My last update I managed to fit the words “laxative, beer bong, Grecian and Team Edward” all into one post and it all made sense. This time it’s: maxi pad, maternity jeans, mathematical equation and donuts.
I had my chemo this morning at 8:30 am. Just a half pound of weight lost….I thought for SURE I’d gain weight after Thanksgiving. My butt is so flat and sad looking saying “feed me, puhllleeeaseee!” I reply: “I’m trying! But they can’t fit donuts in IVs!”
Lisa is sick with a bad cold so we are wearing masks around here today. My mask is from the Lucy Curci Center and is lightweight and comfortable….Lisa’s mask is from an apocalyptic nuclear war emergency kit, seriously. I kept laughing because her mask was so thick and she kept saying,”I feel like I’m wearing a maxi pad on my face!!!”
I worked my little tushie off this morning because I had some energy and I knew the chemo would kick in by afternoon. It felt really good to work for a while. This weekend Brett and our friend Chris and his son carpeted the outdoor studio. I really, really wanted to dig in and organize some things but didn’t quite have the energy.
Every little thing that has been sent in the mail has been so appreciated. I hope many of you won’t mind if I share them with others who need some joy and encouragement. I don’t need one material thing. But the kindness and generosity you’ve shown me has given me the opportunity to share with others and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.
I do want to share one delivery that will make you laugh. After returning from Thanksgiving, we found 10 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts had been hand delivered to our front door…..personally delivered by CEO Jim Morgan. The king of donuts?!? At my front door?!? And I wasn’t here?!? My dad knew so many wonderful people and Jim is one of them. My dad’s legacy pops up in some way every single day…..even through donuts. Minus the dozen we ate ourselves, we had fun hand delivering the rest of the donuts to friends and family and neighbors. If I wasn’t going through chemo though I can guarantee you I would have eaten an entire box myself.
Highlight of my day? Wearing jeans! The chemo makes my skin so sensitive that it makes it impossible to wear normal pants/jeans with my huge incision so I ordered a pair of Gap Maternity jeans. The butt needs to be taken in just a bit but they rock. The huge elastic maternity band covers my scar perfectly and I can tolerate it. So I might need a few more pairs to tide me over the next few months!
My levels continue to go down. I did a mathematical equation and the way the numbers have been it looks like I’ll be doing chemo into March. Maybe next week will be a huge drop and it will change my calculation.
Before I sign off tonight….I’m so moved and inspired by a woman named Jenny Swett. She found out in 2009 that she had breast cancer and then it spread to her liver, her brain and her bones. Jenny is undergoing additional radiation soon and once that is done she’ll start hospice. She is such a pillar of strength for me. I pray every night for a miracle for her and her family and hope you will too. We were introduced by her mother online and I know we were meant to be friends. You can read her and her mother Debby’s updates here.
“I have to say though, I’m not scared. I’m really, not. I feel like I was chosen to live this and I honestly look at it that I was given a gift to learn what most people learn in half the time, if at all. It was also a gift to be given this time to learn to live in the moment and accept life for what it is. The thing is, we make it so complicated. Life is simple, it really is.”
Life IS simple, it really is. Thank you Jenny.
Lisa….you’re still cute…even with a maxi-pad on your face! 😛
Hahaha, thank you!
Great update Ashley! YaY for maternity jeans! When Starbucks had their buy one get one free last weekend I gave the free drink to the person behind me. I try daily when I’m out in the world to do something good.
Your still an inspiration, thank you!
My pool number is 1711
Lauren C says
Yum. I love me some donuts too. Next week we will go with 2454
I feel privileged to read your blog and follow your journey . I love your transparency and your willingness to just put it out there. You are a true inspiration! You are in my prayers!
Michelle Poole says
Ashley, your wisdom, courage and grace continue to amaze and impress me! I will continue to pray for you and now for Jenny as well!
Amber L says
Yay for jeans and donuts 🙂 I just love all of the stories you share. I have been praying for you and will for Jenny. I also tell my husband about you all the time. Today he was upset at work by the computer not saving his work properly. I told him I was going to give him a choose joy bracelet. And I asked him if he knew where it would come from. He said you. The first time I told him about choose joy was your starbucks story. And I also fill him in with all the other details of your blogposts. I told him tonight that no matter how bad your day is that it could always be worse and we need to be thankful for what we have. I told him he could have made his day better, he was choosing to be mad. He needed to choose joy. I also told him I am trying to be more patient and a better mother. I lack in the patience field! I think your story is helping a lot of people 🙂 And I hope your calculations for your chemo are wrong and it ends sooner. My guess for the next round would be 1610. I hope it is lower though 🙂 And I am glad to hear you had a wonderful thanksgiving. We stayed home and relaxed. I didn’t make anything since we are still in our rental apartment. But we close on wed on our house! We still have no idea when our furniture will get here! But we will gladly be living in our house with no stuff!
You are so inspiring. Thanks for the link to Jenny Swett’s blog – another inspiring story! Hoping your levels are below 2000…. I guess… 1987 (because that is the year I was born)
Tammy O. says
Looking good! Glad you were finally able to eat some donuts! My HCG pool guess is 1400.
You always manage to make me laugh, cry, and see things with a brighter eye, in one post. I do choose joy! I will pray for you and your new friend.
lisa jack says
Wow. Just, wow. What an amazing woman. God bless her, her family & “peeps”.
Great to hear that your treatment continues to be a success. My guess for next week is 2501 (but I’m hoping for less). Also waiting for my “Choose Joy” bracelet and will be setting one aside for my father-in-law that just got a clean bill of health this past week after fighting colon cancer this past 13 months! There was much to give thanks about this year at the family table.
Sending goo vibes and prayers your way for a quick recovery
PS: you are so lucky to have Krispy Kreme delivered to your door. The local store closed a few months ago and I had to content with Dunkin Donuts since : not the same…
Oops typo hoping for 1501 not 2501 :p
HOT diggity Doughnuts!!! There is, fortunately/unfortunately, a Krispy Kreme JUST around the corner… I swear I can sense when the HOT sign glows! LOL….
NOW, Ashley, you should grab up those masks and trim them in holiday cheer or at least, like we do at the hospital, make smiles, moustaches and the like, it REALLY cheers the patients up instead of seeing those old BLAND masks. They never know WHAT’s coming through the door…it’s REALLY fun when we sneak the docs one, him unknowing, and he slides in all serious with a silly face on LOL!
Life is to be lived….. Thank you for sharing Jenny’s story
Ashely, a continued thanks for your warm and caring heart and the use of the words… maxi pad, maternity jeans, mathematical equation and donuts, in a sentence!
Ok my vote on the Number Lotto…. 1325
Addy Van Anne says
I am inspired by you! My guess will be 1212. For no other reason then that 12 is my son’s special number.
Your posts always make me smile (and lately I cry, as well). I love your new hip jeans – soooo glad you found comfort and cuteness. Great ideas on how to share joy with others throughout your day. Thank you for sharing Jenny’s link. You are both in my prayers.
My guess is 1511 and I hope it’s something much lower.
Bless you Ashley.
Jennifer Goldberg says
Just catching up with your posts, I have been gone for a week. Glad to see things are getting better. Yum to the Krispy Kreme donuts and yeah for GAP maternity jeans. I would love to always wear them if I could. Still thinking about you daily, continuing to pray for you daily. 🙂
Shelly Kurtzhals says
Very cool post Ash….
My guess for your next week is 1501.
I used to be SO good at this guessing games and such.
Praying for your friend. May they find some peace in hospice and her upbeat attitude. I love to hear people proclaim their un-fear to what could happen…. the invetible at some point in ALL of our lives…death. She is at peace and I’m sure it was provided through much soul searching and encouragment from friends.
juste un petit mot pour te remercier de ce joli site auquel je suis abonnée depuis déjà quelques temps! Merci pour ta bonne humeur et ton courage! J’adore venir visiter les nouveaux articles! A bientôt
Seriously???? Do they make maternity jeans that little.. What the heck? I wish you could see the ones we wore in the 80’s. Oh my how times have changed. The donuts and your blog.. gives me goosebumps every day. Thanks for the choose joy. I hope that by wearing one we will all be reminded to do just that. The list of examples of “pay it forwards”.. awesome .. My gift was a post that my son made the other day (he paid for a lady’s food who could not afford it). When I posted “your a good boy”.. he said what is life if you can’t do something to help someone out.. Now this is a fellow that would give you the shirt off his back.. and even though it is admirable..and a good trait it can be bad for him?? Not really I guess it all works out (might cost momma a few $$) but what the heck. Thanks girl for the midnight shift girls uplift. Life in the ER is quiet tonight…
Tracie @ cleverlyinspired says
Oh my, drool , donuts , wish I lived closer! So glad you had some energy to work a bit. I am sure that felt good!! I would love to buy a bracelet. Where can I do that?
your levels are finally lower than the year! I lived in gap maternity jeans and cried when a girlfriend told me that I had to give them up 😉 I better go get my Choose Joy before they sell out – blessings xoxo Bev
Tara B says
You are an inspiration. I wish I could approach each day with the optimism that you show. I did not get a chance to buy a bracelet before they sold out and would have loved to pick up some for myself and my daughters as I am trying to teach them to “choose joy” on a daily basis as we all struggle with too much negativity.
I wanted to add that a simple way for you to give back is something that I do myself and have been doing for the last 5 years. A friend and fellow mom was undergoing chemo 5 years ago, and I decided to make up some chemo caps for her as well as to donate to a local charity. I have since been offering them free (for shipping) on my etsy site and have sent out well over 100 caps in the last 3 years. My site doesn’t get much traffic though and I keep trying to reach a bigger audience, but without help, I can’t fulfill much more of a need on my own.
Here is the link to my listing, the pattern is a free one I found online years ago. Let me know if you would like a link to that as well.
Meagan Briggs says
I love donuts too! My favorite place in Seattle is called Top Pot Donuts. It is so neat and adorable, you can’t help eat 2 or 10 donuts from there. You’ll have to go there someday.
Gap maternity jeans are by far the best jeans on the planet. They fit so good and they are so comfortable. I wish I could live in them year round!!
Love the choose joy bracelets. I think they would be perfect stocking stuffers or to string them on presents when you do the ribbon!
PS go chemo again this week for dropping your numbers even more! And March is NOT that far away. You’re amazing and inspirational.
Yeah how wonderful! Remember to play a little Prince song and dance today with Boo! I’m so happy that your numbers continue to drop. I’m blessed that I found your site. I wrote on my bathroom mirror over thanksgiving “Choose Joy”. It was my way to think of you during the holidays and it also served as a reminder that we should all look at things more positive. Reading your blog is helping me in so many ways you will never know. Thank you so much for your writings daily they are truly inspirational.
My new guess will be 1225….for December 25…a Christmas Present 🙂 Not knowing much about levels are you trying to get to 0…is that the goal? My Grandmother-in-law has 2 1/2 weeks left of treatments and we are hoping that she will be cancer free by Christmas…that is my wish. She was lucky they found hers early and she has a remarkable attitude.
Hoping you are able to enjoy your day and stay healthy. Prayers from Texas!
judy livonius says
Ashley & Lisa!
You are certainly making lemonade out of “lemons”!! What a great gift you are giving to everyone you touch!! So proud of you!! xox, jl
You are such an inspiration with how positive you are. I was at Hobby Lobby during lunch and gave the girl in front of me an extra coupon I could not use. I had read your post this morning and just thought of you. My guess for your next level is 1905. Praying for you every day.
Karen C. says
I guess 1533 for your next number. Never thought of wearing a mask when someone has a cold, can we color them to make them pretty, or at least add a heart?
Been thinking of you Ashley. Your spirit and courage is amazing. If I could have only been like you!!! So happy your levels continue to FALL with the methotrexate…..I am betting you will be done a lot sooner than you think. Hugs!!
Je prédis un beau 1450 pour ton prochain test. Ça continu de descendre!!! Je pense à toi et je suis très optimiste, merci pour toutes ces belles choses que tu partages avec nous, j’adore ta façon de penser.
hallie garrett says
YALL girls are too cute, always! Love reading your sporadic and unexpected posts Ashley!
Hallie & Cashlen
I love the way you encourage people. I even get encouraged by your thoughtfulness of others. I love doing the kindness thing every day. It makes me smile when they smile back. I pray your better each day. Thank you so much for your special ways of making my day.
Just wanted to say I’ve been following your blog almost from the beginning b/c what you were doing was so fresh and creative. I know 3 women facing similar struggles right now and- including you-they’re all doing it with such grace and spirit. You ladies are what girl power is all about. Fight the good fight!
I just came by your blog because I found your wet felting tutorial on Pinterest. I want to make a planetary solar system mobile with my son who is 5 1/2. He is way into planets right now. I’ve done some needle felting and I love fiber crafts, but I’ve never done wet felting. Thanks for the great tutorial.
Your postings about cancer moved me. My FIL had colon cancer and has now passed his five year mark cancer free. I know that prayer works. I’ve been wondering a lot lately about starting my own crafting business, tossing around ideas, getting bogged down in the day-to-day life of mothering/wifely responsibilities, getting stumped and side tracked. But your post made me think about what if my time here might be shorter than I think. Would I get moving today? Or would I still be holding back? You have a way with writing. You’re funny, warm, sincere, and real. Know that your words are appreciated. 🙂 And thanks for the tutorial.