On the way to Trader Joe’s tonight Boo dragged me into a hobby shop…..
1st thought: Mr. LBB would love one of these…..
2nd thought: Who am I kidding, I would love one of these…..
Me: I’ll buy you one of these rubber band guns….if you promise not to shoot the dog with it.
Boo: I don’t think I should get one….I think I would shoot the dog.
I love her honesty.
I’m guessing this Gatling-rapid-fire version might be too much temptation for her then. It shoots 192 rubber bands a minute. Diesel would be the last samurai. [Read more…]
Me: Awww. Is that you and Daddy?
Boo: No. It’s just me and Hancock…
…hanging out under a rainbow.
Boo rarely responds to her name….especially if she is watching TV. She has selective hearing…..so now to get her attention, instead of calling her name I yell out:
LOOK OUT!!! FALLING BATMAN!!!
Then there’s an immediate “What did you say Mom?”
And then I respond:
Could you take your dish over to the sink please? Thanks!
Boo’s Fashion Tip of the Day: Tool belts compliment dresses
(because you never know when you might need a plastic wrench….at church)
Tonight Mr. LBB and I took Boo to a movie……for the first time. No, our kid isn’t deprived….she’s been to the movies a gazillion times….just with her grandparents. I would just rather watch movies at home. 1. it’s inexpensive and 2. there’s a pause button (I missed the Twilight engagement scene in the movie theater because I had to go to the bathroom!)
We saw Brave. Halfway through:
Boo: I can’t fall asleep Mommy.
Me: Maybe because we’re in a movie theater?
It was a little scary in parts for a young kid I think. We covered Boo’s eyes a few times. But I loved the message…..and was totally entertained.
Now I can’t stop talking in an Scottish accent: I shall tell you of William Wallace…
….and just found a piece of popcorn in my bra.
…..or maybe more of a reality TV stalker….
On the road this weekend I found a random Walmart to get some supplies for the conference I was speaking at. As I was checking out, the guy behind me started putting his items on the conveyor belt and we made eye contact.
Me: I know you….
Him: No you don’t…
Me: Yes I do. You are on that auction show…..
Cashier: Who is he?
Me: He’s The Gambler from that auction show.
Him: Storage Wars.
Me: YES! My husband and I LOVE that show!
Then he said jokingly: It’s only the #1 show on cable.
Handing him a Choose Joy bracelet I said “so nice to meet you! I’m sure you get that all the time and it gets old.”
Him: It doesn’t get old.
I left…..trying to act normal….as though I run into reality TV stars multiple times a day. I got to my car and opened the door as slow as I could….maybe he’d be parked in my row? What’s taking them so long to check out!? No sighting. So finally I drove off.
Then I had a fight with myself:
You are so lame.
The #1 show on cable and you couldn’t just ask for a quick photo?
Is it the #1 show? Oh who really cares, he’s still famous!
Maybe you need medication.
You had him cornered…..he already put his items on the belt.
Why are you shaking!!!!?
You were supposed to meet him….why else would he have picked that checkout lane!?
This isn’t the movie Serendipity.
Back on the main road, I made a u-turn…..and pulled back in the parking lot. It just so happened that he and his wife were just walking out the door to the parking lot right as I drove up. I stopped the car and asked: at the risk of sounding like a crazy stalker (translation: I AM a crazy stalker), can I get a photo with you? He was so nice. I was overly apologetic. His wife kept walking with their cart….I don’t blame her. Then I told him “I know we were supposed to meet, so I came back.” (Ugh….that’s all you could think of? Lamer than lame.)
Holding up a traffic jam of about 15 cars, I panicked about how I was going to get a good photo. One car decided to pull around me and the passenger leaned out the window and yelled “LOVE your show!” I gave her my iPhone and asked her to snap a pic……I didn’t think it would be appropriate to whip out the big professional Canon from my bag.
The woman didn’t know how to use an iPhone…..a quick lesson ensued.
Never been so relieved to hear that sound.
So here’s the photo: Me and Darrell Sheets, aka “The Gambler”, from Storage Wars:
Here are a few excerpts from emails I’ve saved over the last few years of some doozies that pretty much made my day. A few even came from the same email address. Unfortunately my email folder labeled “Crazy People” was lost when my hard drive crashed so I lost the best of the best……so these will have to do. Names have been removed to protect the innocent. Enjoy!
“It has come to my attention that you have your laptop while on vacation……for you to say you don’t have access to a computer is dishonest.”
Caught me….although, at the time I replied, I did happen to be on the beach.
“This [tutorial] is lame.”
And thank you for taking the time to let me know.
“You aren’t by chance going through my Twitter followers and trying to pick up fans are you?”
I wish. I could use some more Twitter followers.
“I’ve sent you several emails and still haven’t heard back from you. I think it’s pretty rude that you couldn’t take a few minutes out of your day to respond to my question.”
I’m so sorry. I was in the hospital. No really, I was!
“Letting your daughter sell beer? You just lost a follower.”
“I don’t get Lil Blue Boo…..or her scary little dolls.”
I don’t get this comment.
“Nice candy dress you made your daughter. I’m sure the Willy Wonka Candy Company would love to know that you are using their copyrighted image. Don’t worry….I emailed them for you.”
Should I lawyer up?
“I went through all of your past eBay purchases and saw that you purchased NEW shirts for those dresses.”
This sounds a bit stalkerish.
“My wife is forcing me to send this. Please count this as an entry into the giveaway.”
A new fan!
Photobomb – An otherwise normal photo that has been ruined or spoiled by someone who was not supposed to be in the photograph.
I photobombed Lisa this morning. She was trying to take a new profile picture for Facebook. She ended up using the photo anyways.
Turns out there is an entire world of photobombing I never knew about. Here are a few sites:
And now….I’m going to “LICEBOMB” this post…….
True story from this morning:
If you want to be seen quickly in an overcrowded office use the following tactic:
1. Pretend to get a phone call.
2. Repeat the following loudly into the phone: Whaaaaat?! You think she has lice?
3. Hang up phone.
4. Start scratching head uncontrollably.
You’ll be ushered to the front of the line and no one will object.
Bet you feel itchy now too, right?
It worked at the doctor’s office today. Although it wasn’t a pretend conversation. I was there for my weekly blood draw and it was super busy. I ended up getting out of there quicker than any other patient. Good news….it turns out Boo does NOT have lice…..but she does have a bad case of dry scalp. The school had me take her to the doctor’s office to get a note though just to be sure:
In case Boo ever DOES get lice the nurse gave me a natural remedy:
3 tablespoons baby shampoo
3 tablespoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon of tea tree oil
1 teaspoon of eucalyptus oil
Leave on the hair for 1/2 hour.
I’ll cross my fingers for now.
P.S. I managed to create a post about photobombing, today’s doctor visit AND a natural lice remedy. All-in-one. Can I get a high five?
P.S. Elaine’s blog is the first thing I read every morning….I would read it at night but I go to bed too early. Make sure to check out her story. There is so much to be thankful for.