A little inspiration for today…..
A little inspiration for today…..
Back around 2001, I started interviewing my grandfather. I’d show him photos….and then ask him about them….and then I’d frantically write everything down. I videotaped him a few times when I felt Iike I couldn’t keep up. Once, I asked him to sketch out the floor plan of his old family farm and I asked him questions about each of the rooms:
It’s amazing the detail you can get just from asking a few questions……
In college I went 4 months straight eating a mixture of 1 part plain yogurt with 1 part Grapenuts cereal. And it had to be the right ratio. And the Grapenuts had to be added periodically because I have a standard of deviation for sogginess. After 4 months I never ate it again. Ever. I eat other cereals though and I still pay attention to sogginess. I’ll pour a bowl of milk and then add a few Apple Jacks at a time. I’m such a creature of habit. Excess habit. That’s a nicer way of saying OCD. If I find something I like I’ll eat it over and over and over until one day something new comes along.
One thing that I will never eat willfully: plain sandwich bread. I’m not talking about dinner bread…..I’m talking like a loaf of sandwich bread. Unless it’s covered in peanut butter and jelly. But now I can’t eat peanut butter because my mom says it’s full of bacteria. Yesterday the refrigerator was down to a bare minimum and I was so desperate that I ate some Soybutter. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It only took me 2 years to try it. (This is why I can’t make Boo try stuff she insists she doesn’t like…..because I won’t.) Oh yeah, back to the sandwich bread…..just the smell of it makes me nauseous. It smells like fish bait to me. Probably because when I was little we used to ball up little pieces of sandwich bread to catch fish. It reminds me of ducks too…..for the same reason. Not that we tried to catch ducks with hooks. Who would want to catch a duck? And in conclusion, the bread also reminds me of investment banking because everyone knows that if you split a loaf of bread apart you can sell the slices for more than the entire loaf but you have to factor in the costs of separation too.
When my friend Gussy asked me to be a part of her “What’s in your bag?” series I was so excited to show off my perfect purse life:
Ok, maybe I didn’t really “LIE” but I might have left a few things out. Actually, I did lie about the house key. We don’t have any house keys. We lost them all….so we have combination keypads now. Those were Lisa’s keys in the photo. Now let me break out the “SAW III” font for this next image……
*Just a note: Boo’s “fine china” isn’t always itchy. I don’t want her to be embarrassed later in life about this. When it’s 115 degrees here in the desert sometimes she gets a rash. I carry it with me so I’m not caught without it.
At school for a while she would be itchy at nap and wouldn’t tell the teacher how bad it was…..so I decided to call the school and mention it each afternoon so they’d ask her.
The first time I called, the woman who answers the phone yelled loud enough for the entire desert to pick up on: “WHO has a YEAST infection?”
My first reaction was all gangsta: “ME biaaaatchhh. I’m calling JUST to let you know that I have a yeast infection. What’s UP.”
Oh, I imagined that first reaction….nevermind, what I actually said was:
“Boo does…..could you just discretely check with her to see if I should pick her up? Thanks!”
Geez….I can never stay on track. This was supposed to just be a post about my friend Gussy’s awesome market tote.…but of course I had to go on a tangent. And now this post includes itchy fine china, rubber chickens, the movie SAW III, menopause, leaky pens, and yeast infections. I’m SO sorry!
I was totally prepared this morning…..there was going to be no wonky bra on today’s CT scans. I wore a sports bra top….you know, just in case I felt like doing some yoga while I drank my barium sulfate.
I hope the radiologist notices when he does the comparisons of past scans: oh look, finally…she got rid of the wonky underwire. Because I’m pretty sure they pay attention to those kind of things, right?
My CT scan got scheduled pronto and Dr. L asked them to call him with the results so we can meet again late this afternoon. That. is. efficient.
This was my breakfast. They usually let me drink the Crystal Light version…..I was not happy about this. I am a very competitive drinker and I knew this was not going to go down as fast as the “jungle juice” version.
Then I got home and wolfed down some chicken nuggets…..and I had BBQ sauce packets leftover from my last trip to Chic-Fil-A…..score. The day is getting better and better!
Me: I think something’s growing back in my hip. Look how this side is bigger than this one.
Lisa: It’s probably just fat.
Me: Well, scans are scheduled for Thursday morning.
Lisa: If it turns out that it’s just fat do I get a cookie?
Maybe it IS just fat. I ruled out constipation by increasing my intake of Miralax all last week. It could be just scar tissue too. Or maybe it’s my ovaries trying to come back to life. The possibilities are endless! I’ll let you know when I know. I’ll let you know if Lisa gets that cookie.
Happy Thursday/Monday-ish day!
I wrote over at Hey Look at Me today if you get a chance to check it out.
Oh, I ran into an old friend at the imaging center: Hi Scott! You’re the greatest friend ever for always taking Mr. T to his appointments.
You all crack me up. I loved all your comments from yesterday on the Email Love post.
A few of my favorites:
Melissa: Ok, If I have to be the first one to be negative, so be it. This is out of control…how do you expect the chickens of the world to be individuals with their OWN needs and desires if they are ALL CALLED LISA???????
Meghan: I love the saying: Dear haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at. Just be patient.
Pamela: I don’t have any chickens, but I will name the next egg I cook after you…. and lisa if it’s a two egg omelet.
And how ironic that everyone is on pins and needles for my inbox to fill up with complaints and insults. That made me laugh out loud a few times.
It annoys me that so many of you get hater mail too. Just forward them on to me. It’s like Christmas. Don’t let them get to you…..maybe the person on the other end is just having a really bad day:
If you get more than one from the same person, then you can start a “cuckoo” folder. I have a few of those. I heart them. They must read my blog several times a day so they are actually being kind of supportive, right?
P.S. I encourage you to take this “How to tell if you are a Troll” quiz over at the Bloggess. (eff word alert) I love her (in kind of a creepy stalker way)…..and her book is hysterical. I could never be an Internet troll…..I’m too lazy….and can never get my comments to post…..because I can never remember my passwords.
P.P.S. And I’m seriously contemplating the next dress being “Beer Delivery Girl”….
I’m a little obsessed with abandoned places. I even have a Pinterest board dedicated to it. If I see an old abandoned house in the middle of nowhere all I want to do is stop and look around.
Last night Boo told me the story of Pompeii. I’m just warning you…..it’s a depressing story. I guess she learned it at school. I know I can’t technically call Pompeii “abandoned” since the reason no one is there is because they all died tragically, but close enough. I had to write down every word of Boo’s version:
When the volcano exploded, their roofs came off.
They didn’t have carpets….so they had to paint the floors.
They didn’t have any beds.
They had to lay on the ground with no blankets and they were cold….forever.
There was no sun. And no sky. Just dirt for the sky.
Even girls lived at Pompeii.
About 100 girls and 100 boys died.
Pompeii is a really sad place.
I wish no one lived at Pompeii.
It was like she wrote a poem about Pompeii. At the end she started crying. And then I started crying.
A few of my favorite “abandoned” sites:
Amazing photos of ruins and abandoned eery places
I found this site about 10 years ago after hearing about it on public radio: she rode her motorcycle through Chernobyl.
An abandoned but perfectly preserved Japanese school.
Documenting historic abandoned places. Creepy and cool.
Update 1: Reader Trish sent me this link of photos she took from an abandoned house in Michigan….who leaves a casserole in the oven! Were they abducted by aliens? This gives me anxiety.
Update 2: I asked Boo how they found the people of Pompeii if they were all buried under ash. She replied (in a tone that made me feel inferior for asking): they used calculations.
Update 3: The Ruins of Detroit. Thanks Carrie for sending this along.
Wear your frog prince dress……
Her grandparents are picking her up to take her to the movie this morning. The dress is a hit and so are all the frogs we made. Nothing makes me more happy than to see her excitement about handmade things.
The frog is actually a font by Pixel Farms. I love all their little creatures. I redrew the frog to make his mouth smaller and added toes and a crown.
You can make the frog prince yourself if you want. I use the screenprinting kit from Dharma Trading. See my screenprinting 101 tutorial here. I’ve attached the edited graphic from my previous post below. Just make sure to link back if you use it. Thanks!