….for some awesome horticulture shots in this post. And donuts. And Tostitos. And bee pollen. Etc.
I could hang out in the waiting room of Dr. L’s office all day. The average age is about 70 years and I meet kindred spirits. As soon as I sat down this morning a sweet woman says to her friends: look how this one just sprouted up. I laughed and told her:
Me: Yep, I never stopped growing….I’m like a giraffe. If you need anything up high just let me know.
Woman: I can sense when people are friendly…..I knew you would be.
Me: I’m in a extra good mood today now that I got a seat by you.
Woman: Can I see the color of your hair under that cap?
Me (laughing): I don’t have any hair under my cap. (I show her my head….and the entire room looks.)
Woman: Oh it looks so nice. It must have been hard though.
Me: Not really, and I found out I had some secrets under my hair….a birthmark and a scar.
Woman: Oh! That’s so fun…..and mysterious! It’s a secret you’ve been keeping your whole life!
Me: Maybe I’ll get a tattoo on my head before the hair grows back. That would rock.
Woman: Oh no dear…..no tattoos, please.
I got my Neulasta shot. I walked right in and said “shoot me in the stomach”……no hesitation. It really wasn’t a big deal last time……so I figured I’d be really brave. Awww….the Neulasta shot is a cute little shot…..pretty, blue and looks like it would want to say “I want to be a big shot, but I’m just a wee little shot.”
My father-in-law called this morning and said that he had seen my HCG numbers. They went up last week to 78…..and stayed the same this week. Do. Not. Like. My scan next Tuesday will hopefully hold the secret. Maybe there’s not enough vascular activity where the tumor is growing back in my pelvis (don’t I sound like a doctor? that came from my father-in-law)…..not enough blood supply to bring the toxic chemotherapy to the cancer cells. Dear tumor: just STAY away from my bladder and colon okay? I’m really squeamish about catheter type thingys…..I’ll faint even thinking about it any longer.
VERY IMPORTANT: Before my scan next week I need to buy a new bra. I don’t have to take it off for my CT scans…..and in the last scan I wore my favorite bra with the wire all wonky. It was a push-up…..so my boobs looked all wonky in the 3-D image too. As we were talking to the radiologist all I could think was how embarrassed I was……wonky bra, wonky boobs…..cancer? what cancer? He probably thinks I can’t afford a new bra. In the scan you could see the wire loud and clear all twisted and crazy looking. I actually wear my clothes and my boots in the machine…..it must be super powerful….which means I’m getting nucleared even more. It’s never a good sign when the technicians lock huge vault-like doors behind them and pull the shades to go push a button. Just great.
On my way home from the doctor my friend Megan texted me to remind me about the Farmer’s Market on Wednesdays…..so I stopped by. I only had $17 in cash….so I had to budget.
I bought some local bee pollen….that took $10:
When I got back from the farmer’s market I stole some oranges from my neighbors house. I actually sent her a text first. Her reply was “take them all! all I eat is double stuff Oreos.” Her dogs thought I was stealing though.
Lisa’s first day back from vacation…..and I make her drink her first glass of freshly squeezed juice. I don’t think she liked it that much. She said it bordered on workplace harassment. Then she complained that she felt like she was going to have to poop at work. Oh please, be GLAD you can poop Lisa! I’m praying for poop! Reminds me of a Google search recently that brought someone randomly to my blog: girls who poop at work. I hope they found what they were looking for. Lisa, was that YOUR Google search?
Don’t worry….I haven’t gone on nutritional overload…..I had a donut for breakfast. My friends Todd and Jodi brought some by. Jodi was still in her pjs.
I only slept for a few hours last night. The Decadron made me nocturnal. I made steamed broccoli at midnight and got some work done. I’m hoping maybe I’ll be able to nap. First, I’ll eat some Tostitos dipped in sour cream in bed…..and most likely completely reverse the juicing effects. Sorry Brett if I leave any crumbs.
Megan & Jason says
Ash, I will have to say you look pretty fierce with that beet in your hand. Have you met my friend Vicki?!? She’s the juicing queen (currently you’re second in line to the throne…) Every time she posts a juice recipe I think think of you. Ash, meet Vic, Vic meet Ash. Let the juicing commence. I forgot to mention the other day, too, that I loved Boo’s Keedy’s dress. Girl after my own heart!
What do you use to take your pictures? They look great!
Instagram on the iPhone 🙂
How do you get your instagram photos to your blog?
Hi there! I’ve been following your blog for probably a year now and your sweet personality always brings a smile to my face. 🙂 I hate hate hate that you have cancer but I just love your positive attitude through it all.
Oh and I need to try your juice recipe. We make a lot of fruit/spinach smoothies in our house but I’ve never ventured into other veggies.
Love the bald look!
You’re doing so great with all of this. I don’t even know you and I’m proud!
another post of your, and another chance to remind myself what life is all about- JOY!
Thank you Ash for your posts, your wisdom, and your amazing view towards life and the curveballs we are al l thrown.
This is the first time I have ever posted to you, but I read every single blog you do. I just want you to know what an inspiration you are to me. I am amazed at how awesome your attitude is during what could be the worst days of your life, and would totally be understandable. I strive to have your every day attitude 🙂 You are in my prayers daily and I look forward to reading all your posts!!
PS. The flowers blooming are beautiful, here in KY, everything is brown and dead 🙁 Patiently waiting spring time. Take care of your beautiful self…..
Good luck on that bra shopping……hard to find a good one…if there is such a thing! Take care and enjoy the donuts and was them down with the juice, sounds like a plan to me! Thinking of you daily.
I just love you! I’m a hugy type person so here is a big squeeze!!
amy c says
You didn’t take a breath while you typed that, did you? Hahaha
We are Juicer buddies. I have the same one. I don’t use it enough, it was kind of an impulse buy.
I’m mad at your tumor for not shrinking, and at your numbers for not dropping. Will be watching for the results of you & your new bras scans and keeping all the LBBs in my bedtime prayers!
Your posts make me laugh and cry…I don’t know how, but even with the nasty cancer part of this, you’re funny. I wish I knew you in person. Actually, you’re just the type of person a lot of people need to have around them.
I was praying that you’d find some wonderful conversation today!!!! The people you see during this sad and difficult journey are surely going to wonder where your joy is from. 🙂 Big grin!!!!!
Lil Miss Red T-Shirt says
Now, THAT’S what I call a friend.. I want friends who bring me donuts.
Sorry your levels went up… what goes up must come down? Hopefully all the meds work well and soon.
That juice looks… vile… I mean, delicious. 🙂 Ever try orange julius? Not quite as healthy, but amazing. I’ve got to find me a farmers market… never been to one… and they look like fun.
Amanda @RusticRemnants says
Boo to the numbers, but glad you got your donut. 🙂
I laughed so hard i choked at the girls who poop at work google search. I hear most women would rather almost poop their pants on the drive home rather than go at work. Hahaha!
Kitty Schaefer says
Hey lady another great blog day, I can’t tell you how I look forward to your joyful words everyday. You keep drinking your juice and eating your donuts love it 🙂
Checked my blog stats the other day. My most viewed blog was about catheters! I had one in for 5 days after my spine op. I wore it on my arm like the latest designer hand bag. It really was not bad at all having the catheter. It was great to not have to get up in the night.
Karyn G. says
I have the same vent above my stove! Xoxoxo 🙂
Your posts always make me laugh. 🙂 I have been searching for a farmers market in my area… I’ll have to put that on my “to-do” list this weekend. Glad you got your donuts! 😀
Let me just say “You are one in a million” I’ve followed you blog and fan page for some time, because of your beautiful creations and designs ideas. Now I am stuck on all of your daily blogs and updates, even though I wish it wasnt about cancer, it all seemed too familiar to me. I had ot go thru similar process with my lovely mom.
“You are one in a million” to be in such a great mood, spirit and have all that extra energry, while going thru something so hard. I pray for you and your family and hope that all of these treatments, scans, pokes and doctors check-ups will just fade and became a memory. I pray that you’ll be blesesd and cured. Never change. I only hope I would have a personally like yours.
May God Bless you and your family (gorgeous daughter)
Liisa Sanchez says
I am British, and I commend you on your wonderful use of ‘bollocks’. I use it all the time, cos here in the South most no one knows what I am talking about….I am making you an honorary British lass,so keep keeping that chin up….big hugs
Meagan Briggs says
Ohhhhhmy goshhhhhhh you made me laugh so hard. Hahahaha every 3 seconds I swear I was laughing out loud. My daughter kept saying, what mama??? Hahaha you seem like in such a good mood today! Which isnt a new new thing, but you’re extra perky.
So funny…wonky boobs. I’m going to say that more often 🙂 choose joy, wonky boobs. Haha
All I can say right now is that I adore you!
Amy Cornwell says
Your comments about poop made me laugh out loud. thanks for all of the info about your juicing experiences, I want a juicer so bad. I’m sorry to hear about your levels, I’ll be praying that they go down, down, down!
Claire T says
Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. You are beyond inspiring!
Girl, have you tried the biofit from Victoria’s Secret? Heaven for your boobs! Seriously. They always seems to make me take my bra off for my CT scans. Boo to that.
You are making me crave copious amounts of juice and donuts…I’m not complaining! 😉
Jennifer Erwin says
Have you listened to/read any of Caroline Myss’s books? I have been reading/listening to her work for about 5 or 6 years and this year I went to 5 of her seminars.. going to another one next week.. Energy Anatomy is really good.. Defy Gravity too.. Anatomy of the Spirit too..
Love to you old friend.
so what exactly do you do w/ bee pollen… are you going to start helping the bees to pollinate your pink and purple beauties in your back yard?
I was wondering the same! At first my brain thought “sure, it’s like honey…” but then: “wait, it’s not”.
I am new to the photography world and discovered your blog via via via via!
I can tell from just reading the first few articles in your blog, that you are truly a remarkable human being! Keep choosing joy. It’s working 🙂
Thank you for providing an overdose of inspiration to me today.
I don’t know why, but I have to read your posts super fast, the way a little girl would talk like in the movie Despicable Me. Not calling you a little girl, that’s just how it happens in my head. Just sayin’. Love your stuff 🙂
This post had me laughing out loud!!!!! Especially the pooping part…ohhhh girl….I used to tell my hubs that pooping while on chemo is like being a bunny rabbit….sooo annoying!! I’m excited for you to get better and have a nice #2!! Hahaha sorry kinda graphic! Get a cute sports bra for your next scan…no under wire to distract you and the boobies stay in place when you lay down!! 🙂 I admire your healthy eating…I ate like sh*t…frostiness and French fries!!!
I love your posts…stay good girl ((hug))
Michelle Meehan says
Now I want a juicer! You make it all look so yummy!
I’m glad it sounds like you had a good day. Positive thoughts being sent to you!
Melanie G says
are those bougainvillea blooming in the last 2 photo? so pretty! living here in the midwest, i’m pretty jealous of your blooming flowers, and your fruit trees!
I love the big “WIN” on the tostitos bag, its a sign 🙂
Heather G. says
BOOOOOOOO on the HCGs not moving. Boooooo!!
And, I’m sorry Lisa had to poop at work. Haha!
Heather G. says
PS – how do you get frames on your instagrams?
PPS – I want to follow you on IG!
Next to pinterest your blog is my new addiction. I am inspired and amused by you. You are a gifted writer. You are a role model and changing my thinking about not being afraid over the “what if’s” in my life. Keep on keepin’ on!
Love your print in the background…eat more vegetables….you take your sign very seriously….
I just had to comment of your excellent use of “bollocks”. Not something I normally come across when blog reading, and I did a double take before reading the rest of the sentence!! I might be biased, but we British do have the best expletives! 😀 Loved the giraffe comment, I always get similar comments to me about my height!
I haven’t commented in a while, so I’ll take opportunity now to say, your head looks beautiful! I can totally imagine you with a cute pixie hair-do when it comes back!
Thinking of you and hoping for a speedy recovery. xx
I love reading your blog! You are such an inspiration! Praying for a good scan Tuesday.
There’s an entire website devoted to pooping mishaps… poopreport.com
Yes, I’m serious. Yes, I’m too embarrassed to put my name up there.
Meghan Jensen says
Hahaha, you shouldn’t be embaressed with this crowd. We’re all heading over to check em out! 🙂
Ashley you crack me up! Seriously! I mean most times we write LOL and we just mean ha ha but today – belly laugh! And I’m trying to mult-task by catching up on my e-mails / blog reading AND walk on the treadmill – I almost fell off! Praying for better numbers next week! Our God performs miracles every day!
Ashley, they this link for some great juicing recipes:
Maybe you’d even like to watch the documentary. We loved it and got very inspired. Some great info on nutrition and juicing. They say add fresh ginger into every juice (if you can stand the taste) – it’s the super-power-house of nutrients and apparently has magic healing powers.
Have fun juicing … even my 4 year old and 7 year old like the fruit combinations (I sneaked in carrots and kale sometimes).
Best wishes. LOVE your blog!!!
Your yard looks beautiful. It is 10 degrees here and snowy! I can only pray to be as positive as you during a trial like yours in my life. My sister has had cancer twice and has since adopted 2 beauitful girls from China. I am praying for you daily! God is so much bigger than cancer!
Beth Morrow says
Well, well,well…what’s in a number! Don’t let those numbers get you down…God is bigger than the number! Keep juicing, juicing, juicing and keep that beautiful attitude of yours! You have people praying for you around the world!ll.
Jerimiah 30:17… for I will restore health to you and I will heal you of your wounds, saify the Lord. This is a scripture that the Lord gave Dottie Olsten when she was battling Stage 4 breast cancer…Dottie is Joel Olsten’s mother and is alive and well today and cancer free…HE is not a respecter of people…what He did for Dottie- He will do for you!
Love ya girl,
Praying for sweet sleep tonight and hopefully neither you or I will be up after 1:30am and if you are …well, I’ll make you some broccoli or would if I could!
Janice Varvel says
You are a real inspiration! Thank you for sharing your experiences and may the power of prayers from all your followers help you through this “bump” in the road of life.
http://www.allwhiteseggwhites.com and look under recipes and there is a list of smoothies. I drink a couple of them at least weekly for a meal-Mango/Peach and the Triple Berry are favorites. Lots of protein and they are “clean”.
Your posts make me so happy! Your positive attitude is totally contagious. I can’t believe you have flowers, fruit trees and farmers markets on your blog right now. It’s about -20 degree fahrenheit here, even seeing pictures of flowers and fruit on trees makes me happy. Keep up the good work. 🙂
ok girl, you make me laugh and make me cry. my husband has come in to the bedroom at night and i am reading your blog and crying. it is a HUGE deal because i never cry. “what is wrong!!!!!!!!!” he asks. and i tell him, ” i have never met this wonderful woman, she is a young vibrant mom and creator and has cancer. F&%king Cancer!!!! i hate cancer!!!! but she is a warrior with an unbelievable spirit and perseverance. there are days i wished you lived down the street so i could help you out if you needed it. i would not drink those drinks that make you poop, but i would eat tostitos and sour cream (one of my faves btw) and donuts with you for sure. you will continue to be in my prayers. will especially be praying for you tuesday!
sorry for my expletive!
Ashley, It was so good to read your updates today. I wanted to share this with you. There was one week where my number stalled….it hadn’t budged from the week before. Nothing…..not even one number. I was completely confused how I could have gone through 5 days of iv chemo….and nothing. Why didn’t it do anything? Why?? I called my nurse in tears…..and she assured me they saw this a lot with molar pregnancy treatments. She told me something about how the chemo I had gotten the week prior….actually hadn’t had a chance to do its job yet…but it was doing its job, that it would kick in next week……it was hard to understand, but it made sense and I held onto that hope that it would kick in that next week.,….the positive thing was that my number did not go up…so that meant the chemo was indeed doing its job and now allowing things to keep growing. And sure enough……my next blood draw I hit negative. Your number did not go up! That is a great thing!!! You are doing great! xo
I tell people about you every day so a lot of your new followers probably come from me! Just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you. Keep choosing joy!
April B says
Just found your blog. I love your transparency-I wish everyone, including me, was more like you. 🙂
Victoria’s Secret is having their Semi-Annual sale on-line. It ends today though. I bought a darling bra for $14.99, which makes is even better!
Thanks for all the inspiring posts. I wish I could give you half the energy you are sharing with all of us. I’m still throwing some ‘girl power’ your way though.
God Bless you and your family.
Leigh Anne says
A great post full of inspiration and laughs! Keep the faith! Hugs from Texas!
Kristen B says
Ashley you inspire me every single day to CHOOSE JOY and I can’t thank you enough for that. Where did you get the “Be thankful …Choose Veggies…Hike…etc” print behind you in the kitchen? I have been looking for family rules for our home for quite some time and this seems to really encompass them for me!
faith wafford says
Have you tried Coconut Milk or Coconut Life Water (I’ve actually been craving the water) Have only found it at Target? It’s really good, needs to be super cold though, the milk not the water.
Wonky? Love it! I’m so glad I’m not the only person that makes up words. Mine is snarky…
I am so sorry about your numbers but I just feel that they will better. You make me smile and are such a sweetheart. You keep up the faith and know God is with you all. You are such an inspiration to us all. I feel so much like Kim above. We all feel like we know you personally. Your personality is sooo much like mine that some things are just a little scarey. Ha Ha. NOT! I love our personality and I surely love you. I love the flowers. Are they bouganvilla’s and what state do you live in to have such gorgeous flowers. I am a flower nut too. Will be praying daily for you and your family and hope you get great results and good rest tonight. Keep your chin up.
Meghan Jensen says
I heart sour cream, drool drool! Try cottage cheese with Salt and Vinegar chips, you’ll thank me.
Mamma Rachel says
You are wonderful! I am always looking forward to your next post to hear how positive you are! Gods Blessings to you and yours!! ÷}
laura~eye candy event details says
you never cease to make me laugh . . .you had me at ‘wonky boobs’ but then ‘girls who poop at work?’ . . . you are so freakin hilarious! Love your spirit . . . not liking the numbers . . . .God will handle that . . . YOU just keep choosing JOY my friend!! =)
Be British! Being British is awesome and you can say bollocks as often as you like 😉
I posted my poem The Cross on my blog. I’d love for you to read it. Your post about the cross at the top of the hill made me think of it. My daughter and I are going to check out the Farmer’s Market after reading about your bee pollen. Thanks for all the information. I need to try to be healthier. Don’t we all?
I so laughed out loud reading this post. A great end to my crazy day, thanks for the laughs, your spirit is awesome.
Lisa M. says
Hi, I found you recently via Pinterest, my latest addiction.
I have been reading your blog for only a few days. Oh the memories. I am a breast cancer survivor. I was diagnosed about 3 years ago. Yes, I did chemo, radiation and lots of surgeries. So, the scans, the bra issues, all of that is so real to me.
As well, the juicing. OMG I forced myself to drink the nastiest combos LOL! but, here I am 3 years later, so I guess some combination of all of that worked 🙂
I kept a blog when I went thru treatment. I have looked at it here and there and honestly it seems like someone else wrote it. So, just wanted you to know that you will FORGET all of this craziness at some point LOL!
Also, just wanted to say you look BEAUTIFUL bald. I didn’t. I wore a pink hat or a scarf most of the time. Lastly, I had some sleep caps made by someone on Etsy. They were made of soft cotton like a baby sleep cap. You may want some of those.
Oh no I’m sorry about your HCG number – praying they figure that out! Gorgeous pictures of your small town desert, and now I desperately want to move there!!
You are my newest favorite blog that I have found. I feel like we are friends & I don’t even know you! By the way, you are totally rockin’ the bald head!!
During Christmas time I was searching for DIY gifts… and I found your blog. I put your blog on my fav and on my rss list immediately, but only after Christmas I started reading all of your posts…
In the beginning I thought “oh.. how can she be always so happy, lovely, full of love and joy for everything…impossible!” (read this with a squeaky voice.. 😉 ) I could not believe it, because we live in a crazy world, and your blog is a “happy island”, a cozy place, full of love and nice stuff.
But read on your posts I understand, how you can always be so “Pollyanna”-minded… your faith. I think sometimes I’m a little envious of who has faith, because in some situations, they “have a edge” on this…
and if your faith is not strong, you can’t create it…
I’m not so faithful, I have mine, little faith in something, but sometime neither I can explain what I mean…
Btw… I’m writing to you just to thank you, because every day I read your blog, and your strenght, your faith, your love for life it’s a encouragement for me, for my “catastrophic” everyday problems, or my simple everyday life…
I think you are an example to follow, maybe you have too your sad moments, but when I see your photos, your posts, you always put a smile on my face.. even if recently I seem a fountain 😉 (i.e. watching your shaving video… YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!)
So.. thank you for be here, for share with us your thoughts, your life, your fantasy, your love for life.
I don’t know you, but I think you are really Beautiful, both inside and outside.
p.s. I apologize for my english.. it’s quite ungrammatical 🙁 [I’m from Italy]
I didn’t realize about your kitchen… until you mentioned!!!
I guess I need to get a juicer. Thanks for the “advice”
Liz Hurst says
Amazing Brave Girl!!!
Love to you from Texas!
Kimberly Limer says
Ashely, you are hilarious!! I am a CT Technologist, and I never notice anyone’s bra…lol…but I am sure I would do the same thing as you, I would notice all of those little things and be embarrassed 🙂 To funny. From now on when I scan, I will probably be paying more attention now from your post. It is crazy the things that we see, like an 86 year old woman with breast implants, and people that you would never think to have “special” piercings. You can’t hide anything like that when you get a CT 🙂
I have been wanting to juice for a long time, and I think I might try. Thanks for the info about bee pollen, I had no idea that it helped with allergies, and all of the other great benefits.
Love your posts and your humor. Hope you have a great day!!!!!!
You had me rolling this morning…The bra, the boobs, the splenda, and deodorant…stinkin’ hilarious. You are a brave soul. God bless you!
Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now and this is my first time to comment. I look forward to your posts. I laugh, I cry. My husband thinks I’m a little nuts!! Thank you for sharing your experiences. You give me perspective to let some things go and courage to do more, be more. Thank you!!
The “girls who poop at work” search made me laugh so hard I cried. Spectacular.
K G Palmer says
Afternoon! What a neat lady to meet, I love people and interacting with them too – so fun and educational! I wanted to suggest something to get things moving down south (so to speak) When I had those issues I drank Ice Coffee. Let me elaborate. Coffee out of the pot, let is sit and cool off and then add Ice, like Ice Tea. I do not add anything else – no cream, sugar or flavors – it has worked for me & hope it does for you too!! Always awed & inspired by you – K
Bollocks! We’re Brits living in the US and just get such a kick of Americans saying, “Bollocks!”
Ashley – I’ve been an OR nurse for almost 30 years – WILL YOU PLEASE ASK ALL NURSES giving you INJECTIONS to PLEASE WEAR GLOVES !!!!! IT would not be pretty for you to get MRSA at an injection site or systemically – IT IS BAD !! And VERY POOR MEDICAL PRACTICE to do ANY procedure on a patient and not wear gloves !!!!!! ACHA nor OSHA would have an appreciation for this practice !!!
My husband has been juicing for awhile and I will share the constipation cure…Leeks…just open the windows and doors when you juice them and stand back they let off a bad peppery make your eyes water kind of thing….but trust me you will not have a problem in the bathroom for a day or two!!
Enjoy and if you are on facebook and who is not….look up juicing for health they have alot of great recipes and easy recipe book suggestions…good luck!! also if you have netflix they have a great documentary called Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead that is an easy and informational film about juicing…you can also look up there website for great recipes as well, I believe they also have a blog that people add recipes to all the time.
This post made me literally LOL. “Girls who poop at work.” I’m crying right now.
I should really start juicing. What does it taste like? Sometimes I try to make smoothies and I just can’t do it. :/
Lil Miss Red T-Shirt says
Have you ever tried V8 or Starfruit? I can never find Starfruit here anymore… that used to be my favorite fruit. Perfect for 5 o’clock drinks.
My roommates have been debating juices and classic medicine (if that’s the name?) and acupuncture and organic food. One of them suggested acupuncture and lots of deep breathing. The other suggested Shark Liver Oil and fish oil supplements. We feel like Dougie Houser, M.D.. reading your blog. And, they tell me they’ve never seen anyone drink as much milk as I do. 🙂
The juice looks really good. Your garden is lovely and I enjoy hearing of sunshine and open doors. It is very cold here and no sun for days. 🙁