Neanderthals

This cute little 2.5 pound guy……

 

I’m not the only one with never-ending doctor appointments…..little Diesel has a liver disease and he’s pretty high maintenance. He’s on a special diet and homeopathic remedies. Every once in a while he’ll go through a bad spell where he gets an upset stomach. He gets really nervous and requires a lot of attention…..like last night.

In the middle of the night I hear Mr. LBB get out of bed…

Me: Everything okay?
Mr. LBB: Diesel just pooped under the sheets.
Me: Just put a towel over it….I’ll wash the sheets in the morning.

30 minutes later….

Me: Diesel just leaked under the sheets on my side.
Mr. LBB: Put a towel over it.
Me: Ugh.

This goes back and forth for a few hours….Diesel switching sides of the bed. Leaking. We run through all our towels.

 

Me: Omg….he leaked on the towel again.
Mr. LBB: Let’s give him more antibiotic and make him drink some water…maybe he’ll feel better.

I force feed Diesel  some water and antibiotic. He goes to sleep on my pillow.

An hour later….

Mr. LBB: I think Diesel leaked on your pillow.
Me: And…..I’m too tired to care. Goodnight.


Yep. I slept with dog poo on my pillow.  It’s the most eventful thing that happened in the last 24 hours.

I have no hair…..it could have been worse.

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Comments

  1. 1
    Danielle says:

    Ashley, that was just TOO good, thank you for making me belly laugh and realize..there is ALWAYS a bright side!! CHOOSE JOY!!

  2. 2

    How in the world could you sleep with dog crap in your bed?! I’m totally laughing but that’s so gross! I know he’s only 2.5 lbs, but I totally would have given him the boot from the bed after the fist sign of leakage! LOL!

  3. 4
    Felicia says:

    LOL At least you didn’t have poop in your hair! Poor Diesel!

  4. 5

    Oh Lordy that is funny….and so true. We have a 5 lb. Yorkie that has seizures and he always wants to sit in my lap when he has them and proceeds to vomit ALL over my lap…it’s disgusting but we love them anyway…all the best to you and your family. I read our blog everyday and I am so inspired by you…..

  5. 6

    Oh my! Totally laughing out loud!

  6. 7

    nothing like sleepin’ with a little dog poo! Been there done that…LOL seriously…

  7. 8

    Thanks for that much needed laugh:D Too much!

  8. 9

    At least someone is pooping! Poor little Diesel. Is he feeling better today?

  9. 10

    Oh that’s really gross, and yet I am still laughing, lol!!

  10. 11

    Oh my gosh I love you. When shiz hits the fan (or pillow) it’s time to start laughing.

  11. 12

    LOL! We have 3 large dogs, and one of them is always doing something gross, so i can relate.
    You should sew teeny cloth diapers for Diesel. It could be the new fad for doggie fashion!
    Hope you have dog poo-free sleep tonight!

  12. 13

    One of the things I love about your blog, you always make us laugh. That was true love on your part last night, but looking at that face it is obvious why. Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

  13. 14
    Dianne K says:

    LOL!! You always make me laught! Thanks!

  14. 15
    Meghan Jensen says:

    Poor leaky Diesel. Poor pillow. :)

  15. 16

    Drew (my 3yo going thru chemo) keeps me up all night b/c he likes to nap from 5-8pm or even 7-10pm. He watches TV and I read my blogs. He was looking at the blog with me and kept making me go back to the pic of Diesel b/c he thought he was so cute. Then he wanted to know if Diesel was a dog I worked on (I’m a vet). I told him no, that Diesel lived in California. Then he wanted to know if California has fire ants! Odd question, but I told him I’d ask! Hope Diesel is doing better and the rest of you are doing well too.

    • 17
      Dora Taylor says:

      I don’t know about Palm Springs…but I used to live in Ladera Ranch, CA (which is in South Orange County) and we did have fire ants. So, you can tell Drew that “YES, unfortunately we do have fire ants”.
      Take Care,
      Dora

    • 18

      No we don’t but when we lived in NC we did and with small children they were awful. they always built their hill near our sandbox play area . . . . glad to be rid of them. :-)

  16. 19
    jennifer powell says:

    Totally laughing! We (hubby swears it was MINE…but being married means OURS) had a cat once that had a upset stomach after bedtime. She was running circles around the bedroom..and pooping at the same time! Her running across the head of the bed woke us…but my hubby saying “is that cat crap?!” really woke me up!

  17. 20
    Kelly B says:

    What a good laugh. Yes, it could have been worse! You poor thing. Ew.

  18. 21

    thanks! that made me laugh out loud AND feel better about life with small children. :) here’s to a less eventful evening.

  19. 22

    A couple of weeks ago, one of our dogs wet the bed. He was on top of the covers, so only the quilt and top sheet got wet. My husband was sleeping and had to be up very early the next day. I knew he would not be amused at having to get up for me to change the sheets. I managed to change the quilt and top sheet without him knowing.
    I hope your little guy is feeling better tonight so you can sleep soundly on clean sheets ; )

  20. 23
    Dena Doll says:

    Just wanted to let you know….you’re not the only one! lol! The other night we had given our black lab a bath and therefore she was aloud to sleep with us in our bed! (memory foam) well, she was trying to sit on my head, she nearly pushed me off the edge! She is only 5 months old, but weighs 40lbs, anyway, she was so very restless! She is, for the most part, potty trained, but at night she wears a doggie diaper! (the cloth kind that goes over their tail and you put a pad inside it to soak up any accidents)
    After about 15 mins of fighting with her to get off my head, and reclaiming my pillow, lol, she settled down towards the middle of the bed and went to sleep.(so I thought)
    Whew! I could finally get some sleep myself. I was groggy and tired…then all of a sudden, I smelled a little whif of poop. I though she had gas until I reached down in the dark to feel if she still had her diaper on…WELL…..she had gotten her diaper off, the pad was stuck to her side….and when I felt her tail I had something wet and sticky on my finger….yep, poop!
    I immediately jumped up and turned on a distant light so as not to wake my husband…(hes like a bear out of early hibernation when you wake him up!) and what to my wondering eyes do I see…a HUGE pile of poop in the middle of the bed!!!!
    OMGOSH…my husband opened his eyes and asked what in the world was I doing…..As I was holding back throwing up myself..lol…I mustered up the words…”DON’T MOVE!!” Then he got up to get the dog outside I could change the bed..well she got to the top of the stairs (we have a baby gate at the top for our toddler) and immediately the dog had explosive diahreah….lol! I laugh, because it could have been worse…I could have been behind her as she was going down the stairs! yuck…anyway….she seemed to have a water gun for a hind end!
    We then had no choice..so there we were…cleaning the walls, cleaning pictures on the walls, and cleaning the carpets, and washing the sheets, 2 blankets and the mattress cover(thank goodness she didn’t get it past the cover and onto the memory foam mattress) when we should have been in bed sleeping!!
    So, I hear ya on the could have been worse comment!!(I am so thankful that she was not sitting on my head!!)
    Don’t worry my internet friend…you are not alone……!

    ♥With all that you are going thru, please never feel that you are alone! You will find that others are too going thru the same or similiar things too. Whether it’s something personal or something small You are a strong and wonderful woman….Remember, it could always be worse and it’s that kind of attitude that will get you thru the toughest of days!
    ♥♥Moral or our stories: When life puts you thru sh*t…it could always be worse! lol!
    Hope you got a few chickles while reading this…laughter is the best medicine sometimes!
    Prayers sent your way!

    • 24
      Claudia says:

      OK Dena, that was the funnniest story I heard in a LONG while. I am still crying over it and my mascara is bleeding !

      Dear Ashley, what an inspiration you are ! Thank you for sharing your life with us.

      Claudia

    • 25

      Oh my gosh, Dena, I am CRACKING UP!!! Sorry it’s at your expense, but…….
      We have a 6 pound Pomeranian that wears a size 2 baby diaper to bed every night. I just fold her tail over to the side & it fits perfectly. She pee’s in her sleep, so the bed must be protected!! I’m glad she doesn’t sit on my head!

      Thanks for sharing!

  21. 26
    Jennifer Goldberg says:

    Thank you for the laugh I needed it tonight.

  22. 27

    Yes, your story is definitely funny…., but the dog poo on the pillow – with or without hair on your head – is just gross, I’m sorry, but it is!!!

    God bless your generousity to your little being!

    Patricia

  23. 28

    I. Am. Never. Getting. A. Dog.
    If anything was pooping in our bed, I guarantee neither me nor my husband would call it “leaking”. It would be a shout of “So-and-so SH*T the bed!”
    And Dena….Whoa. No words for that.
    You ladies are saints! Saints I tell ya!

  24. 29

    I just read this to my husband and told him this is why we can’t have a dog! Poor Disel-hope the little guy feels better soon!

    Kari

  25. 30
    Cathy Appel says:

    OMG-u crack me up. I too have a pooch with issues. What condition does Diesel have? I can’t believe he leaked so much on the bed-u never get a break. Does he have EPI? Try the Honest Kitchen food it works wonders.

  26. 31
    Rebecca Garrett says:

    I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one to just put towels over things and deal with it in the morning!!! I also once had a cat that ate a shoe string and it got stuck out of his butt with a poop on the end. I woke up to him running across my face and dragging his poop string across my face. LOL!! Animals seem to do their grosses things at night!

  27. 35

    Time to be grateful that he is only a 2.5 pounder!

  28. 36

    I love this post. You’ve got such a way with words. You’ve taken a pretty horrible situation (for all three of you) and turned it into a hilarious tale. I’m still LOL over the lack of hair comment. I’ve said it before, you are such an inspiration for me. You truly do choose JOY in every situation!

  29. 37

    this is so funny (but poor baby of course for having liver issues)….we really do love our doggies but they can do some nasty things! I would have re-located to the couch for the night :) but then again I have a big standard poodle so her poo is much bigger!

  30. 38

    Im laughing even though i couldnt do it. at a certain point i woulda just cleaned it. but i get the towel over it. both my kids would puke poop or pee the bed and thats what i did. 3am with a nursing infant yea a towel will do. hope diesel feels better and prayers for you.

  31. 39

    Ew… but I like that little “sh*t” doesn’t bother you.

    I don’t let dogs on my bed or furniture… grosses me out, poop or not. Diesel has it pretty good.

  32. 40

    I have a little fur baby. It’s funny what we put up with from those we love.

    There are doggie diapers you can get so that’s an idea! And it’d be cute! LoL

  33. 41

    Yuck! Hair or no hair it’s just too gross! Next time get the dog off your bed and Let it pee and poo all over the house. Lol!

  34. 42

    Oh thank heavens I have your blog to make me laugh!!!! Wow, I thought my husband and I were the only NEANDERTHALS that would do something like that!!!!

  35. 43

    I am laughing so hard right now…thank you..I needed a good laugh tonight! Leave it to you to always choose joy! God bless Ashley!

  36. 44
    Ruby Lynn says:

    OMG…I had Coke coming out of my nose reading your story and then the comments!

    My Charlie, also a Yorkie, weighed in at about 8 pounds, and would leave deposits in unexpected places at times but my oh my never on my pillow.

    Your no hair statement wouldn’t have mattered to me, the thought of warm poopies on my skin…Hmm, not so much…Ashley, my dear!!!

    Bad enough when my daughter fell asleep on my chest as a baby (about 3 months old) and I decided to take a cat nap on the sofa ’cause I was exhaused. Woke up about a half hour later to this sour smell, you know when you think you’re dreaming, your nose twittess first, you teel something warm on your skin, something wet, touch your baby, what’s that???? Yikes, OMG her pink pj is brown. She had an explosion in her diaper and it spilled out every where. Through her pj, onto me, onto the sofa. Too gross. Worse, hubby was at work and I had to clean it up. :(

    Hopefully Diesel feels better tonight, you and Mr. LBB will have a nice clean bed and a night of snuggles together. :)

    Prayers and lover, Ruby

  37. 45

    Oh my word, Ashley! It’s 11:30pm here and everyone in my house is sleeping except for me. You literally made me laugh out LOUD! I don’t care how tired I am, or how little hair I may have, I seriously don’t think I could sleep with dog poo on my pillow. My sense of smell is too sensitive and too connected to my gag reflex to allow that.

    We have a 15 lb. toy aussie with a very sensitive stomach – he eats 2 ingredient natural dog food and cheerios – so I totally get the ridiculous things we do to accommodate the fuzzy little beasts we choose to share our homes (and pillows!) with. Wouldn’t trade Rudy for the world!

    Love you! Keep choosing joy!

  38. 46
    Jamie Wangen Reed says:

    Thanks for a good chuckle. I’m just invisioning 2 people tossing around all night long trying to avoid dog poo. Isn’t it terrible when your dog has issues to. We have a german shepherd who is pretty much our second child along with our jack russell and son. Seriously you name our german shepherd has had it or something very similar. We have came close to losing her a few times. She has epilepsy and in 24 hours had 5 grand mal seizures : ( she also swallowed a chew stick (hate those damn things) and it obstructed her bowel. Currently she had ulcers in between her paw pads and she licks them all. night. and. day. long. UGH!! Love her so much though.

  39. 47

    Laughing so hard right now. xoxo

  40. 48
    Emily Raaka says:

    I am crying laughing! You are a great dog-momma! After a certain amount of barf or poop in a lifetime, I think that it is a great thing to just “throw a towel on it.” It is a badge of honor! We have done that with our dog and our kids too…

  41. 49

    I’m feeling sorry for your poor furbaby, but…how can you sleep with doggy leakage all over your bed? I’m impressed with your lack of concern on the matter. I would be completely freaking out, and bleaching down everything within my reach. :-)

  42. 50

    Oh goodness I’m sorry but I am laughing so hard. …. But only because I have been where you are with my little boy. He has seizures and when he does he will pee .. One night I was just too tired to do anything so I did the same thing .. Put a towel on it. :) what do you give your baby for the liver disease? My guy is having liver problems.

    I hope you get lots of rest.

  43. 51

    So, it’s 1 am here on the east coast and the reason I’m reading this at this hour is because I just cleaned poop off of my 4lb poodle Lexi. She woke me to go out and as I let her in from outside she began to do the hiney scooch across the carpet. Poop on her, poop on the carpet… You get the picture! Laughing out loud in the adventures of doggy doo!!! Happy washing tomorrow!!!

  44. 52

    That. Is. Awesome!! Unconditional love all around!!

  45. 53

    your endless reserves of perspective are inspiring. too funny. and ultimately, dog poo is not that big of a deal. but still very funny. thanks for sharing~

  46. 54

    Poor little guy! :( hehehe… When your tired nothing else matters but sleep… all else can wait. :D

  47. 55

    I am so glad that we all put towels over things to deal with in the morning. You poor thing, what a great attitude and poo Diesel. Hope you both get some rest today.

  48. 56
    Kitty Schaefer says:

    Well crack me up girl you never cease to amaze me. I just prayed for you and then read this. I hope you have a blessed day and I will keep you in my thoughts. :)

  49. 57

    Sleeping with my son’s vomit on my pillow doesn’t seem so bad now. (not quite a Neanderthal, it was just a little that missed towel and bucket)

  50. 58

    GAH! I’m right there with you! My dog has colonitis and I have to force feed him two pills in the morning and two at night. He also is on a special prescription food and is not allowed ANY human food (which is hard because guests tend to try to feed it to him). If he misses his meds or gets into food he shouldn’t, we’re looking at bloody diarrhea for days. Not fun for him, me or my white carpets. Not to mention that due to his upset stomach there is also a lot of vomiting! Thankfully his regimen is working and we haven’t had any bouts recently and we attack everyone as they come in the door with “For the love of my sanity, DON’T FEED THE DOG!!!” Although I don’t think I’ve ever slept with dog poo on my pillow….

  51. 59

    LMAO

    be well lil Diesel

  52. 60
    Tiffany says:

    Only Ashley!! You crack me up.

  53. 61
    Meredith M. says:

    And as cute as he is, that reminds me why I don’t want an animal right now. I clean up enough boogers, poo and pee with 2 kids :)

  54. 62
    Beverly Atkins says:

    This is all so funny!!! Loved and laughed about how much you all love your pets. My little Callie has a liver shunt which makes for some bathroom issues as well. I couldn’t love her more. Callie no longer sleeps with me – I think it’s because I snore too loud!!!! She always comes along in the morning around 4 and gets in bed with me until I get up. She also won’t eat dog food. She actually eats very little. Currently it’s our biggest problem. She needs to gain some weight. I’d be interested to know what Diesel is being fed if you get a chance. Maybe you could do a blog about little Diesel. Feel free to email me if you want. He is so cute. Love you Ashley and you are so funny! Thanks for my morning chuckle!!!

  55. 63

    That definitely made me giggle this morning!

  56. 64
    Laura Ritter says:

    Aww poor little guy. He always looks likes he’s smiling :o) Made me laugh!

  57. 65

    You just gave me a good laugh! That story is hilarious!
    I started reading your blog not too long ago….and I think you are an amazing person….you are so talented. Just love your attitude. :)

  58. 66

    Oooooh boy! what we won’t do for our dogs! been there & done that!

  59. 67

    One of our dogs has a sensitive stomach and had been having diarehha for what we thought was no reason (we later found out our nice neighbor would save up the fat he trimmed off cuts of meat and give it to our dog without telling us). I woke up one night smelling poop and discovered our dog had pooped in his crate. I wasn’t thinking very clearly because I decided to let the dog out of the crate to take him outside (instead of pushing his crate to the back door which would have been the less messy method). He stopped walking in the middle of the kitchen and did his doggie shake, therefore “peppering” me and the entire kitchen with splatters of wet dog poop. My husband managed to get him out the door while I stood in shock (with only a t-shirt on as pajamas mind you). About 3 hours later, the kitchen and I were both completely sanitized. Probably one of the grossest and funniest things that’s ever happened to me!

  60. 68

    Ugh, dog poo on the pillow… I prefer cat poo, that’s better for my sensitive skin :D

  61. 69

    best smile i’ve had all day :)

  62. 70

    Bahaha. What we forgive from our fuzzies that non-fuzzies would so get spanked for!!

  63. 71
    Rebekah says:

    Oh Ashley! THANK YOU!
    I had my husband read about the other girl who utters, “just throw a towel over it.” and he now knows we are not alone.
    You rule! Your devotion to the little guy is just beautiful.
    We send love and strong door busting thoughts of health and happiness for you and your family.
    Thank you,
    Rebekah

  64. 72

    Thanks for the belly laugh ;)

  65. 73

    Your post and these comments re cracking me up! This past Monday night our dog did the same thing! It must be the moon!

  66. 74

    Poor diesel!

    Have u been giving him your coffee enemas too??

    Hugs,
    Gina

  67. 76
    Meghan Grace says:

    Oh, we animal lovers are something else-especially when we are exhausted! There are nights when I just pray that hubs doesn’t get up without his glasses and step in a little brown “something” left by our mini rat terrier and make a big ole mess! Nothing left in our bed so far but wouldn’t be surprised by anything! I am praying that big little D is feeling better! He is a true doll!!!!

  68. 77
    Vicki Turner says:

    Ashely you truely are a saint! There is no way I would be sleeping in poop…lol Hope Diesal is feeling better soon, poor baby.

  69. 78
    Daisy Aslett says:

    Hilarious! Last night my dog vomited in bed (and he’s 70lbs so there’s a bit more mess). I have to confess, I was beyond exhausted so I mopped it up, sprayed it with a bit of cleaner and then went back to sleep on the other side of the bed.

  70. 79

    Hilarious! Now I won’t be able to stop laughing and my husband will tell me to go to bed. Too funny!

  71. 80
    Meghan Jensen says:

    This just reminded me of a time when my sister and her three daughters took in a stray cat… Her husband HATES cats. They were able to keep it hidden for months but one day he discovered their lil secret and freaked out. He was ranting and raving about how dirty they are nd how he will find ahit all over that house. We all sat there quiet…. It’s better this way. So that night before he hopped into bed my sister chewed up a large tootsie roll and placed it on his pillow.. EVENTUALLY, he thought it was funny too…. eVENTUALLY.

  72. 81
    Darla Maple says:

    Is there something in your environment causing cancer?

  73. 82

    Awh! Poor Diesel – and poor you guys, AT least he’s super cute. (PS – is it wrong that this totally made me laugh?)

  74. 83

    thank heaven i’m not the only one who throws a towel on it! good for you!

  75. 84

    Oh I can top that! My sheltie-corgie, years ago, got into the trash after Thanksgiving dinner and ate all the left over ham bits and ham bones. yes… All of them. ((sigh)) We had no idea. Until the middle of the night. The one people food item that dog could not digest well was ham. Oh yes. You better believe it. About 2 am. I woke up from a deep sleep thinking, “why do I smell ham?” I thought maybe my husband had woke up and fixed himself a micro-waved ham sammich. We had a waterbed back then – one of the big ones with the chest of drawers underneath and the little cubby that went all the way through. The door covering that broke a long time ago. I mention it for a reason… ha. I went to step out of bed to investigate only to discover something cold and wet on my foot the moment I step down. Now, my bed is tall and I have to step out of it to reach the night stand to the light. I step down again, after jerking my foot away from the first strange thing I step in and step in it yet again, in another spot. turning on the light is the worst sight a woman in the middle of the night should ever see besides a strange man standing over her. My sweet little dog – a mere mite of a pup – had pooped every square inch of my bedroom. The ham really tore that tummy tum tum up. She must of leaked and kept walking. Not to be gross but it was everywhere!! And where did she do her last of the poop walk? Under my waterbed down the “crawlspace.” There is no “nuzzling your husband awake gently” after this. I knew he’d be furious! And he was. We both gagged our way out of the bedroom and threw some blankets on the living room floor the rest of the night, baracading the bedroom. We had to take down the entire waterbed, draining it, and tried to steam clean the carpet – which was cream colored. We ended up having to replace the carpet in the room. Poor little Lucky. I felt bad for her. She lived 15 years and was my heart and soul all those years. What we don’t do for our pets, eh? :) It is a bad memory but at least I can laugh about it now!

  76. 85

    time for the little doggie diapers, nights like this! Wouldn’t that be cute?

  77. 86

    The things we do for our pets. Thank you for giving me a great laugh today. I am a complete stranger but somehow landed at your blog and love reading it. What wonderful news you received. Yay!

  78. 87
    Bonny Smelser says:

    All I can say is you are an amazing woman and Mr. LBB is an amazing man!
    Thank God YOU CHOOSE JOY! I have read every comment, laughed, gagged,& remembered the towel days with my children!
    I have to say Dena’s scenario was over top funny!
    I’m thinking doggie diapers is a great idea if they don’t wiggle out of them!
    Love to you Ashley!!!

Trackbacks

  1. […] leader and not them, you are the one who controls where your dog sleeps to show you are the boss.Having you dog sleep on the bed with you is perfectly normal and healthy if you do not mind, it is r…theirs. If you come into the room and your dog is on the couch or bed and you go over to the do and […]

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