I didn’t sleep that well last night…..I think I was antsy for today. I found myself eating pistachios on the couch at 3:00am and watching Superman. I think I fell asleep finally around 4:00am. Brett finally woke me up at 7:30am to start getting ready.
I was the first person in the doctor’s office today. Brett and I met with Dr. L about side effects and what to expect from the new chemotherapy regimen. He just kept stressing how hard this was going to be on my kidneys and that overly hydrating was going to be really important. EMA-EP is the treatment we ended up settling on. Today was the E & P portion. Cisplatin and VP-16. The EMA is next Thursday and Friday. Those are some BIG bags waiting on the IV stand:
I met a lot of interesting people. Like the guy who has to be fed through a feeding tube and he said he imagines a big ham sub going through the tube. I told him he needed scratch and sniff stickers to help. I don’t think he was too excited. I felt bad eating my lunch in front of him. There was an elderly man there that looked just like my Paw-Paw. It made me a little teary. He looked so frail and tired.
All of the sudden this afternoon, the entire room was asleep it seemed….except for me of course! I started feeling weaker and uncomfortable as the day went on. And full. And lots of heart palpitations.
They weren’t able to start my big Cisplatin drip until about 12:30pm because I had to get so many fluids beforehand as well as the nausea medication drips. The Cisplatin drip was 5 hours because it had to drip with an identical bag of fluids for hydration to make sure my kidneys would be flushed out. I also try to drink a ton of water so I made 4,291 trips to the bathroom. It got to the point that I wouldn’t even have opened the bathroom door to exit before I had to pee again. I wore a hole in the linoleum I think:
I wrote the beginning of this post while I was still at the doctor’s office. Now we are home and I’m not feeling so hot. Bear with me if this post is all over the place. I’m writing it in small increments at a time. My poor heart feels like it’s on overdrive.
Brett picked Sienna up from school before picking me up from the doctor. I was the last patient there. First one in this morning…..and last one out. I was getting a little competitive with the last man there to see who would leave first. His drip finished before me and he said he felt bad leaving me by myself. I told him they needed to upgrade the place to lounge chairs by the pool and cocktails and I’d be set.
Now I’m in bed…..I was so hungry I ate in bed….one small fork at a time….just laying on my side so it would stay down. My legs ache. I feel really crampy. And just too weak to get up. Boo was on the bed talking to me and it took several minutes for it to even register that she was talking to me. Brett brought my laptop to me so I could write all this down. He’s now trying to find my Zofran so I can keep my dinner down too. Dinner was really good…..I’d like to keep it. They gave me a diuretic shot right before I left the doctor…..so I have to pee every 5 minutes still…..and I’m supposed to keep hydrating so my kidney’s are okay. If we lived more that 5 miles from the doctor’s office I would have to pee on the side of the road. This was a powerful diuretic. Dr. L scared me into staying hydrated for the sake of my kidneys. It’s really not that bad though. At least I don’t have to do anything……I’ll just lay here and drift in and out of sleep and drink as much water as I can. I’d really love a shower….but I don’t have the energy. Who wants to volunteer to give me a sponge bath?
Dr. L said we are now “Rambo”-ing my body to try and kill this cancer. From now on, I’ll have no rest at all between chemotherapy until my body just can’t take it anymore and he’s forced to give me some time off. Works for me. Just kill the cancer.
I’ll reread this tomorrow in case I need to fix anything. Just be glad you are reading this online and not in person…Brett says I smell like fried bologna.
Sweet dreams Ashley. May you get some rest. Prayers for strength, that you will keep dinner down, and that you have energy to get a shower in the morning.
You are just amazing. I went to bed last night praying for you and I come back every day to keep up on your progress. God is faithful. Stay strong, honey. xoxo
mandi @ Vintage Revivals says
Love you Ash! You are amazing and I actually love the smell of fried bologna so if we met IRL I would totally give you a hug and a BIG OL’ SNIFF!
Love your guts
jillian d says
thoughts & prayers are with you. you are truly an inspiration. hope that you are able to get good rest tonight!
Rest girl, rest. Let that Cisplatin work. That is what I took too. Look, still here =) Yay. Good news, right?
If I lived close, I would be over cleaning your house and running every errand imaginable for you.
You are all in my thoughts and prayers!!!!
….and most importantly, that this new regimen kicks cancers butt!!! XO
Praying for you. It’s not some profound comment or words of wisdom, but it is the most powerful thing I know. Sweet dreams!
Hope you rest well (hard to do having to go the restroom all the time I know) oh and by the way I love fried bologna 🙂 lol
Sending you some energy! Hugs!
Big hugs Ashley and GO RAMBO! I am imaging the chemo blasting the hell out of those cancer cells.
Hey!!! I like fried bologna 🙂 <3
stephanie corfee says
oh my ashley…i can hear the tired. in your typing. in your words. and nothing quite so UNappetizing as water when you feel waterlogged already, so mad props to you for following doctors orders!! i am sad you are enduring this, but SO happy that Rambo has entered the building. Rambo will get it done….he’s RAMBO!! : ) xoxo
Kelly Gorney says
You are amazing. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
You are amazing. I think about you quite often and am praying for you. Much love!
You amaze me. Your strength is simply amazing. I wish I could give you a huge hug and so to the bathroom for you ever 5 mins so you could rest! Prayers for you to get some rest tonight! Much <3 from heart to yours.
“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” ~ Philippians 4:13
He will strengthen you Ashley! I pray you have a restful night.
Cindy Click says
Sweet dreams tonight. (Should have asked for a catheter tonight (people don’t understand why I don’t mind those. If your a person that pees alot, that means you don’t ever get a full nights sleep) At least you wouldn’t have to get up all night tonight. You are such an obedient patient. I don’t know why but when you said Rambo, The Rocky theme song came in my mind. I know why- I see you running at the top of the stairs with both hands in the air and a blue wig on when you kick cancer’s butt!!!
Hugs and prayers
Everytime I read your posts, part of me feels like it’s there with you, and I just want to yell and jump and whip some pom poms around for you, and yell at your cancer. Just scream at it to “Get out!” My best friend of 13 years passed when she was 24 of cervical cancer. I was in the Army, in Iraq. I never got to say goodbye. In my mind I screamed at her cancer too. I was so mad that Cancer chose her, a great mother and beautiful person. Then I saw how many lives she touched. How many people she brought together… Then I smile, because Cancer didn’t really win at all. *smiles*
Sending lots of LOVE!!! Rambo that cancer in the gut!!!
Ugh — I’m having flashbacks and I feel for you. I hope you can rest — between all the bathroom breaks and after effects. I can’t believe you’re the only one awake at chemo! Between drugs and the funky little afghans they used to cover me with — I was set! Wake me up when it’s all done! (I once woke up to them giving me injections into my belly! I was too drugged up to do anything about it though. And as you know, it’s not as painful as one might guess!) Sending love. Keep on keepin’ on. 🙂 xoxo
That positive spirit will kick cancer’s butt! You are amazing!
Heather Brown Kotel says
…I want you to have all of my scarves, all of our hair, all of our strength…I am going to ask my DS to post…he has inspired so many going through this with what he went through, but literally thinks “its no big deal” he is 16 and was diagnosed at 9 with a chemo resistant leukemia….he is so aloof…but I want you to “meet” him….this stage is so hard for the family (or as the hospital knows us…the caretakers) you are so not feeling well, and we can’t help as much as we want! In CA…is Marinol something you can get? T could get it in the hospital here, but not at home and zofran was a fortune…if you can guess Marinol is the liquid equivelent to Marijuana…so long nausea!!! sososo pulling for you with this round especially…it will be hard to be positive
jessica bennett says
sorry this one was tougher. Hang in there. you have such an amazing attitude! You are in my prayers!
I have been following you for a while, but never comment because I usually just keep things to myself. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are great and that I can’t believe all that you are going through! Give yourself a hug from us because we think and pray for you all the time!
Magnolia Mom says
WOW! You are amazing! Your post makes total sense. Praying for you.
Thank you for living out “choose joy”. I’m praying you sleep peacefully tonight! xo
Wanda Kern says
God’s path for you will make you stronger. This is not the end…just the beginning of a journey that will make you even better. Sending you tons of love and support. You are not alone. Now go kick that cancer’s tush!
Ashley my prayers are with you and your family. as they are everyday. my gram was diagnosed with breast cancer today. i have already shared your story with my whole family but will be reading her your blog everyday in hopes that she gains inspiration and strength from your posts. you are so courageous. i hope this round of treatment works and you can start getting stronger physically again. much love to you.
Sleep well. Tomorrow’s a new day. ♥
Amber Hunter says
Love, Positive Thoughts and Energy coming your way (((HUGS)))
Nicole Dein says
Do you seriously ever rest??? You are so strong! I can’t believe you are blogging after your long day (thank you) It is always good to hear from you:) I hope you get some good rest tonight!!
Get some rest! Even Rambo needs a break.
Crystal Powe says
Lots of hugs for you tonight! Stay strong Rambo!!
Sharon Standifer says
Dear Ash, PawPaw was there watching over
you !! Love Sharon
Wishing you comfort and rest.
You’ve been on my heart today…Hoping you can get some much needed rest…
Ashley….no matter how good you feel or how bad you feel, you give us these updates that we look so foward to. You have become like a family member and I feel like I have to check the blog out each night to see if you have posted and how you have done through the day. Keep your spirits high. But most importantly, keep kickin’ cancers butt!!!!
You are an amazing lady, my prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing your world and your talents. You are a huge inspiration. Sending long distance *HUGS* from Oklahoma!
Do you have netfix? Something to pass the time…I found episodes of my so called life today…just an idea…do you get cold there or do the give you blankets…I worry about crazy stuff like that for you…rest…we are praying…more people than you know
dear sweet ashley,
as i read your story right now, i can’t help but hear your heart-felt words as tears stream down my face. and, i can’t help hear our Abba Father saying He is with you. i keep hearing this worship song in my head for you:
God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything
Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything
dear Father God, please show Ashley that YOU are her everything. Amen.
much love and peace to you today, sweet one. you are an inspiration to me, and to so many. thank YOU. hugs, tara.
I rarely comment on blogs but u are amazing and inspiring, stay positive we are all with u :0)
ps. not to mention that you are B E A U T I F U L, ashley…not only on the inside, but gorgeous on the outside, too!!! one SUPER hot mama. hair or no hair, you’re hot:) a true beauty.
Hope you win. You are in my prayers.
judy livonius says
Glad the day is over for you. I talked to everyone in the family and all they wanted to know is have I heard anything about Ashley. Know it was not fun but love your determination to “bring your own sunshine on a cloudy day”!! Get some rest. I mailed your box and then came home and found your card. DUH…….Tell Sienna, goodies are on the way from Aunt Perry and me and the “Chinz”. Love you and pray that stuff works well and quick!! Love and light to all!!!
You inspire and amaze me everyday. I send you wishes of strength, peace and a ton of love!!!!
Wishing you lots of strength and love! Hang in there u are really a fighter!
You rocked it today and now you are home…there’s no place like home…rest and heal my heroine….xo,Adele
Alyson @EisleyRae says
What a long day for you. You are absolutely inspiring, Ashley. You’re always in my prayers.
I am wearing your bracelet and sending positive energy and prayers your way from Minesoooooota!
You are absolutely beautiful, strong, and simply amazing!!! Sending you lots of prayers, love, and hugs…I’m a hugger!!! You are an inspiration in so many ways! I might even go find a donut tomorrow! 😉
Chantelle Bowman says
I follow your blog daily. You are a true inspiration. Get lots of rest and keep hydrated!
hope you are able to rest…. praying for you!
Praying for you right now, that you will has a peaceful night and that this is the magic bullet to rid your body of this pesky cancer. I remember reading a book series when I was young about a girl who was fighting leukemia. Cannot remember what it was called but in the book, the character learns about visualization therapy… the idea being that if she visualized and drew what the chemo was doing to the cancer if would help direct her body’s energy to do what it needed to do. I think she drew the cancer as green blobs being blasted by something (??). Anyway, it was a long time ago that I read it but I still remember thinking that made a lot of sense!! Maybe you can draw purple donuts shooting at green blobs??? I am visualizing that for you right now! Much love and sleep to you. So glad you are starting what I know will be the right cure for you on your journey to recovery. Choosing joy and shooting purple donuts! xo
Today sounds like it was definitely a harder day for you. I’m so sorry to hear that. But I totally hear you on having a positive attitude about doing all you can to feel better in the long run. I hope and pray that it works! Rambo to the rescue. 🙂
Also, I hope this isn’t piggybacking off of all you’re going through (I sooo don’t mean it that way at all), but I wanted to tell you how much all of your posts about what you’ve been going through have meant to me personally lately. I feel a little silly, but I’m starting to tear up now just writing this.
Last month we found out I was pregnant. Hooray! But then last week we went in for the first appointment with the doctor + an ultrasound and we found out that I was pregnant, but there was no fetus inside the pregnancy sac. I came home that night and bawled my eyes out and felt so sorry for myself. And then the next day, I don’t know. Nothing seemed quite so hopeless as it did the night before. And in the back of my mind I kept thinking of you and all your strength and your die-hard positive attitude. I was nowhere near a trooper through this little trial of mine as you have been through this huge trial of yours, but your perspective rubbed off on me more than I realized at the time.
It was a long week, waiting for the follow-up appointment the next week and feeling sick and having my body be all over the place (feeling fine to super sick) all week long. Finally at the follow-up appointment they confirmed there was still no fetus and we scheduled a date to have it removed (today).
In the course of the past week I went from feeling so deeply sad and somewhat ashamed and humiliated by my miscarriage to being able to get through my grief and be ready to share everything about it. This morning I walked into the outpatient center with a camera in my purse and my friend and I had a blast laughing about stupid things and taking pictures of me in my hospital gown.
A couple days ago I wrote all about finding out about the miscarriage and everything in between. And today after my surgery I got back on, posted the silly hospital pictures, and wrote all about the experience. There was something cathartic about all of that. And I want to thank you for that. You’ve been such an example to me as I’ve been struggling through this all week.
Anyway, sorry to leave the longest, mushiest comment on your blog ever. But I just wanted you to know how much reading your blog has helped me push through this these past couple of weeks.
Thanks for being honest and awesome all at the same time,
mrs d says
awww Katie… I hope you feel better soon too. I know that has to be so hard. Ashley has made us all think about the good in all we do, I think. She has made us all think about things a little differently. i find I am changing things in my life so that I am surrounded by those who bring Joy to my life and vice versa.
hugs to you!!!
Brandy M. says
thinking of you, Katie…
I know what you mean about having Ashley as such a strong supporter of keeping positive. I’m not really going through anything major right now, but I think of Ashley whenever I get pi**ed off and it helps me remember to keep my glass half-full.
I wish you the best in your recovery, and I hope you get some “positive” news again as soon as you’re ready!
amy s says
You are amazing!! Stay Strong!! You’re in my prayers!
Kristina Busenitz says
I am saying a please kick Ashley’s cancer prayer right now…. Sweet dreams
I’ve never prayed this much for a stranger. Well not stranger, sister:) praying for relief from the aches and pain and that you’ll be able to sleep without getting up every 5 mins to pee!
Debbie B says
I thought of you all day because I knew they were bringing out the big guns today. Hang in there, this you can do.
i look forward to your posts – just to see your beautiful face! Your courage is inspiring. My daughter was nominated & received one of your shirts – “there is only one of me” – you, sweet Ashley, are one in a million!
amy c says
Please feel better soon. And keep drinking water. One day at a time.
Karyn G. says
You are a SUPERSTAR! Hope you sleep well. ((hugs))
Megan C says
IThis is my first comment. 🙂
I stumbled upon your blog via Pinterest I think. We have a neighbor boy, age 7, who is battling cancer & when I realized you had been diagnosed, quite honestly, I didn’t want to read anymore. I just felt like I couldn’t handle any more cancer stories. But for some crazy reason I bookmarked your blog and day after day after day found myself returning to read. I think it was your amazingly positive attitude that kept me coming back. I fell in love with your “Choose Joy” mantra and even found myself thinking more about religion (right now I have a lot of unanswered questions!). And let me tell you, I bawled like a baby when I watched your rite of passage video. I was so proud of you! Thank you for opening up your life to all of us out here.
So today when I read your post it really felt like you needed as much encouragement as possible. So here’s another unknown cyber friend sending you positive energy and prayers. I think of you everyday! Hang in there girl, you are an amazing fighter with an incredible sense of joy in your heart. xoxoxo
Thankyou for being an inspiration every day……
I have been reading your blog for some time now. Never commenting. In this post I feel your exhaustion. I feel so mush respect for you. You really do inspire me to worship every healthy second I have. I wish you the best.
Lil Miss Red T-Shirt says
double ditto. 🙁
couldn’t agree more. long-time lurker…but I had to comment this time. i wish you continued strength!
Jamie S. says
Goodnight, sweetie….praying that you have a restful night and wake up with new strength tomorrow!
Hang in there Ashley! Thanks for taking the time to write about your day. I know it must be really hard to have the energy to do that. I check in on you a couple of times a day to “see how Ashley is”! Hope you get some sleep tonight.
Hullo! Stay strong and positive! Praying daily, as always. xoxo
After I finished reading the end of your post I guessed in my head how many comments you already had and it beat me by at 13. You are so well loved and I know I am not the only one checking thought the day for an update on you. Please rest and know there are people out here praying for you. 🙂
Oh sweetheart, you exude such tremendous strength. You go girl.
Michelle Poole says
You’re such a trooper! Your next bracelet will say, “Rambo the crap out of cancer!” 🙂
I hope you can rest well tonight, with sweet dreams (of no bologna or subs).
jen @ tatertots and jello says
You are amazing amazing. Try to get some rest. We are all praying for you.
Amy N. says
Your strength is so amazing! I’m just praying that you are so tired because your body is fighting that cancer and kicking its butt! I feel like I know you so well from reading your blog for so long. You have been in my prayers. I like Michelle’s comment, something needs to have that quote on it!
Will you consider regularly posting, on the sidebar or wherever, an ongoing total for the number of “Choose Joy” bracelets sent out?
Peace, light, and love to you, Ashley, as you awake to another day of treatment.
Jamie Wangen Reed says
I don’t know what to say…just thinking of you. I was dxd with a molar pregnancy in July. 18 weeks into the journey I ended up needing 3 rounds of methotrexate to clear my HCG to negative. Nothing compared to what you are experiencing. Thank you for continuing to document your journey. It means so much to me. I haven’t had the best support system. Molar pregancies are a terrible kind of special. I know your blog will help others who are diagnosed with the tormenting dx. Thinking the best for you and your family.
Your in my thoughts. I found your blog through Facebook when someone I followed posted your haircut video online. I love how you can keep your sense of humor through this, and its so touching that you still take the time to tell us your story…even though you should be resting!
Kathy Shay-Shapiro says
lots of kisses and hugs. hopefully you will get some sleep tonight. love, kathy
Kristen Tanner says
Wow Ashley, your update makes me wonder if that is how Natalie felt too when she received the infusions of cisplatin. Your shedding light on some things for me that I used to wonder about with her during treatment. Stay strong girl…..we are cheering for you.
You have amazing grace, girl. Hang tight. Keep drinking. And get lots of rest. We are praying for you!
Ashley Williams says
Hahahahahaa. I. Love. You. <3 you make my heart happy every day! Creepy? Meh.
Ashley, You WILL be okay. Period. Take a break from being “strong.” Sleep. Please. Use the support you are surrounded with. Love on your hubby and baby. (and Lisa and Giscela too!) Know that you are in the prayers of people whom you have never met. And that you are loved.
Sweet dreams dear Ashley. I so hope and pray that this new chemo kicks the cancer out of you.
Claire Daly says
Big comforting hugs for amazing you and your amazing family. I will be visualising those rambos doing their work on those cancer cells for you Teenage Mutant Nonja Turtle style!
Time to say “HASTA LA VISTA” to the damn cancer now, isn’t it?
Oh wait, that’s the wrong film I’m sorry.
C’ant remember anything Rambo said in his films (did he talk at all?).
So just smash this cancer right in the middle, and flush it out with all that water.
I wish you a good night sleep,
Tina – not sure if I could make what you are doing. Really.
I’ve been thinking about you all day. Today is one of the hard ones.
LISA ADSHADE says
You are truly an inspiration, Ashley. Please keep smiling – the world needs you.
~From Lisa in Nova Scotia, Canada
Hello my dear, I just found your blog last night from a fb post about your benefit auction. Well, one thing led to another and there I was nearly two hours later reading your blog, feeling completely compelled to ask God to save you! I did pray for you but I also thanked God for helping me find such a truly inspirational, totally awesome person to look up to. Wow, there I was last night feeling overwhelmed with normal everyday life and I come upon your story. Thank you so much for putting it all in perspective for me. I will continue to check your blog every day to read about your treatment and progress. I will also continue to pray for you. I hope each day is a better day than the last and soon you conquer this terrible disease.
Oh my, I am so sorry your day was so rough. Praying you keep your food down and have a good sleep tonight.
laura~eye candy event details says
Sounds like you had a little bit of a rough day. I so wish there was a way to take all of this & let each one of us take a little piece of it on so you didn’t have to do this all by yourself. I thought about you many times today & kept wondering how you were fairing today & just prayed that you had the strength to make it all day there. You did. You made it. The first of the hardest days is behind you. I believe it will get better & better from here on out & that’s what my hope & prayer is for you my friend! Stay well. Stay strong. We need you to keep fighting the good fight & you are doing great! LOve you! xoxo
So this might be a little strange…but as i was peeing a while ago I thought to myself ” I wonder how Ashely did today? I need to get on the computer to find out” Ha! Funny how the universe works.
You’re going to kick this thing in the a** this time around! Can’t wait!
Always inspiring and beautiful!
Dana TM says
With only 3 hrs of sleep the night before, no wonder you’re tired! Hope you will get a good night’s rest tonight! And hope you will feel better tomorrow 🙂
Big love to you Ashley, I hope you rest well. xx
Denise Burridge says
Was thinking about you today and sending lots of God’s healing love.
I hope that you were able to get some rest.
Know that you are going to “keep moving forward”.
Thank you for being such an inspiration.
May God’s love surround your family and you.
Hope you are sleeping soundly, Ashley, and will wake to a better day. Prayers coming your way!
Love you, Sis. Get all the rest and water you can. We have an incredible family and you have incredible friends there to help. LET THEM! I am doing what I can from here. I recruit prayer warriors and talk to God all day. Wish I could be there to do more. Cancer has met its match!!!!!
It sounds like you had a rough day. Hope you’re sleeping well now. Just to let you know – and maybe make you chuckle – I’m picturing you in bed with one of those hats that holds cans and has the straws that go right to your mouth. Instead of beer cans, you have water bottles. In this image I have, you’re sleeping and drinking your water at the same time. ; )
Hope you have a restful night. I’ll be praying for you and your family today.
Chloe Lambe says
Praying for you. 644 am. Est.
Tanya @ Sunday Baker says
Praying for rest and energy for you! You have a big audience out here sending those prayers up…that has to count for something! I think we all wish we could do something for you to help!
Fried Bologna? Only thing that smells better than Fried Bologna is Bacon!!
Praying for your whole family, especially Mr. LBB. Every time I read your posts, I see what you’re going through through his eyes.
My wife has a family history of cancer and I just have this gut feeling that one day I’ll be helping her through it. Seeing Mr. LBB’s support, etc. is encouraging.
Keeping you in my prayers,
I hope you got some rest Ashley. Thinking and prayer for you always.
Chris k says
I pray this finds you well rested! You are such a trooper. My son liked Rambo when he was young. He used to call him John Rainbow. I’m sure you know a rainbow is a promise of God’s love. May “John Rainbow” be God’s promise to rid you of this darn cancer! Prayers for you!
I’m praying for you guys!! I’ll also be on the look out for some scratch and sniff stickers for you and your crew down at the doctors office! You keep inspiring me to be better, more joyful.
I wish I could give you a big donut hug girl;) hugs!!
I’ve never really thought about what people go through while getting chemo – naive on my part or head in the sand.
Thinking of you Ashley agree with Ramboing this cancer away! Thank you for taking the time to still writing your blog when you’re not feeling well. You continue to amaze me with all you are able to do.
Kitty Schaefer says
Good morning I hope your still asleep, once again you amaze me. I am praying Rambo is doing his job and that John Wayne is backing him up. I am still praying and hope you have a blessed day you go girl 🙂
Candie p says
Ashley, you are amazing….I know this probably sounds like someone blowing smoke up your ass but I REALLY mean it! You have touched and helped so many people with your diary of life it is amazing. Things have happened in my family that you look and want to wonder why us and our belief tells us that god has plans for us the day we are born but we still sometimes question why THAT plan. I think god has given you this burden to become somewhat of a substitute teacher for him. You are teaching all of us how to choose joy in our lives and definitely no pity parties. When I read all these comments I realize just how many people count on you, people you know and complete strangers like me. Your honesty and ability to share all the details is nothing more than a gift of LOVE….LOVE for life and people. Thank you and prayers coming your way.
am so certain your chronicles are helping so many people be able to get on with their horrible part of their lives. i know you help me too…i chose joy this morning when my little soon to be 6 yr old came in at 6.50am still in the same foul mood he went to bed with “demanding” who was going to make his school lunch and take him. i answered verrry sweetly,”your mama, thats me” his hard little eyes opened up all astonished and i got me a beautiful smile….hugs to you xxx
Even in the midst of all of the bad, you are still so positive. Exhausted, you rally. I admire that so much. Boo is so lucky to have such an amazing mama. Prayers for a good day today!
Ashley your such a great person. And i know Rambo will take care of business.
Sending you lots of energy for eating and showering 🙂
Praying you had a good night sleep and got some rest and feel like a new person today. You are such an inspiration!
Hang in there! You can do it! I know its hard, and I know you feel terrible, but you can do it! I have been there and I know how you’re feeling: like a Mack truck just ran over you! I can remember my best friend just laying on the bed with me because I couldn’t get up. You have so many people praying for you, I know God is watching over you and will give you the strength you need. Hang in there!
Beverly Atkins says
Thnking about you, praying and just wanted to let you know I love fried bologna! You’re amazing – even though you may not feel at all like it. We all love you and you’re an amazing inspiration. God knows you so well and is guarding you. And we will all keep praying.
Meghan Grace says
Good Morning, Ashley! Oh Sweet Pea, I soooo wish this wasn’t happening to you. I’m sure that you know how much your bloggie friends love you and would do anything to help you and your family if we could! Please know that we ARE praying for you, Mr. LB and Boo every day. Big hugs and love, Meghan
Rambo away…kick that Cancers @$$ !!!
You got this Ashley!! We love you out here in blogland!!
Meredith M. says
I kept thinking, ” there is no way Ashley will post today after her long day at treatment.” But you did! I am still praying and won’t stop until this cancer is gone dear friend. I wish I could invite Boo over to play with Leah but Texas and California are kind of far way. Love you!
The Lord is my strength and my shield
My heart trusted in Him and I am helped
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices and with my song will I praise Him.
Meagan Briggs says
Daaaaaaaaang what a long day!!!!! Those I’VE bags look intimidating!! Sorry you’re not feeling well. And Hess, do nothing and lay in bed until you feel a little bit better. Just relax! When are your next scans if you’re not taking any breaks?
Meagan Briggs says
*****geez auto correct on the iPad is obnoxious.lol. Not Hess, I meant Yes! Hahaha
Sending you love and prayers all the way from Nairobi, Kenya.
Much love to you, Ashley.
I am sending you every ounce of strength I have. I wish I could put it in a box and send it to you.
I just said a prayer for you and will continue. I’ve chosen joy, thanks for sharing your story. This too shall pass.
jill wood says
Ashley, you are amazing. I got up early just to see how you were doing after your treatment yesterday. Just so you know….. I used to love fried bologna (as a child.) Now I know it’s not good for you. Hang in there kiddo. Lots of love, and prayers.
Hang in there, Ashley… the fried bologna comment made me smile – there’s a Hoops & YoYo card from Hallmark that talks and says, “I love you… more than bologna… oh yeah… more than BACON.. bacon bacon bacon… you smell like bacon!!” and it made me smile to think of those silly little characters cheering you on during your Rambo-ing!! Sending you lots and lots of prayers and positive thoughts – and wearing my “Choose Joy” bracelet from my Mom all the time – it’s our prayer reminder for you, Mr. LBB and Boo – you all are lifted up OFTEN!
Praying for you and just shared your story on my blog at http://www.stylishlyeverafter.blogspot.com
Great to be inspired by your “choose joy” spirit!! Thank you and praying for you!!
I don’t comment much, but I read your blog and follow you on facebook since who knows when. You inspire me and it’s evident you have the same effect on many people..I’m thinking of you everyday and wishing you all the best..thank you for being so strong and having a great attitude to what life brings to us..I believe having a great attitude is one of the best medicine…many many hugs to you and your beautiful family :)…
Hopfully you’ll get some rest today Ashley, you are going to need it. You don’t need to be so brave you’ve got all of us here on your side. God is big and God is great!
Philippians 4:13 says
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Beth Morrow says
DIE CANCER DIE!!! Hope you got some rest! Don’t forget your sunshine! Praying for you and your post was fine…I make more mistakes and I just blame it on the iPad:)
Love you sweet girl,
I’ve been reading for a while, but like some above, have never commented. I love reading about you kicking cancer’s ass. I don’t really know what you’re going through, but I’m a non-hodgkin’s lymphoma researcher at a big cancer hospital in Boston, so I know what those drugs are doing to you and a little bit about how lousy you must feel sometimes…but…you got this – keep being strong and awesome. Hugs and prayers, Allison
You are such an inspiration in the way you Choose Joy everyday, even when that might seem like the last possible thing to do. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way! And hopefully Mr. LBB read your post and will spoil you with a sponge bath 🙂
My words aren’t coming out the way I want them to because I am overwhelmed with emotion this morning after reading your post so please forgive my awkwardness. I’m so grateful to you for sharing your personal journey. Watching you handle everything this year with grace, strength and positive energy has been life changing for me. Learning about your experiences with chemo has been so helpful too. I am just so grateful that you share all the moments of this fight. I’m sure it’s really difficult to do so. Thank you Ashley, from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.
jill wood says
Okay Ashley, I hope you don’t mind, but I wrote to Ellen Degeneres, to see if she would put you on her show. I know she likes to help people. I just directed her to your website, then left the rest up to her. Heck, maybe she can help pay for some of your meds.
that is an excellent idea!!!!!
Stephanie in Mi says
Hang in there!
Shanna C says
I’m amazed at how you still keep your sense of humor in the midst of this tremendous difficulty. I think about you often but I have been afraid to read your posts lately for a few personal reasons. But I think I have something to learn in your strength and grace in these moments. It’s amazing and the support you have around you, especially Mr. LBB, is more than a blessing and I can say that from experience. Good luck and I’ll keep reading and waiting for you to say “It’s Gone!!”
When I was reading your post the theme song that came to mind was Misson Impossiable. He he You are my inspiration and there is not a day that goes by, I don’t think about you and say a little prayer for you. Stay strong and I am rooting for you!!
Get lots of rest today!! Fried bologna sandwiches are my favortie!! Much love,
You are amazing. I can feel your exhaustion in your post. I am praying for you!
Another first-time commenter here – I just couldn’t pass by without letting you know that I think of you often and are cheering you on! What an amazing spirit you have, and it’s such a gift for you to be sharing yourself with us and inspiring us to choose joy in the face of whatever we may be facing (big or small). Sending you the very best wishes.
Get some rest and let Rambo do the work.
Lots of prayers!
*hugs* I very rarely comment, but I’m thankful that you allow us to be your ‘friends’ during this difficult journey. I’m sure I can speak for us all when I say that we are glad to be able to ‘support’ you even though most of us will never meet you. Praying the Lord blesses and protects you and your family, Ashley.
Ashley, you are an amazing woman. I love that you choose joy, you are such an inspiration while I try to do the same.
Your blog rocks! Keep kicking cancer’s back side so that it gets the heck out of your body!
Sarah Noll says
Oh Dear Ashley! Hang in there girl, you can do this! You are so amazingly strong, I find myself in awe of you and your optimism. Thank you for teaching me to choose joy! I have struggled with this and getting to know you through this blog has really changed my life. We have a couple things in common. I lost my dad last year too. Your dad was a amazing man (I read about him here). Mine dad had given up on joy and was a unhappy person. I know he is happier in heaven. But the best thing we have in common is that our daughters share the same name. My daughters name is Siena Rose (spelled with one N) she is 9 years old, when she was a baby we started calling her Bouji (I don’t know how it started but we still call her that). I am praying for you everyday from sunny Hawaii! Blessing to you, My LBB and Boo!
wow. you. are. awesome.
You AMAZE me. I am uplifted by your blog every day. That’s just crazy to me. You are going through what you’re going through and YOU UPLIFT ME every DAY. Thank you for this blog and sharing this journey. I know you must be helping so many people who are on this journey themselves or have friends or family on this journey.
So, I’ve never commented until today and today I’m commenting TWICE. I’m like a stalker or something. I keep checking in. I keep wondering how you are. I’m thrilled when you post something, a little scrap of news. I don’t even know you, but I’m totally cheering you on, totally rooting for you, like so many others. I agree with those who’ve posted that you don’t need to be so strong – it’s okay to rest and have a bad day and let those drugs do their work. Much, much love to you, Mr. LBB and Boo. Aaaannnnnd, now I’m crying. .. dang it!!
jill wood says
I’m glad there is another stalker out there. I thought I was the only one.
continue to stay strong and keep hydrating!! Sending rambo strong thoughts to kill that cancer out of you!! sending hugs to all of you and especially a big one for lil boo for being strong as her mom and being there for you on this journey. let’s all put our thoughts together and join in and start sending vibes out to the universe so that Ashley’s cancer can be eliminated from her body and she return to full health!! the power of the mind is strong….thanks for being such a great inspiration….warm hugs from tampa, fl 😀
From one donut lover to another, you have no idea what an inspiration you have been in my life, I, like the others think of you often and pray everyday for you. Thank you for keeping us informed and making us laugh in the process. You are a very special woman and you are going to beat this!!!! big HUG!!
Oh Ashley…in this post I can feel your exhaustion, your pain, your “haze”!! …this haze is a curse yet a blessing to help you kinda forget about the icky parts down the road!! Stay strong but also let your body give all itself up for this chemo to work. Have you asked about getting drugs to possibly help you sleep during treatments??
Some friends and I talk about you as if we know you…we want you to know we’re thinking about you!! ((hugs))
Melanie G says
sending good thoughts your way. hope you can get some rest
I know I don’t “know” you but I talk about you and pray for you all the time. I check your blog and fb page to see how you are doing. I just hope you know that there are soooo many people out there that love you and pray for you and are encouraging you!!
Amy Fain says
What kind of chemo tunes are you listening to? Ones that get that energy up to fight, fight, fight or music that puts you to into mellow, mellow land? Keep up that awesome attitude. Your family and total strangers like me gain so much from it.
Danyiel Johnson says
It’s a good thing you are peeing so much, that is a ton of fluid…could you imagine how puffy you would be if you weren’t peeing every 5 minutes. Hang in there. You have an amazing attitude and your smile is infectious.
I am praying for you and I know you are going to make it through this too! Praying for you and your family. Hugs!
Lauri Hoke says
I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family. I “stop in” here every day to check on you, and you have the ability to make me laugh and cry (sometimes at the same time) through your words. You are truly an inspiration, and I know without a doubt that God is working through you and your current circumstances to bring about good…
You are a warrior. Praying you had a restful night. May today be a day of strength and continued potty breaks. You are an inspiration, and amazing. Be reminded today that God promises….
Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. Proverbs 3:8
P.S. I like the smell of Bologna and will come sit with you ANY TIME!
I wish you strength and faith and luck, stay blessed
I am in awe of your grace and composure through this journey you are on to kick cancer in the “you know where” – I am a fan cheering you on… all the way. <3
Jennifer Goldberg says
Thinking about you……rest, rest and more rest. And then maybe some more rest 🙂
You are the CUTEST, STRONGEST, GRACE-FILLED, OPEN HEART-ED fried bologna in the whole wide world, Ashely! We love you, and pray for your continued healing 🙂
Tracy/Creme de la Gems
You are in my thoughts all day long, your cancer consumes my heart and my mind. I want nothing more than for you to get better! You and your family are in my prayers 🙂
Sending love and good thoughts Miss Bologna. Every time I see a post from you pop up in my RSS reader it makes me smile. I hope it makes you smile to picture all of us out here in blogland cheering you on and filling the universe with hope just for you.
I love your site, Ashley. you must be one of the most creative people I know in the blogosphere… I admire you for your strength…. keep on fighting because you are a fighter and you have a beautiful heart!
Praying for u daily. God bless u.
mindy t says
You seem to radiate pure joy! Thank you for being a bright light in my day. You are amazing!
I haven’t posted a comment in a while, but I’m still praying for you and your family. Let God be in control and trust in Him everyday. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11
I read your blog everyday to hear an update on your status. You’re so brave and an inspiration to everyone who knows you or reads your blog.
It is hard to see other patients that aren’t doing as well. I was one of those with a feeding tube and now when I see people with piccs it’s sad.
I called mine Buffet in a Bag!!! Or steak in a bag when I was really wanting something good!
My recliner for my infusions is near a window and I love staring out at the valley and imagining myself running through it. So many peaceful moments to myslef when I am there.
A passer byer says
You’re such an amazing fighter…I could only wish to be as strong as you!
What an inspiration. Keeping you in my prayers. You CAN kick this cancer!
Your strength and determination are amazing. I feel terrible that you have to endure this, but I know you are going to win…keep putting one foot in front of the other and staying positive. You bring tears to my eyes everyday, and you also leave this feeling in my heart, all the way on the other side of the country, I am sending love, and prayers of course.
Get your rest,
mrs d says
donut hugs and love and prayers and strength! I think about you often throughout my day… you have really made my life be so much more than it was. I am choosing joy. well other than yesterday when the lady at the library made me super super mad…. I told her to find some joy in her life! okay then I went to my car and prayed about it the rest of the day. I felt bad I had let her get to me like that. 🙂 anyways…. thinking about you!
mrs d says
oh and when i read the title of this post I so thought it was going to be about poop! lol
Positive thoughts and hugs coming your way!!!!
Erin Parker says
Praying for you Ashley. Fight on.
Rest and drink! Stay strong. Lots of love and well wishes from Texas
Susan Sutherlin says
I feel a party coming on . . . . the theme = Goodbye Cancer!
Also, I’ve been working with a non-profit company called “Chemo Rooms that Rock”. It is a group of designers who volunteer their time to re-do Chemo rooms, sounds like yours could use some “rocking”. Let me know if we should contact them and will be all over it so that all of the chemo patients are more comfortable.
Praying for your entire family.
Not that it was ever my favorite, but I don’t think i’ll be eating fried bologna anytime soon. May each day bring you some sun.
Praying for you!!!
Thank you Ashley… Thank you for sharing with us all. For ‘Choosing Joy’. You and that thought are on my mind constantly. Thank you for giving me some perspective.
I hope you health.. and I wish you lounge chairs at the beach!
Get well Ashley.
I just read every post in you cancer chronicles and you are ama-zing! I am definitely going to be more positive and “choose joy” in my life. Thank you for sharing your journey.
I am a new follower- only of about a week or two maybe, but I read through many previous posts so I feel I “know” you. I just had to comment. It is so hard to hear the toll this new treatment is taking on your body, I know it’s because it’s kicking the crap out of cancer at the same time.
You are STRONG. You can DO IT! You will be WELL again!
Hang in there. I had cistplatin, and it’s a beast. But if it’s going to kill cancer then it will totally be worth it.
Me too Melissa! It’s more than a beast! Most of my journal entries just say “sick” and they were written by someone else, cause I was too sick to hold the pen.
You can do this, be strong!
Today my little 17 month old daughter named Coco learned how to say ‘Outside’ but it sounds a lot like ‘Oousthide’! She’ll say it over and over and over.
I’m praying that you stay strong and will get ‘Oooust-hide’ of this period of your life.
LOTS OF LOVE, WE ALL ADORE YOU! XOXOXOOX
We are praying with you and for you. Thank you for sharing this journey. You are amazing.
I love fried bologna! Totally a southern thing 😉
I love reading your updates, and I’m so inspired by your faith and endurance of this current life trial. Keep your chin up!
No words can really express, but I think you really are SuperWoman. Amazing! Thinking of you!
You’ve got this, Ashley. You can do it.
I found your blog awhile ago and made my daughter an owl applique shirt that turned out adorable! Then I was looking for a skirt to make for her and again came back to you! Sometimes God does that! Sends us to people who need our prayers. I started to read your blog. You are an amazing woman! My prayers are with you! Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us.
You are in my prayers. God is doing a great work in your life. Stay Strong!
So u got to guilt them up and make the staff feel even worse for you, pull the young mother with a kid card, I did so I could get them to schedule me in that one chair right in front of the bathroom. Trust me little things, as you probably know, like that make all the difference in the world. Feel good for both of us!!!!!
Wow, your experience brings memories back of my own. I did Interferon treatment and it just sucked. Felt like the flu every night. Ask your nurse for a concotion to take when you get home, 2 tylenol, 1 advil and 1 Zyrtec…..sounds crazy but it helped!! Please keep your spirit up, you can fight this and win!! You are in my prayers!!
Meredith Resnick From A Mother Seeking... says
I am sorry you are not feeling your best today. Hopefully rest will do you good! Keep hydrating and know you are in my thoughts.
Jennifer Dingman says
It’s spiritual emphasis week at my daughter’s school next week. They emailed the daily devotions today. I thought Day 5 was exceptionally good and relevant. I have given several Choose Joy bracelets to teachers at her school. I think you are a great example of one embracing the below devotion. You are not asking ‘Why me’ and I believe are helping others in similiar situations. Thank you for your Choose Joy outlook on life. Our prayers continue to be with you and your family.
Day 5 Devotion at Ripon Christian
Why did God let so many bad things happen to me?
A couple of years ago, I had an epiphany or an “aha” moment.
Instead of asking God, “Why me?” I decided to ask myself, “Why
not me?” Did I deserve a trouble-free life? Should I accept only
all of the easy and good things from God’s hand and not the hard?
Thinking in this way changed my whole attitude. It helped me get
rid of my bitter feelings and “poor me” attitude. I was forced to
face my own contribution to the difficult situation in my life. I
began looking for ways I could learn from the situation. Later, I
realized my pain could lead me to help others in similar
The next time you are facing a difficult situation, use the solution
David showed us in Psalm 61. Begin each day with this prayer:
“Lord lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Then remind
yourself all through the day and night that you are standing on
the rock that is our God!
praying for you!
Sending my prayers your way. Stay strong!
I am praying for you. You’ve really touched my heart and I am praying for you to get better fast. Peace be with you and Godspeed.
Toni K says
I’m sure we all wish we could do something to give you more energy, and keep your food down. But since we can’t, please take our love. I hope the combined love and admiration for you is enough to give you a little strength. You can do this!
Thinking of you daily! Sending love and prayers! Xo
Terry Carter says
You are amazing and we all love you and pray, pray, pray, for you.
Dara Lynn says
No one around my house has been sleeping either…NO ONE! My bff was complaining of the same thing. The joke is the solar energy shower a few days ago is giving off a cosmic energy to everyone and keeping them up…, moving.. cleaning…organizing.. donation piles growing! But seriously…you hang in there!!
I watch for you posts every day so that I can check on you…I pray for your speedy and permanent recovery.
Sarah Rooney says
I almost feel bad commenting, only because I know you like to read and respond to everyone, but I have to say I think of you daily and I pray for you. I feel like we are friends because you have let me into your life through your website, and I am grateful. We are the same age, and I have a 4 year old daughter and a 21 month old daughter. If we didn’t live thousands of miles away I feel like we would be friends! I found you and lil blue boo for a reason and I will never forget you and your strength! You are an inspiration! Thank you!
Mary Anne says
Lifting you up Ashley and praying for strength & healing for you and your family. Prayer works and the more who are praying the better :o)
I’m praying for you.
You are strong! WoW, you are SO strong! Hopefully, you can feel all the love coming your way. You have a lot of admirers. It’s OK to ask for help and take a break, you don’t always have to be tough.
Hi Ashley –
I stumbled on your site via Pinterest and made the Box O’Princesses for my goddaughter for Christmas (which was super-fun as I have three boys). I found myself back on your blog a few weeks ago and have been visiting daily and praying for you ever since. My dad also died suddenly last year (Feb. 5) and I think he and Norman have made fast friends in heaven because they sound like they sprouted from the same pod! I too made bracelets (WWDD – what would Denis do?) for my family to remind us to embrace his spirit every day, in everything we do, whether we feel like it or not. You are clearly carrying your father’s on with you – your grace and joy certainly inspires me! Thank you for sharing your experience – you are creating hope in every post, and there can’t be enough of that in the world.
God bless you and keep you during this fight!!!!
Dana Brewer says
You look beeeeeautiful! I love the scarf! Praying for you to be able to rest and pee and shower and snuggle and write and do whatever you need to do. I am believing for a QUICK AND COMPLETE HEALING!!!
You are so inspiring Ashley! I would have loved to share that Fried Bologna with you, I haven’t had one in such a long time and now want one! Give your body the rest that it needs and sleep well!!
Sending love your way.
Leigh Ann says
I respond to your posts a lot……. Never met you…. But all I can say is love you to pieces! You and your precious family are in my familys prayers and in our thoughts constantly!
I’m praying for you
Heather Hillier says
Your body is telling you to get some rest and God only knows you deserve it. They’ve given you the BIG Guns and let them do their work. I was extremely tired after my adriamycin as well. I am not familiar with your chemo cocktail but rest and let it do itw work.
You are in my thoughts, in my heart and in my prayers.
Trece Wyman says
Oh Ash, greater is He Who is in you, than he who is in the world. Praying you’ll be able to sleep.
Heather G. says
Thinking of you always, friend. Stupid cancer.
Hang in there girlfriend, there’s a lot of us out here rooting for you!!!
In Black & White says
Sleep well Ashley, tomorrow is a bright new cancer-ass-kicking day!
I hope and pray the cancer is dying right now! keep fighting! you are such an inspiration!
1 Funky Woman says
It sounds to me that you have gone all Chuck Norris and Rambo on this Cancer. You go girl and go get some rest. Hugs to you!
You go, Girl! Rambo them little suckers to death. Wishing a good rest tonight.
excuse me….I have to pee (then I’ll go back to reading the rest of this blog)
ok, I’m back (I’m at work so I had to work a couple of tickets before I could get back with ya). I hope you don’t feel as crappy tomorrow, hon. I know it’s tough but so are you. *big grandma-type hugs for ya and an UZI for your Rambo assault*
Sunshine Wright says
Blast that $h#t to smithereens, mama! xo
Well Ashley… I think I have already said that I wanna be like you when I grow up : ) …you do help me keep things in perspective, and remind me whats important. I pray you kick this cancers big’ole butt!
sending lots of love and prayers your way. rest well.
Joy Eballar says
Love you Ashley. You will kick this bad ass cancers butt!!!
Still pray for you everyday. Hope you feel better tomorrow. xoxo
Dear Ashley–I live to the west of you in Pasadena. When I see the sun coming up in the morning, I think to myself that all that golden light must be coming from you. You shine like the sun sweetie, even on the hardest days. Much love, many prayers and sweet dreams in restful sleep.
You are so funny with your little map to the ladies. Read about you on another blog I follow and I was drawn to you and your humor and courage. I haven’t read your whole blog yet,but just from what I have, your husband and daughter, friends and family are so blessed to have you. You are so talented. Your love shines so bright, I have to wear my sunglasses to read your blog! Ha ha! Just wanted you to know I pray for you and your family daily.
I just know your going to kick its behind and show it who is boss. Reading your posts reminds me how strong and amazing you are. I’m cheering for you every day and thinking of you, feel better and please stay hydrated.
danna bc says
Big hugs. I love Rambo. He’s a survivor in real life too. I just read something about how he had a dream and didn’t sell that dream despite pressure and it paid off. I wish the same for you. Feel better soon. : )
cindy brickley says
I wish I could send you a really comfortable recliner with a padded built in potty, so you can get some sleep without having to get up every 5 minutes. I hope this time goes by really fast and that you have a total 100% recovery. Just know everyone is praying for you, and wishing you the best. we all Luv you.
I wore adult diapers to bed when I was to exhausted to get up anymore. People think your buying them for your grandmother and if anyone asked I said yes they were for her. Try them, it will help you sleep alittle better.
I am just coming through the dark side of a chemo/radiation journey with my husband. We are so close to being “safe” we can taste it. They really do have to almost kill you to get the cancer but from the support persons side of this, it is worth it. Put a water proof mattress pad on your bed and the adult diapers if you need to, but hang in there. It is really hard but when you win, none of the crap will matter any more. I didn’t care what I had to do for my hubby as long as he lived, I am sure your family feels the same. I am praying for you and your family, and for wisdom for your doctors. Hang in there.
Brandy M. says
You are so dang amazing! I love your “UP” attitude and your positive spirit. I hope you have even a small idea of the difference you’re making in so many other people’s lives! I do also hope that you allow yourself just a tad-bit of “pity time” every now and then. Ok, only a little! LOL.
I’m a RN and am on a major job-hunt right now. I’ve forever wanted to be a NICU nurse. However, after learning about you last week, and taking 3 days to read your entire “Cancer Chronicles,” I’m rethinking this and am also thinking about oncology or infusion nursing…
Will definitely be keeping you in my mind and heart as you travel this journey.
Myself and a few other people I know have also been fighting insomnia this week. I tried to attribute mine to the increased solar activity, but more realistically it’s probably due to something more mundane like my own overactive brain or my erratic caffeine intake this week.
Obviously you have major, easily explainable reasons for your own insomnia. I’m amazed at how light-hearted you remain, even when you’re low on sleep and clearly aren’t feeling good, etc. I look forward to reading more of your posts and am sending you HUGE waves of positive energy, hoping you will feel much better very soon!
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. My prayers are with you. Hope you kept down your dinner and got some rest. You and Rambo kick this cancers butt.
Sending you and your family prayers. “STAY STRONG!”
Good morning and God bless you! I think about you everyday and send prayers. Hope you have a good week with your family. ♥
Patricia Blomeley-Maddigan says
Praying for the release from endless nausea and eating issues.
Joy T. says
SOO glad you are hydrating the heck out of your kidneys… I have Alport Syndrome, a genetic kidney disease,… and betweent he diuretic pulling all sorts of liquids OUT of your body and the drugs you are on… I cannot double emphasize enough how important it is to drink PLENTY of water…. that diuretic is going to pull fluids from everything, not just what you drink, so your job is to replace the stuff you normally pee out and all the stuff the diuretic is pulling out as well… keep up the good work, the sanitation experts are counting on your pee!
Your are very very beautiful, and I admire your strength against the illness!
I do not know youI, but I think about you everyday …. Hope you have a good week with your family. ♥
Your such a strong person. Love your drawing for the bathroom. LOL isnt that the way it works out.
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the GLORY revealed to us later”
Praying for you