morning at Dr. L’s office……Mr. LBB, me, and my in-laws.

I already knew that it wasn’t going to be all good news. I could already feel something growing in my pelvis area. That can never be good. Dr. L reviewed the scans yesterday and consulted with three different radiologists and two additional oncologists. He even called Dr. R at Loma Linda last night to discuss the results and get his opinion. That made me feel really good that so many people had their chance to opine (nice use of “opine,” right?!).

Here’s what the scan showed:
1. The tumors in my lungs have basically stayed the same…..but they aren’t worried about them so much. They could be scar tissue at this point and not cancerous anymore.
2. The lesion on my liver has neither grown nor shrunk……so they aren’t worried about that so much anymore.
3. The tumor in my lower pelvis area that had grown back since my hysterectomy (and removal of the huge tumor) has been reduced in size just a little…..but they expected it to be gone based on the amount of chemotherapy I’ve had so far.
4. There is a new 6.8 cm tumor higher in my pelvis that has obviously grown since my last scan in December. So that is what has been causing my pelvic pain.

Me: But nothing’s growing into my bladder or colon right?
Dr. L: No…nothing is near there.
Me: Phew.



 

Of course we got the facts:
1. My cancer is resistant to the current chemotherapy EMA-CO. They call that “chemorefractory”…..cells that don’t care that toxic chemicals have been pumped repeatedly at them.
2. Resistance is very rare.

Me: Seriously? I fall in to the “rare” and “we never see this” category? Are you going to do a case study on me?

****

So right now the consensus is to move to an even MORE aggressive chemotherapy called EMA-PA. I get new drugs on my menu of treats: cis-platinum and adriamycin. And I won’t even get my week off….I’ll start this Thursday.

My awesome mother-in-law drove the scans to Loma Linda this morning for Dr. R and his radiologist to review.  She refused to hand them over to anyone but Dr. R’s nurse. She’s a force to be reckoned with.

I noticed that the scan results said “there is an abundant of matter seen throughout the colon, in keeping with constipation.” Well, thanks for noticing that YES I AM EXTREMELY constipated.

Other than that I am feeling great today. The Vincristine is messing with my nerves in my face again though….and anything I eat or drink burns going down. I think I need a milkshake…..like from McDonalds.

I just designed a new limited dress for Gicela to work on this morning…..Valentines dresses are all finished and being shipped. The girls are working hard on getting the spring line ready to launch in February. No rest for the weary around here! But that’s a joke….no one’s weary, or teary or anything but positive.

Dr. L is very hopeful….and I told him I’m MORE than hopeful. I know everything will work out exactly how it’s supposed to! He apologizes that my chemo days will be ALL day…..I tell him I like hanging out there. Nurse N was working on my schedule today gave me a prolonged hug….seriously like a minute long. It’s the only time I thought I might cry……I was so touched at how compassionate and sweet she was. Who can complain about chemotherapy when you get to hang out with these people!

Now for a hugely important decision…..what should I eat for lunch…..

 

Comments

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Comments

  1. 1
    Morgan says:

    Spinach Salad and Doughnuts. Also I’m very glad it wasn’t by your bladder or colon! I wasn’t looking forward to seeing colostomy bag pics on your blog. hehe! ;)

  2. 4
    Jenny says:

    You are amazing. Really. My whole family is praying for you and I profiled you on my blog today so more prayers coming from snowy Buffalo I truly believe in the power of prayer. God bless you, you amazing lady!

  3. 5
    Jessica says:

    Your positive attitude is amazing. So inspiring and a sundae should work for lunch.

  4. 6
    Cheryl says:

    I prayed for you to be encouraged today and that you’d run into someone who just made your day (like you do for so many of us)! You so need to be one of those “girls who poop at work”!

    Thinking about you and praying for you daily.

  5. 7
    Amber L says:

    GIRL! I am telling you again! MIRALAX! Have you tried it yet? My husband refuse to. But my children have to have it daily or are in serious pain. Me on the other hand I have the other problem! hee hee! TMI….

    I can’t believe you have another tumor but you are so good and knew already. Hoping this next Chemo kicks it butt!!!

    Can’t wait for spring and a new limited edition!

    I am so happy that you have so much support. :)

  6. 8
    Christie says:

    My heart goes out to you. Damn you really are special! xx

  7. 9
    Elizabeth says:

    My MIL has been barreling stage 4 lung for over a year. They gave her a prognosis of”a couple good months”. She’s been doing pretty good. Her scans she just got back yesterday shows “stability”. Keeping all appendages crossed for your recovery!

  8. 10
    Sarah Hammond says:

    If attitude killed cancer… You’d be like the first person immune to cancer ever! :)

  9. 12
    charlotte says:

    loving the good news keep up the good work praying praying and praying for you :o )

  10. 13
    Jessica B. says:

    I love reading you blog. Your spirit and positive attitude are uplifting. Thank you for sharing the good and the bad with us while keeping it all in perspective. You Rock and you will beat this!

  11. 14
    kara s. says:

    thoughts and prayers to you ash.

  12. 15
    Melanie G says:

    i love your positive attitude. you really are an inspiration. sending good thoughts your way

  13. 16
    ricki says:

    Ashley,
    I am a friend of your sisters in Charlotte. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers. You inspire so many~Frostys from Wendy’s are pretty awesome too! Hang in there!!

  14. 17
    Laura says:

    Seriously, you really are special with your wonderful positive attitude. Lots of luck and hugs for the next stage of chemo.

  15. 18
    Leigh Anne says:

    Stupid Cancer! I was bummed to read that there was another tumor, but know you are gonna fight it head on! Love the upbeat post – I’ll keep prayin and Choosing Joy! Hugs from Texas!

  16. 19
    gina says:

    May God continue to give you strength :-)

  17. 20
    Martha Galvis says:

    Special yes!

  18. 21
    Nicole says:

    You are so strong! I pray for you everyday! I can’t wait for the Choose Joy necklace to come out! I love it:) Much love and go eat a Donut for lunch!

  19. 22
    Crafty Mom says:

    BOO! for bad news and YAY that there’s still more medication options and more powerful drugs to help you beat this!

  20. 23
    June says:

    Youe positive attitude is so inspiring! I have been praying for you and will continue to do so. My thoughts are with you and your wonderful family.

  21. 24
    Rachelle says:

    I don’t know you , but found your blog a month or so ago. You are such a strong, positive woman and you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. I think you should treat yourself to something extra yummy today and donuts for desert!

  22. 25
    Jenny says:

    You are such a huge inspiration to me and obviously to many, many others! Hugs and happy thoughts and prayers are being sent your way. And hellllooooo…..you should have donuts for lunch!!! And for dinner too!

  23. 26
    Michele Hodson says:

    Your attitude is ridiculously fantastic. I started reading your blog when a coworker suggested I look at it as I started trying learn to sew. The tutorials and suggestions are all great but I read it now for updates on your progress and a healthy dose of optimism. Your spirit is contagious! Have a great day!

  24. 27
    Erin says:

    Ashley,
    My family and I pray for you every night. I show pictures of you and Boo to my daughter and we talk about how cute she is and how you are sick. We all hope you get better and know you are going to kick this cancer to the curb soon. I think of you all day long and have resolved to choose joy every day.
    Thank you for being such a bright light!
    Erin

  25. 28
    Michelle says:

    Thinking and rooting for you, Ashley!

  26. 29
    laura~eye candy event details says:

    boooo for another tumor BUT relieved that it’s not anywhere near your bladder – YEAH for that! YOU got this girl, you choosing JOY every day is what you need to do & you’re doing it. Like I always say God will take care of this & you know that! Prayers today & every day for you my friend! Have a nice relaxing weekend! xoxo

  27. 30
    Meredith M. says:

    First of all, I vote yes for the Milkshake! I am always praying for you and I do not like to hear that the pelvic tumors aren’t cooperating! I will be talking to God about this and I know He hears me! I am continuing to send you lots of love and good vibes your way!!!

  28. 31

    Man, that stupid cancer just can’t back down can it??? How annoying. I am so grateful that you have SUCH AMAZING doctors and nurses and your mother??? I would looove to meet her someday. She sounds amazing.

    LOL about the scan saying that you have excessive poooooooh. hahaha I remember my husband telling me about a friend of his who has having serious stomach cramps so he went to the dr, had some xrays done, and the dr goes, “you’re full of sh*%” HAHAHA! From a doctor! he said that straight up. But it was true for him, sometimes you are just backed up! Post baby and post miscarriage surgery were the WORST times in my life in that department. I remember just crying on the toilet saying I couldn’t do it. hahaha oh my.

    Hang in there Ash. Thanks for the frequent updates. Isn’t the power of prayer in numbers amazing?? You have quite the support system.

  29. 32
    Robin Culotta says:

    Hey Ashley! You are such an amazing woman and staying so positive! I am a firm believer in the word of God. When I was going through some health issues I would say Jerermiah 30:17 multiple times a day. I do not have anyyyy health issues now :) You are in God’s hands and he can surely throw you a miracle.

    Jeremiah 30:17 For I will restore health to you And heal you of your wounds,’
    says the LORD

    TODAY’S SCRIPTURE
    “Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom He has delivered from the hand of the adversary”
    (Psalm 107:2, AMP)

    TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
    Notice that today’s scripture doesn’t say, “Let the redeemed of the Lord think so.” Or, “Let the redeemed believe so.” Of course, it’s important to think right and believe right, but something supernatural happens when we open our mouths and declare a thing. You don’t even have to say it to anyone else, you can just say it to yourself — driving to work or in the shower — you can say, “The economy may be low, but I am blessed. I am prosperous. I will lend and not borrow.” “I may have had some setbacks, but I know those setbacks are a setup for a comeback! This is still going to be my best year so far. The favor of God is turning things around.” You are prophesying your future.

    Remember, when you say what the Lord has done for you, when you declare that you are redeemed, you are opening the door for God to move on your behalf. The scripture tells us that He watches over His Word to perform it. When you declare His Word, when you speak His promises, He is faithful to fulfill them and lead you into victory all the days of your life!

    A PRAYER FOR TODAY
    Father in heaven, thank You for delivering me and setting me free. I will declare Your goodness. I will declare Your promises. I will declare Your favor so that I can live the good life You have prepared for me in Jesus’ name. Amen.
    — Joel & Victoria Osteen

  30. 34
    Laurie says:

    You are a true inspiration! Your courage and strength amaze me. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, and my family is praying for you and your family.

  31. 35
    Kiersta says:

    Doughnuts the obvious choice for lunch :)

  32. 36
    Gloria says:

    Bill O’Reilly would be impressed with your use of opine. :D I’m doing the Daniel study by Beth Moore (could I drop more names??) and I’m reminded that when faced with a fiery trial we can be delivered from it, delivered through it, or delivered by it. I see that God is delivering you through this and you don’t smell like smoke. Continued prayers for you and your family. Keep giving Him the glory!

  33. 38
    Shelley C. says:

    Please hang in there, Ashley. We all care so much about you and your family. Many prayers and hugs from Texas! Hope you feel all the love today (and everyday).

  34. 39
    Ashley says:

    I love your upbeat and positive attitude! I read your blog everyday and I’m not exactly sure when or how I stumbled upon it, but it’s been several months now. My mom had stage 3 non-hodgkins lymphoma several years ago and she has been in remission for 3 years now. She always tried her best to stay positive and I think that truly helps your body heal. I read a quote the other day that said, “I have cancer, but cancer doesn’t have me.” I think that’s so fitting for you! Keep up the positive attitude…I know you are inspiring so many people out there fighting the same battle as you. It’s also great to hear you have such a strong support system around you =)
    *I know this isn’t healthy at all, but I sometimes when I’m having a major sugar craving, I’ll heat up a donut for about 10 seconds and then stir it in with vanilla bean ice cream. YUM!

  35. 40
    Marshall says:

    “I told him I’m MORE than hopeful. I know everything will work out exactly how it’s supposed to!”

    So, very, true. I’m still praying for you.

  36. 41
    Jackie says:

    I have thought about you all day and knowing the difference in time have been anxiously waiting to “hear” your news. So sorry there is another tumor….but you have a great team fighting with you!!!! I saw where someone else had mentioned Miralax…..my husband uses that…..try it…it works!! Positive thoughts and prayers headed your way….everyday!!

  37. 42
    amy says:

    You are seriously the bravest and most positive person i’ve come across in years.

    Since you mentioned food… I know you live in the Palm Springs area. I was there once, a few years ago and I ate at a great deli called Sherman’s! They have tons of “comfort” food items.

    Sending good thoughts your way!

  38. 43
    Heather says:

    Ashley, my sons cancer was resistant to agressive chemo too, and they tried a drug (non chemo) called gleevec, throw it out to your FIL to see if there is one out there like that it got my son into the best remission so he could have a 2nd bone marrow transplant…I am sure you are getting all sorts of advice I always just like to make mention because it saved him :)

  39. 44
    Kitty Schaefer says:

    You have had a long day so today eat what you want. I know you are one of the most positive people and so full of joy, I will keep you in my prayers daily. Soon this blog will be telling us you kicked cancers behind. :)

  40. 45
    Dianne says:

    Your positive attitude and love of life is infectious!! I think everybody reading your blog would love to give you a big hug!! Praying everyday for your health!!

  41. 46
    Kristen W. says:

    The grace and positivity that you have never ceases to amaze me. You are incredible person. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers as you kick this cancer’s A**!

  42. 47
    Kat says:

    :(

  43. 48
    Carrie says:

    Mmmmmm, McDonald’s milkshake. You’re a girl after my own heart….as SPECIAL girl at that! Thanks for keeping us, your stalkers, updated on everything. We’re all cheering you, and your fighter cells, on.

  44. 49
    Candace says:

    You are so inspiring. Your blog brings me to tears, it’s a good thing tho. You continue to inspire through this fight & it is so wonderful to read. My Bible Study group has you on our prayer list <3 one of our topics last night was that Joy is our birthright :D , happiness is dependent on your situation/surroundings but Joy comes from the Lord. You can't fake JOY, it oozes out my computer when I'm on your blog. Love and prayers to you Ashley may you be healed by grace and through faith.

  45. 50
    Bonnie says:

    Praying for you and your family! I love your blog and every morning I think ‘Choose Joy’ Today! Keep fighting girl!! You are going to beat this and be such a testimony!!

  46. 51
    Suzanne says:

    Thank you for sharing your journey and touching my life- I always have “choose joy” in my mind, thanks to you!

  47. 52
    Jennifer Goldberg says:

    Thank you for the update, still thinking about you everyday.

  48. 53
    Emily says:

    I know everyone keeps saying it but just ditto ditto ditto to everything already posted by others! You are an INSPIRATION and amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your story and reminding us to all Choose Joy! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please give your daughter an extra hug from another little 4 year old girl from the Woodlands, TX.

  49. 54
    Carolyn says:

    Ashley, I went to the chiropractor and had an x-ray. I asked what a dark spot at the bottom of the scan was. He said, “An excessive amount of fecal matter in your colon. Are you constipated.”
    Why yes. Yes I was.
    You keep being positive, girl, and we’ll keep praying for you. We’ll keep praying for you even if you get negative, for that matter.
    :)

  50. 55
    Jessica Reurich says:

    I know we are just friends in this crazy cyberworld, but you have been and will continue to be in our prayers (as is your family) your strength in such inspiration and honestly makes me so thankful and appreciative to God above for my family and health. Keep strong and know you are Loved!
    In Him
    Jess

  51. 56
    Jackie says:

    You are so fun!!! Great attitude there. Long may it last. X from Sydney, Australia.

  52. 57
    Dalis says:

    lunch? hmmm.. how about that mcDonald’s milkshake. If I lived closer I would bring you one of each flavor, so just you can pick… or drink them all… your choice.

    – dalis

  53. 58
    Erin says:

    You. Are. AMAZING!!!

  54. 59
    Tara Ondrick says:

    You have such a way of making me cry and laugh at the same time. I have no doubt you will use those all day chemo marathons on some awesome creations! I love reading your blog posts, except when the info isn’t ideal. You are such a genuine soul and I love that. You are a true inspiration! I will continue to pray for you and your family.

  55. 60
    renia lott says:

    Have you looked into the National Institute of Health’s Clinial Trials? I tried to leave a link but it won’t let me. Take care and keep thinking positive thoughts. My prayers are with you and your family.

  56. 61
    Karen says:

    Ashley, sorry to hear about the new tumor and the need for increased chemo, but I love your spirit, I am praying for you daily, I know you can beat this!

  57. 62
    ada says:

    youre handling this so well, i admire you for your strenght. stay positive, i am one who belives positive and fiath count for a lot! praying for you and your family!

  58. 63
    Erin says:

    I started following your blog when I saw a dress you made that I thought was adorable. It’s been probably close to a year now? I love reading your posts on FB, and I always finish with a yearning to be more positive in my life. I was exceptionally touched by the posts about your father and choosing joy. I have since tried to remind myself of that every time I find myself in a situation that leads me down a negative road (mentally). I am really rooting for you and your recovery. My step father just passed away from metastatic prostate cancer 10 weeks ago and every time I read your updates I am so touched and comforted to see you fighting strong and showing gratitude for your life despite the circumstances. You are a true inspiration!

  59. 64
    mel mccarthy says:

    Thank You so much for sharing your journey & your knowledge! Hugs, mel

  60. 65
    Amber says:

    Ashley,
    I am so amazed by your atitude. I’m not sure that I could say I would be in the same frame of mind if I was in your shoes. Remember that God has a plan for you in all of this! You have touched me so much these past months sharing so intimately what you are going through, the good, the bad and the sometimes not so pretty. Notice, I didn’t say ugly, because you are not that in any way. You are in my prayers.

    P.S. I think some doughnuts could pass off as a lunch, if you ate enough ;)

  61. 66
    Inez says:

    Ashley,
    Adriamycin is a powerful chemo – they don’t call it “red devil” for nothing. You may have to have a heart test to determine if you can take it – I did. Praying for good results!

  62. 67
    Lindsay says:

    I love your strength and your outlook, yet I find myself tearing up over your strength, too. I hope you leave some room to cry on a shoulder or two – nobody would think less of you for it. Promise.

    Prayers continue for you and your sweet family.

  63. 68
    Annie Farrar says:

    Praying hard for you girl! I hadn’t been to the blog in a while and yesterday I sat and read 10 pages till I got caught up. Now, I’m clicking on every day! Your attitude and zest for life is absolutely inspiring! I’m glad Boo can see that in you! That’s a wonderful example for her! Let’s beat this momma!

  64. 69
    Tracy says:

    I am praying for you. I hope that I am not overstepping my opinion grounds, but have you researched the Gerson therapy? You may want to check into it, it is a lot of natural healing remedies. The address is below:
    http://gerson.org/GersonTherapy/gersontherapy.htm
    They have books on Amazon.

  65. 70
    Mary Smith says:

    So glad it is not near your colon. I have diverticulous and colon issues are always a fear for me. That whole colostemy bag thing sacres me to death. You are such an inspiration and God has a special place for you in hs heart. I just know it. Sendignlots of love and prayers for you and your family. I know you will beat this thing

  66. 71
    Melissa says:

    You have an amazing attitude and I am so in awe of your strength. Prayers and good vibes for you, lady!

  67. 72
    kimberly bolden says:

    You are special in every way Ashley. Although donuts are wooooonderful, there are studies that show cancer has a sweet tooth. How about chips and guacamole instead? Praying for you from Tallahassee Florida. Xo!

  68. 73
    Angie says:

    Thanks for the update! Hope your lunch had some extra spinach and carrots in addition to a doughnut :D !

  69. 74
    Ashley says:

    What can I say! I have been closely following your blog for a couple years and especially since you diagnosis. I just want to tell you that I think you are amazing! I aspire to have your positivity and your strength. I know that God will be blessing you for that! Know that you are a blessing to others….even those you’ve never met!

  70. 75
    Mary says:

    I’m disappointed with the results of the scan, but if you look at it another way this new scan made them realize they need to change the chemo cocktail.

    Yesterday I realized I left my debit card in Tuscaloosa, AL, where I had gone on Wed for a funeral. I was on the verge of letting that little aggravation ruin my day when I thought of you, and all that you are going through and I thought “nope! today I am choosing joy!” I realized I was being ridiculous because in the grand scheme of things, losing a debit card is nothing. The way you are handling everything is such an inspiration to myself and I know countless others. I pray for you every day!

  71. 76
    Rafi says:

    You’re incredible, Ashley. Lea & I love u and care about you so much. Keep your spirits up (as we KNOW you will) and continue being the wonderful, amazing young lady you are. You’re simple awesome :) We’re always praying for you and for more great, positive news in the future. Enjoy the weekend with Mr. LBB & Boo :)

  72. 77

    I’m blown away by your amazing hope and spirit. You are really a wonderful woman who I know is inspiring many people, including all of those closest to you! Prayers will be said for you at my house today!

  73. 78
    Anne says:

    You NEVER cease to amaze me! I’m sitting here today feeling kind of down… I got over my anxiety and made the dreaded phone call to the divorce attorney. I only dialed and hung up once before I made the actual call! :) Of course, the UPS man, my dog, and my 4 year old made sure to all need my IMMEDIATE attention as soon as I was on the phone too. No stress at all. Anyway.. then I pop on to FB and see that you’ve posted about the results of your scans yesterday. You’re now facing day long super intense chemo because of a “rare” cancer that won’t go away like it’s supposed to and you’re still staying positive. I envy that. I try to emulate that. I love that you are out there posting away about your journey because I feel like I’m supposed to be reading about it. and praying for you. You are special Ashley. To so so so many people. Thank you again for reminding me to choose joy. I think I’m going to try my hand at making a bambo dress from one of your patterns tonight so I can channel more of your spirit. :) Love, hugs, and lots of prayers! – AMB

  74. 79
    Michelle Poole says:

    Bummed by your results, but as always, inspired by your attitude. Here’s praying that the next type of chemotherapy kicks those tumors butts!! (if they had butts)

  75. 80

    you are special indeed!!! love you, love your positivity, love your updates, love your energy, love your fighting spirit, love how you inspire…now…go get that milkshake from mcdonalds…large one.

    hugs, prayers, and aloha!!! :)

  76. 81
    michelle says:

    Will be saying more prayers keep your head up.
    Michelle

  77. 82
    Kinze says:

    i just want to say … i think you are just GREAT … you are on my prayer list!

  78. 83
    Tahnie says:

    Oh Ashley, sweet girl. I had an appointment with a neurologist today and scary stuff ahead. YOU ARE SO BRAVE. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so brave!!!!!

    Love & light to you.

    • 84
      Debbie B says:

      Tahnie,

      Sorry to hear about a trip to the neurologist. I will say prayer for you that God gives you the strength and peace for the days ahead.

      Debbie B

  79. 85
    Terry Carter says:

    Jeremiah 30:17 sounds perfect! Hang in there Ashley! We’re all pulling and praying for you.

  80. 86
    Diana says:

    Your attitude and strength are such an inspiration and a reminder to always Choose Joy (going to be ordering bracelets!) Praying for you!

  81. 87
    elizabeth says:

    Your grace is amazing and my whole family continues to pray…you are even on my 88 year old grandmother’s prayer list, we lovingly refer to her as “Pope Nancy” because she is so intouch with the Lord.

  82. 88
    Betsy West says:

    Just wanted to tell you, you ARE special! :)

  83. 89
    KELLY says:

    yup, you’re not normal. you’re rare. you’re special. you’re hopeful. you’re awesome.

  84. 90
    mary says:

    Damn Cancer! just a set back….keep moving forward …Love your hope & joy! You will beat this!

  85. 91
    Claudia Méndez says:

    Definitivamente ERES ESPECIAL!

    No conozco persona mas optimista y mas bromista que tu, Cancer…………………………………., porque no podia quedarse unicamente como signo zodiacal?????. Creo que nos vendria bien hacernos un traje de mujer maravilla para ayudarte a combatirlo, claro incluyendo tus jugos y tus donas y obvio un helado de McDonalds.
    He pensado que si te gustaria que te enviara algo de Mexico, algun dulce, piñata, algun antojo como chilitos, chamoy…. algo que no consigas por alla?
    Y asi contribuir un poquito a ser FELIZ!

    Hazmelo saber y con mucho amor te lo envio!
    Claudia.

  86. 92
    Beth Morrow says:

    Well, I’ve checked my iPad a gillion times today watching for your results…all-in-all. Pretty good! Now we know which tumor to speak to and by reading a few comments, I can tell you that you can EXPECT for things to change. God’s word says that “if any two of you agree on Earth, as touching anything that they ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.”
    Looks like Robin and I are in agreement, same scripture yesterday, Jeremiah 30:17, and I’m sure that she would agree with the one I’m going to give you today! Jeremiah 32:27, Behold, I AM THE LORD, the God of ALL flesh: is there ANYTHING too hard for me?
    Lift up your head sweet lady, you’re about to see just how SPECIAL you really are!
    Praying the effectual prayers over you and sending God’s Word to heal you!
    Love you much,

    Beth

  87. 93
    Stephanie says:

    One of my first thoughts today was “I hope Ashley is getting good news.” I found myself holding my breathe and checking in often (even though I subscribe and get instant notifications!)
    You have quickly become one of the most inspiring people I ‘know.’ I feel so blessed to have stumbled across your blog (I wish I can remember who linked me to you).

    Thank you a thousand times over.

    (Are you able to take Miralax? I had a mass removed and was in more pain from being constipated than from the giant incision! Miralax finally did the trick.)

    sending love and prayers.

  88. 94
    Crissy says:

    Ashley, I as everyone else have been following your blog since you started. Keep your head up girl. This too shall pass when we choose joy!

  89. 95
    Simone says:

    I join the many other readers of this blog to say that I have spent the past 12hrs checking back in regularly hoping to see some good news on your condition. I’m not religious but I have, over the past few weeks, found myself saying a little prayer to “whomever is listening” that you get well. Your attitude whips me into being a better person. You are a true inspiration! Sending you guys all love and good vibes from Sydney. S x

  90. 96
    Rhonda says:

    You are such an inspiration to everyone you come in contact with…even those that have never seen you in person. You have a beautiful family that loves you unconditionally. I believe that your love for Christ is the main thing that draws people to you.

    I’ve been putting off mentioning this, but it’s been heavy in my heart. I know this will be EXTREMELY difficult to handle, but I encourage you to drastically limit your sugar intake. It weakens your immune system and drastically slows down the healing process. By cutting mine back I was able to get rid of daily migraines and fatigue. I know several other people that have been able to pull through medical problems by eliminating sugar….even a cancer patient that was given three weeks to live.
    Once again, you ARE an UNSPIRATION!!!

  91. 97

    Just wanted to let you know that there are lots of people in IL praying for you! I remember being on the receiving end of that kind of news. When they told me my spin lit up like a Christmas tree I cried. I was never so scared. I don’t know how you hold it together. I strive to be more like you each day! Like I always tell my family, miracles happen everyday!
    I too am totally backed up from chemo this week. I started eating 4 prunes a day and that helped! (I like to do the natural thing) I also add flax seed to everything!

  92. 98
    Shevaun says:

    I want a pill of your incredible attitude! I hopeo this new chemo does the job on the tumors. I’m so glad you got that long hug and it makes me tear up to hear about it. You have a wonderful mother-in-law and father-in-law to go along with your awesome mom. Sounds like lots of positive attitudes in your family!

  93. 99

    So sorry there’s more growth, but I’m glad you can retain your.. um… parts in that area. I totally just typed “Lil Miss Red T-Sh*t..” so much poop talk.

    Definitely praying for you and your family, and hoping things improve soon.

  94. 100
    Charlotte says:

    Case study indeed. Special. Indeed. Continued prayers for you and yours. Wish we could all give you a minute hug.

  95. 101
    Sarah says:

    hahahhahahahahahha- I just subscribed to the blog and the challnge word from Feedburner was “comode” :)

  96. 102
    Laura Ritter says:

    Hugs from nurses are THE BEST!!! They are angels on earth :)

  97. 103
    Carla says:

    U stay strong. The rest of us will cry for u!

  98. 104
    Amber says:

    wow! your positivity is amazing! what a blessing you are to my day.

    You know the verse in the bible…”many are the plans of a man’s heart, but it’s the Lord’s plans that prevail”? i pray that His plans are to make your body healthy and renewed. completely healed. and of course, constipation free!

  99. 105
    gina toothe says:

    hang in there Ashley. i think of you often and pray daily for you ;)

  100. 106
    Shay says:

    My prayers are with you. Today is my first day following your blog and I am so happy I found you Ashley. What an amazing women you are!

    Thank you for brightening my day!

  101. 107
    Myrna says:

    Ashley, I am so proud of you, specially because you keep having the energy to write us all and let us know how you are, even when you don’t know us, you are one of my heroes, for real. Hey, I also wanted to tell you that I live in Ann Arbor, MI . Here we have a great University with very knowledgeable doctors, from all over the world. Tomorrow I will have dinner with my neighbor, who is a PHd Professor in Oncology Radiology. Maybe he can advise you with something, any new discoveries, treatments…I was thinking, if you want just write me or let me know what I should ask him or if you want to contact him directly I can give you his email.
    My prayers to you,

    Myrna

  102. 108
    Amy says:

    Praying for you! You are a strong woman, it’s very inspiring reading your story! So glad you’re feeling ok and keeping a bright attitude :)

  103. 109

    The chemo is everyday but not 24/7 right? My friends step dad did a week of 24/7 chemo. Eeek. Praying, sweet lady.

  104. 110

    Having been through the BIG C three years ago, I can but say Kudos to your courage and your sense of humor! When my 80 year old mother got breast cancer, she was told they could try treatment with radiation and chemo first, before surgery. She just looked at the doctor and said “take ‘em. I’m not using them anymore!”
    Blessings and hugs to you as you go through this- be strong and remember Humor Heals!

  105. 111
    Anais says:

    I wish you the best of luck.. Honestly your positivity is amazing… There are no words to explain how I feel when I read your blog…

    Beat the shit out of the cancer.. That’s all I have to say :)

  106. 112
    Jenny Wenzel says:

    Ashley…you continue to amaze me! if only all Christians could shine the light of Christ like you do! Thank you for continually being HIS light!!!

  107. 113
    adelina says:

    I’ve had the big C twice – cervical. I’ve had two surgeries and luckily no chemo or radiation required. But every six months I have to get tested. It has been four years and it has only come back once. It was devastating to have that word associated with me, I can’t even imagine the strength you have to find to keep moving forward. I have two little ones, so when I read your courageous journey on your blog I am always inspired. My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you and your family. Happy thoughts – it’s all in God’s hands now.

  108. 114
    Laura says:

    you are AMAZING! I just found your blog yesterday after someone posted your video of shaving your head on FB, you gorgeous bald barbie you! You truly are a gift from God, a light the won’t be dimmed, your attitude is amazing. You are a wonderful writer! BEAT THE HELL OUT OF CANCER!!!

  109. 115
    Morgan says:

    You are amazing! I love how positive you are about it all you truly are an inspiration! I just know this new stuff you are moving to is gonna knock it all out! Praying for y’all!

  110. 116

    I have read your blog since I started blogging three years ago and always just lurked and never commented, but your story has moved me more and more these last months.

    I too have a molar pregnancy 10 years ago, but unlike you my treatment was a lot less drastic and I went on to have two beautiful boys.

    However, I have gone on to have a hystorectomny and double mastectomy due to cancer and lost mum mum of Christmas Eve 2010.

    I just wanted to say stay positive, choose Joy and continue to live in the here and now, There is no other way to get through than to be positive.

    You are a shining star and blog posts make me smile everyday and I so look forward to reading them.

    Be well, a fan from the UK,

  111. 117
    Jenny says:

    Just love your blog – and you! Go girl, go!

    Not sure if it will help with the constipation, but Bubbies brand pickles get it through me every time! (Plus they are totally addictive, so I eat like, 8 in a sitting.)

  112. 118

    What an amazing woman you are. Your positive attitude is positively inspiring. I think of you often, though I only know you in the blog world. Many more prayers as you continue on your battle. Cancer Sucks.

  113. 119
    Lisa says:

    You are living proof of Proverbs 17:22.

    “A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. ”

    Thank you for reminding us all of that. My prayers are with you.

  114. 120
    Sabrina says:

    You are special indeed. I am sending you prayers, wishes, happy thoughts and good ju-ju for continuous good news. Just keep swimming…

  115. 121
    Kat Pick says:

    Wow, while it is good to be special, maybe just a little less special would be good this time? You are clearly staying so strong, I am in awe of your positivity…you are amazing! Keep fighting and being the fabulous woman you are….much love coming from Boulder, from me and my Lads…

  116. 122
    Angie says:

    I am so inspired by you and your story! I look forward to finding out what’s going on with you when I open my emails. My daughter is a chemo nurse and truly loves caring for her patients. I was telling her about you and she asked me to share your site with her. She’s thinking about getting some of your bracelets for her patients. Hang in there. We are all pulling for you.

  117. 123
    Emilie says:

    Answers! YES! So much better than waiting even if it’s not a good. I hope you got that milkshake.

    Prayers still coming your way.

  118. 124
    Kate says:

    Hi Ashley:
    They will come up with the right bomb, don’t worry.
    Just wanted to suggest you try Smooth Move Tea. It’s like human draino.

    Praying for you, kid,
    Kate Souder

  119. 125
    Joy Eballar says:

    sending so many prayers your way. Lots of love too. <3

  120. 126
    Elizabeth says:

    Go get yourself that milkshake! I’ve been lurking for a while now, when I came across your site while looking for a tie pattern for my son last April (it was a huge success, so thank you!). Your blog has always inspired me. You are far too creative, and it makes me feel lazy, because I don’t tap into my creative crafty side as often as I should. I’ve been following your post daily for a while now, waiting for your updates to see how you are doing. Its amazing, the power of the internet, and how much you can care for someone you’ve never met. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep fighting, you have no idea how many people are out there pulling for you to get better!

  121. 127
    Charity says:

    Ashley, you are a special and amazing person… and you are SO right… it will all work out how it is supposed to! I am believing God for your complete and total healing… and I know that you are touching lives for Him along the way!
    Blessings and Huge hugs to you… I wish I lived near you, I would love to give you a real hug, and pray with you! Maybe make your family a meal…
    Expecting Miracles,
    Charity <

  122. 128
    Susie says:

    You are SUCH a positive inspiration. Keep it up and prayers for you are coming.

  123. 129
    Cerise says:

    You ARE special and amazing and fantastic. Hope you treated yourself to that shake!

  124. 130

    Ahley; I know I don’t have to tell you this but you are amazing!!!! I was on adriamycin for 12 treatments and as long as they gave me my pre-meds and I followed up with my anti-nausea meds as soon as I got home, I was fine. You might be a bit more tired but that’s about it.

    As far as the constipation goes, take warm baths and ask the doctor for supositories, continue with the green tea supplements (2 or 3 a night) and ducolax and then put on a diaper…just kidding. The bath actually helps.

    I admire how you live each day so fully given all that you are going through. POSITIVITY is the way to get through this and you exhude it.

    Fondly, Heather

  125. 131
    Bianca says:

    Big Hugs and positive energy to your body!

  126. 132
    viv says:

    Praying for you friend…you have brought such perspective to my life….I am truely blessed to read your posts and to know your story….

  127. 133
    Jennifer Moore says:

    Ok, as a nurse and someone who has watched people battle cancer, I have to say that most of the people who beat the ‘big c’ have a faith and attitude that is beyond comprehension. You appear to have that both. Keep up the faith and great attitude. Supplement with this: http://www.joelosteen.com/hopefortoday/pages/article.aspx?h4tid=34
    He is the most positive person I have seen. You can do this with His help. Keep fighting!

  128. 134

    I read your posts regularly, but don’t usually comment. Please know that you are in so many people’s thoughts and prayers. You are strengthening and inspiring people you don’t even know.

  129. 135
    Jenn E. says:

    Hugs Ashley. Still thinking and praying for you & your family.

  130. 136
    Bree says:

    Lunch- donuts and a super milkshake from Mc Donald’s! You are super woman, you inspire me to be a happier more accepting person. :)

  131. 137
    Juanita M says:

    Not a lot of people try to eat healthy and look to nutrition to help with cancer treatment. Since you do, and have fallen into the “rare” category, I will tell you about a natural herb called Indian Herb that we have used. Since you are having tumors grow rapidly, I would be very cautious about deciding to use this herb. The reason is you have to be off chemo/radiation for two weeks before starting the herb. It is a combination of very strong alkaline herbs that throws your body very quickly into an alkaline state which, as you have stated, cancer cannot live in. You can find this herb online at lifelinewater.com. Several people I know have used it topically, including my sister, with very positive results. The reason I am mentioning it to you is because of my father-in-law. He was diagnosed with the same brain cancer that Senator Kennedy died from. It is a seriously aggressive cancer with an extremely rare survival rate. The Veteran’s Hospital doctors gave my FIL less than a year. He was 72 yrs old and a disabled veteran. After his surgery to remove the tumor he was given chemo for two weeks. He did not do well and decided to not continue the treatments. We started giving him this herb. He lived almost 4 YEARS. The Veteran’s Hospital docs didn’t know what to think. They had never seen anyone survive like this. They just wanted him to die and get out of their way ( I won’t go into my feelings about the Veteran’s Hospital). They didn’t want to know what we were doing for him. I think he would have lived longer, but the surgery caused some brain damage that kept him from doing what he loved to do and he got depressed and discouraged. He was a very active gardener, beekeeper, carpenter who loved to read.
    Sorry to take up so much space but I wanted you to know about this option. According to the directions for using this herb, a positive attitude and strong desire to get well are requirements. You have that as well as a strong faith and a very strong family support system.
    You mentioned once something about being chosen to have cancer. I want to disagree with that. I don’t think you were chosen to have cancer since God only wants good for His children. I think the cancer came from the acts of humanity that has put chemicals in our food and environment and changed the chemistry of our main sources of food. I do think that you were chosen though. I think that God saw that you were going to have cancer and knew you would be a wonderful blessing and inspiration so He chose you to be in a position to touch hundreds of lives.
    Still praying for you and your family~

  132. 138
    Prescilla says:

    I had an equally embarrassing x-ray once! Also, I don’t know if you’ve heard of Kangen water. It’s an alkaline water machine, good for you and the best tasting water. http://kangen.net/

  133. 139
    Laura says:

    Ramping up the prayer here. Oh, I hope you had a big CHOCOLATE milk shake.

  134. 140

    Thank you for sharing every part of your story with us! I am always amazed at what you are enduring on a daily basis. I pray sweet peace for you right now, that God will give you complete healing in your body and restore your strength.
    ________________________________________________________
    God we come before you with humble hearts and ask that right now in the name of Jesus you wash over Ashley’s body. Start a complete healing of all the areas of her body that are causing her pain or discomfort, or creating sickness in her. You are a God of miracles and grace, and we ask that you pour out both right now on Ashley. Give her strength on a daily basis to overcome each and every days new journey. Let this journey be just that, just a bump in the road…something that she will forever use as a testiment of faith to help others during their journeys. Be with her and her family blessing them through this…meeting every need they have financially, spiritually, emotionally, and in any other way they need it God. Let this next step in her healing be gentle to her, cradle her through it. In your name we pray. Amen.
    __________________________________________________________

    Best wishes.

  135. 141
    Lori says:

    Yesterday i happened upon a documentary on netflix about a dr burzynski.It was pretty amazing. He treats with something that has AmaZiNg results and is non toxic.I just felt led to share with you. Big hugs and prayers! http://Www.burzynskiclinic.com/

  136. 142
    jerri says:

    CANCER SUCKS!!!!!! but cancer has no idea WHO its dealing with. i believe the cancer will not be able to survive all of the positive energy in your body and the constant love & prayers that surround you!

  137. 143
    amy says:

    you’re special and rare and just truly wonderful!!
    love, JOY, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control (unless we’re talking donuts!) xo!!

  138. 144
    Penny says:

    Praying for you and your family. Keep smiling and drink as many McDonalds milkshakes as you want. Good Thoughts and Prayers

  139. 145
    Trece Wyman says:

    You are special, Ash dear – never forget that. I am very glad that you have your mind firmly fixed.
    I signed the petition for Mattel to mass produce a bald Barbie! Maybe when they do, you can make clothes for her, for Sienna.

  140. 146
    Debbie B says:

    Bummer about the scan results. I am happy that they have more options for you. Nothing like being an outlier in cancer data huh?

    Maybe if you find a greasier doughnut place it might help with the constipation? But then the doughnuts wouldn’t taste the same.

    Prayers to you, your family and your friends.

    Debbie B

  141. 147
    Meig says:

    I sincerely hope that you continue to find peace and joy through this tough journey of yours. I have cared for many family members during their battles with cancer. It’s no fun. I wish there was a magic wand we could use to make it better.

    I also want to share with you the website of a dear friend of mine. He photographed his wife’s fight with breast cancer and shared it with the world so that their families could feel it a bit better. She recently died, but her legacy of life, love, and happiness continues on. Please give it a gander. I find hope in each photo that he took and I am so grateful to have such creative people in my life.

    His website is: http://mywifesfightwithbreastcancer.com/

  142. 148
    Jennifer Erwin says:

    Dr. Burzinski (may have misspelled his name) in Texas. He is the man you need to see.

  143. 149
    Carrie says:

    Reading about your experiences with your Doc’s & Nurses reminds me of how unbelievably AMAZING the folks who work with cancer patients are. It takes very special people to do that job. Sounds weird but I agree with you – they made every experience, even obstacles, pleasant. Their level of compassion is astounding and touched my heart as I am sure it touches yours. Can’t give them enough praise!
    I continue to pray for you and send you good thoughts!
    Keep smiling.

  144. 150

    I guess I missed something somewhere. You design dresses?
    You even have a line??

    You amaze me!

    Prayers,
    Patricia

  145. 151
    Cindy Click says:

    Prayers for your “new visitor.” It’s not your colon, thank goodness: I know that you were concerned about that. You sound like you are surrounded by the best medical people around. I’m sure you are touching each life during your chemo days. That minute hug from the nurse shows just how special you are. Hang in there girl. I just wish all of us bloggers lived near you. I want to help with Boo or food or grocery shopping or clean your house. But from afar from Ok- I send you prayers, love and nothing but joy. Hugs,
    Cindy

  146. 152
    Melissa says:

    Ashley, you truly are an inspiration with how positively you can spin anything! Praying for you as you hit another obstacle, I know you will come out the other end an even better person than you already are! I can’t wait to see the new line you have Gisela working on :)

  147. 153
    Monique says:

    Bummer! But you are tough and will not let this get you down. I think I had a adriamycin and if I remember right it makes you pee red – so more potty humor for you! Keep getting well!

  148. 154
    Luz says:

    Hugs! Truly an inspiration!

  149. 155
    Amanda says:

    Finding your blog and hearing your story are begining to change the way I think about…everything I do. When my girls are driving me to the brink of crazytown, and when my husband makes me see red, or just when I’m in a bad mood…I am starting to think of you. I ask myself, “what would Ashley do?” I need a WWAD bracelet. Thank you for helping me get through…you are beautiful :)

  150. 156
    Sue Alg says:

    If you could can your attitude and use if to fight this terrible cancer, you’d not only be cured, but would be bottling it and becoming a millionaire. Your attitude is wonderful. Keep it up. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Hang in there.

    You always brighten my day because you are so inspirational. God Bless

  151. 157
    Leigh Ann says:

    Wishing you a restful and peaceful night. Thinking of you and continued prayers for you and your family.I was hoping the dr. would have some better news for you,but it sounds like you have a great team who is going to get right on it. We will just have to add some more prayer warriors to your team. I really think you are going to kick this cancers butt!
    Hugs!

  152. 158
    Janey Shaw says:

    Have you tried MiraLAX for the constipation? I’ve been following you for quite awhile now and love your positive attitude concerning your cancer. You are in my prayers. God is good and He is good all the time!

  153. 159
    Dawn says:

    I’m glad there are lots of eyes watching out for you. And I’d totally go with the milkshake. Just look at chemo time as a weird science experiment (and you’re the specimen!) Get through it, one day at a time, strange/annoying/unpleasant side effects and all. And chemo nurses are special, they have to be. My nurses early on were the young and tough ones, the ones that gave me the “no whining!” lectures (jokingly, of course). Later on, when it was really getting rough, I realized that I now had the older crew. The moms and grandmas. The ones that insisted on hugs. I do love how the universe looks out for us! If I could, I’d bring you a milkshake and a big hug. You rock. Cancer sucks, but you’re learning so much — and teaching others even more. It’s crazy how things work. Hang in there — and I LOVE that new t-shirt!

  154. 160
    tisha says:

    Ashley..

    I know you may never get this far down on comments, BUT try aloe vera capsules for constipation.. Sounds soothing right.. NOT.. that will clean you right out.. I really take one capsule every other day… I don’t know if you can take a natural type herb formula with chemo but if so this stuff is strong but good. Don’t take it unless you seriously want to be “cleaned out”. And if you take it at night.. don’t leave home until you have moment of you will be sorry.. I know your momma would agree that during your treatment it is important to keep those toxins moving OUT of your body through evacuation.. (there’s another good word .. Evacuate… Keep up the good work missy..

  155. 161
    Jennifer J says:

    You gotta do something about the constipation!!!!! You don’t want the toxins to stay in you – they can get back into your body that way. Another thing I have used is Milk of Magnesia. It is like a roto-rooter for humans. Take at night. In morning, get rid of thousands of bits in an explosive way. Painful for a few minutes. Totally worth it!! You must have at least 10 suggestions by now. Choose one and try it!!
    I envy your attitude. The most frequent words out of my mouth are “tell me I am going to be OK” And I don’t have cancer. Wish you could bottle that attitude. I’d buy some in an instant.
    I am sending up prayers for you, your family, and your friends. I have a testimony that miracles happen every day, and you testify of miracles in your life with almost every blog post. I know that Heavenly Father loves you, and will do all that is right to help you. Always best wishes…

  156. 162
    mamajil says:

    praying!

  157. 163
    Margaret says:

    Your posts always make me laugh and cry at the same time. I am so trying to always choose joy since I have been reading your blog. My issues are nothing like yours and if you can be joyful what the heck do I have to be bummed about? I think you are awesome and I am amazed at what you continue to get done every day. Keep up the good work and know that apparently you have thousands praying for you every day. Me included. Thanks for inspiring all of us to choose joy every day no matter what.

  158. 164
    Sherri says:

    Your positive attitude is amazing!!! I hope and pray the new chemo will do what it is supposed to do!
    “Choose Joy” is such a wonderful way to live.

  159. 165
    Jo Saunders says:

    Go girlfriend x x x
    From your British friend x

  160. 166
    Andrea Austin says:

    Hello Ms. Ashley Joy – I don’t know what your middle name is but I’m just going to call you Ashley JOY because you have it. You CHOOSE it and the light of Jesus SHINES like a beacon through you! You abide in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you especially for your comment about things are going to be exactly what they are supposed to be. Amen, my friend. Amen.

  161. 167

    BTW – if you have a minute (which I doubt) take a look at my website. I’ve been eating Juice Plus+ caps and gummies for YEARs and I have ZERO constipation. Love ya Ashley Joy!

  162. 168
    Victoria says:

    Big hugs!! xoxo, Victoria

  163. 169
    Kari says:

    Keep fighting! Amazing Lady! :)

  164. 170
    Jessica says:

    Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you! Your strength is amazing and so inspiring. Hugs from Seattle, WA! :)

  165. 171

    If I were you, I’d ask the Dr. for a prescription for milkshakes. Then you could have one whenever you want and no one could give you crap. God is so so good and your faith in the face of all of this is a testimony to that. Keeping you in my prayers.

  166. 172
    Tracy says:

    EMA-PA + Major Cancer Ass-Kickin’ Vibes from all of US = Sayonara Cancer!
    Beat it, go on…get outta here!
    (sorry Family Show, I know…just letting that nasty stuff know who’s Boss)
    Hugs and prayers!

  167. 173
    Jen says:

    I pray that this new treatment works well, and quickly! I love your attitude, what a great example you are to me!

  168. 174
    Karen says:

    You go girl! Give your wonderful mom a hug for me. We moms are warriors when it comes to our children. I am having to be a bear for my son right now to get him what he needs. As for the out come..you have so many of us rooting for you and sending up prayers that it will all go according to plan. Keep choosing JoY

  169. 175
    Brenda says:

    Just wanted to tell you that even though I don’t know you and have only known of your blog for about a month, I’m praying for you often! You’re an inspiration!

  170. 176
    Anneliese says:

    I will tell you what my mother always said when she was battling cancer: everything is in His hands. I know yhou know that already. I hope you continue to have the peace that passeth understanding.

  171. 177
    Ann says:

    Adriamycin is bright red, so now along with your “Mountain Dew” drip, you’ll have a “Cherry Kool-aid” drip as well! :) In all seriousness though, I’m really sorry to hear about the new tumor. I hope this next chemo regimen will kick its butt. Adriamycin is a force to be reckoned with! I had it too. Take care!

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