Email Love: Volume 4

Compilation of snarky emails and comments volume 4 via lilblueboo.com

 

I always save my favorite emails and comments….especially the ones that made me laugh…..and the hate mail. Here’s some excerpts from both….thanks for the love everyone!
Click here for the whole series.

 

 

Random email…..subject: “Unlike”

“For some reason I can’t unlike you I want you off my Facebook …have you created some kind of block..?”
Note to self: figure out how to block people from un-liking my page.

 

 

On my Elf on the Shelf series:

“Considering this is a little kids tradition, i think alot of these were so discusting? especially for little kids. , like the peeping tom, the pills in the drink, being high, a camel toe? as if little kids even know what that stuff is! what is this world coming to. you can even do a kids tradition without someone turning into some kind of sick joke.”
I agree….what is the world coming to?! Why would an elf have cameltoe?! And worse….why would some loser photograph it?!

 

 

 

On my faux hawk a few months back:

“I cannot get over how sexy de mohawk lookie.”
I say this almost once a day now “sexy de mohawk lookie”….it just makes me happy.

“love you, but sorry, hate that hairdo!  looks way to lesbianic (to quote jersey shore).  nothing wrong with a short do, but that’s not cute!!”
I do value ALL opinions!  Thank you!

“I know you are not a lesbian but I still think you should submit your look-a-like photo:  http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/”
I don’t get it:


 

 

 

 

On my Random Acts of Kindness video:

“It is wonderful that your daughter wanted to do this  But the magic dissipated by the filming and posting of this video.  Acts of kindness should be done secretly, without publicity.  I am sorry to see this corruption of such a lovely idea.”
I understand where you are coming from…and it’s wonderful that you wanted to do this too..but I feel like the magic dissipated when you pressed “post comment.”

 

A few excerpts from a favorite email:

“i just want to do the right thing and inform your that your blog won’t load for me during the evening hours. like from 9-10pm until the next morning. i am sure that it doesn’t work all night because i stayed up all night writing a paper last night. it doesn’t load slow, it just doesn’t load at all. maybe the Lord bestowed wisdom upon you to put your blog to bed every night so that college students like myself would write their papers instead of reading stranger’s blogs? maybe this is a new trend? i’m not mad. that would be stupid. (plus if i was you would publish it. so funny.) i just want to cry like an infant when i can’t keep reading. yaaaaa. just thought i’d ask if this was the norm on your blog or if i’m doing something wrong or something? you’re hilarious. keep on keeping on. also hire me. i love sewing. and fabric. and in-n-out burger which i’m assuming you have.  now i’ve probably creeped you out. great. thats usually my goal.” -kimberly
You did not creep me out Kimberly.  I fell in love with you. I’m glad you aren’t mad. You are hired. Get back to work.

 

 

 

On my iPad Gloves tutorial:

F*** you c***
I’m sorry the tutorial didn’t work for you. And I’m sorry I had to censor your comment. I hate doing that.

 

 

On Boo getting money from the tooth fairy:

“We toss baby teeth in the trash (after a high-five) and our kids are all fine with it.  (link in comment): Why do parents pay their kids money for something that belongs in the trash?”
Three problems with this:
1. I’ve been brainwashed by society.
2. I’m a hoarder. I even have my own baby teeth still.
3. My child wrote a note specifically asking the tooth fairy to leave her tooth.  Yeah, you’re right, I should just chuck it…..

 

 

On my issue with Costco straws:

“Seriously you are all a bunch of hypochondriacs! No wonder there is an allergy epidemic in the world, way too precious and protective :) Who cares about the straws the door handles to the toilets are probably much worse! Think of fact then when you grab a straw you are building your immune system up!”
I don’t touch door handles or toilets either.  There are specific techniques for that. But I never get sick either….well, except for cancer….so I think my hypochondriac tendencies might be working in my favor.

BTW…Costco called me and left a message reassuring me that they wear gloves to put the straws into the containers. So, the customers are wearing gloves too?

 

 

On my Instagram Photo Projects:

“Y? U can do most of, if not all of those projects w/o using instagram. I’ve got the app on my phone and think it’s dumb. It may take a bit of planning, but I cud create most of those w/ photos I’ve already got or by printing them out in the appropriate size. Just sayin’…” -Jennifer
Genius. Y oh Y didn’t I think of that.

 

 

Ok, although I’m Team Vanderpump through and through I thought it was cool that Adrienne Maloof might be doing The Lil Journal Project:

******

 

 

Random Google searches that brought people to Lil Blue Boo:

My favorites are the ones that sound like the person is confiding in Google:
i am so behind on printing pictures
i’m having a bad day
i need to make a confession
i hate when waiters bring you unwrapped straws
i can’t tie dye a heart very well
i want to name my baby boys photo albums have any cute ideas?
i need help finishing my t shirt quilt

 

Questions I saw that I thought I’d answer:
is lilblueboo a wordpress blog?
yes. genesis theme framework.
can you paint paper with chalkboard paint?
yes. vinyl works best.
can you make a little boy shirt from a men’s shirt?
yes…or a girl’s shirt! click here.
gesso, modge podge, matte medium?
love them all. use them all. sometimes mixed.
how long to cut fold over elastic for ponytail holder?
7″ for a hair tie. 14″ for a headband. click here.
how many yards do you need to recover a glider?
3 to  5 yards depending on the fabric width. click here.
how to put dots in an instagram pictures?
it’s bokeh. click here.


And then these searches:
lilblueboo corpses
my boobs are too big for my bra
does ric flair smoke
poop pic of the day
spiritual meaning of not been able to poop
how to poop NOW
you’ve just been put on blast
how many types of boobs are there
male divers losing suit
caught drinking at 16 nc
big problems pooping
if a spider bites me am i spider woman
are people supposed to sh*t blue

 

I hope you found what you were looking for.

Enough with the poop already.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

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Comments

  1. 1

    Oh man! I love these posts…they are my favorite!! I always end up cry laughing! Thanks for sharing.

  2. 2

    this post actually shocked me. people. and I’m not a fan of Ms. Maloof at all, but um, that’s pretty cool.

    • 3
      I promise I'm nice. says:

      What’s wrong with Adrienne….Brandy is a complete bottom feeder and I wish Adrienne would bury her!

  3. 4

    Thanks, that was hilarious. P.S. I love your style everyone else can Suck It!!

  4. 5

    These are hilarious! You made my day . . .

  5. 6

    Ahahahahahahaha
    The tooth one cracked me up. “My child asked for the tooth fairy to leave her tooth. Ya, probably should have just chucked it.” lol! Who would ever do that to their child?!?
    Ps, I still have all my teeth too. I don’t know why, just sentimental about them I guess! Also, I lost a tooth with a silver filling and I wanted to see what was inside, so I dissected it. It was pretty fun to do. And I still have all the pieces of that too!

  6. 7

    This is my favorite blogging series. Seriously- you’re hilarious. And what people google and arrive at your blog is also hilarious. This just made my whole night.

  7. 8

    Actually, Melissa, the funny bone is the ulna.

  8. 9

    so funny. and yes, de mohawk be sexy.

  9. 10
    Ashley Williams says:

    Eeeeeeek I just screeeched when I saw the title of this post! LOVE THESE. (Is screeeeched a word?)

  10. 11

    I can’t believe people bother! I have just spent a laughing-filled five minutes! LOVE this post.

  11. 12

    I love your posts! You are hilarious, creative, and inspiring others to make the world a better (and more fun) place to be. Keep up the stellar work! :)

  12. 13

    That made my day, my week, my year, heck, you make my world

  13. 14

    Haha! You will always have poop on your list :) ps so funny, a few months ago I googled how long to make folder over elastic hair ties and your blog was 1st!

  14. 15

    I. LOVE. YOU. I love your attitude towards these ridiculous comments, I love your sarcasm, I wish I lived somewhere even close to California so that I could meet you and take you and Boo Hack out to lunch and maybe even gain some of your optimism. I want you to teach me to be a better mom, and a better crafter, and how to go out on a limb and start a business that I adore instead of being stuck in a profession I hate. I just love you. You inspire me. I read your blog every day. I often have to remind myself that I’m checking the blog too early, that you’re probably not even awake yet because of the time zone difference. I am not a creeper, or a stalker, and I hope I didn’t freak you out, but sistah, don’t ever stop doing what you do! Thank you so much for this blog!
    XOXO Lindsay W.

  15. 16

    Seriously laughing out loud. Hope I don’t wake the family up! Thanks I needed that.

  16. 17

    Haha! Love this! It’s not easy to get negative comments, but you seem to not only take them in stride, but also recognize when the comments are absolutely ridiculous. Like the person who complained about the fact that you filmed Boo’s acts of kindness and that it killed the magic. In my opinion…au contraire! That video touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes, and I feel that because by posting it, you shared a little act of kindness to us – to the world. That was so inspiring and you made the world a better place with it. So thank you!

  17. 18

    I agree with Sarah – the kindness video made my week. It reminded me there is good in the world, and also reminded me to add to that good and that I can make a difference. People are weird.

  18. 19

    totally new here
    found you from artful blogging
    and i have to tell you
    you are hilarious!!
    thank you for making me smile
    : )
    sherry

  19. 20

    I love it! I guess you have to have thick-skin to author a blog, huh? Thank you for posting these…great laugh…!!! People are funny, and weird ;) I LOVE your responses!! We could totally be BFF’s, you crack me up ;) Have a GREAT weekend!

  20. 21
    Lee Wolfe says:

    So someone said they “Find you Cute”? What’s wrong with that? I’m sure they didn’t say the other thing everyone was thinking, you’re way to nice! :)

  21. 22
    Cynthia says:

    Wow, people need a life. I can not believe some of the comments people leave. They really need to Choose Joy. They should put all of their enegry into being happy/positive instead of writing mean things. I love your blog, you are very inspiring! God Bless you, Boo, Mr. LBB and of course Diesel :)

  22. 23
    Susan McDonough says:

    The Random Acts of Kindness video was so inspiring. I watched it at least three times. Seeing it motivated me to do this with my kids. You’re spreading love!

  23. 24

    I love your blog. I can’t believe people write that awful stuff! I do love that you post about it. I hope that they still follow enough to see that you laugh at them.

  24. 25

    This post is hilarious!

  25. 26
    Katie Hughes says:

    You are one in a million! Thanks for the laugh! xo

  26. 27
    Kristin says:

    These email posts are always brilliant! We live in a strange world.
    PS I also really LOVE the inappropriate Elf on the Shelf. :)

  27. 28
    Leah :) says:

    I cannot believe so many people have the audacity to post such negative comments on a blog they CHOOSE to read!!?! If they are that fired up, simply close the website, right!?! Don’t listen to any of them, Ashley! You rock!! And have helped me tremendously during a very rough and scary year of my life! Keep doing what you do because you have Definately found your calling! :)

  28. 29
    Heather says:

    You are a STAR! Please don’t give negative comments a second thought… Except to post a witty and funny comeback. Cheers!

  29. 30

    People google “Liz Fart” for my blog. Or…google refers them to my site when people google “Liz Fart”. Whichever. Either way, it cracks me up!

  30. 31

    the hair: funny. i got a lot of the same comments when i got a pixie style haircut years back. my husband says he will leave me if i ever go that short again. i am pretty sure he is joking…

  31. 32

    oh ma goodness!!! i am dying over here!!!! you really should submit your beiber look a like. i mean- dead ringer!!! hahaha love these, a lot!

  32. 33

    This is awesome. I found your blog today looking for some sewing project then somehow found your Doll Salon party thing, then read your About page then cried a bucket of tears. All within the first 2 hours of Monday work. While there’s some crisis going on here that I probably should be responding to.
    Thank you. I promptly gtalked my husband and said, “Let’s choose Joy”. We are blessed with 6 healthy children. Chaotic house with our lovely dog in the mix. You are my hero.

  33. 34

    … corpses? Lol. Made me laugh.

  34. 35

    what a wonderful site! although I am not a mother looking for creative ideas, i love your ‘joie de vivre’, your positive attitude and your generous sense of humor. If you are ever in Frankfurt, Germany, let me know; I would love to buy you lunch and meet you in person. You are real, right? Not an online persona.