I’ve never laughed as hard as I did last night…….all at Lisa’s expense. I saw that someone had just Googled “girls who poop at work” to get to Lil Blue Boo and I asked them to “fess up” on Facebook…..and it set off a firestorm of poop searches. Well now…..if you google it…..Lisa’s image is the first photo to come up. I’m so sorry Lisa.
The past few days I’ve been having pain in my lower right pelvis area. I know there’s a tumor there. But the pain feels like last time when it was growing so fast……so my gut feeling is that it’s growing….maybe not much….but it’s “invading” something down there. I struggled a little to get out of the car after I picked up Boo from school and a wave of panic came over me. These tumors can be very invasive and aggressive…..and I know my bladder and colon are down in that area. I am squeamish when it comes to anything bladder and colon related. I get faint even thinking about it. Take a lung, take a kidney, take part of my stomach, take a finger, take a toe…..but don’t take any part of my bladder or colon. You’d be proud of me….I called Dr. L after hours. He was patched through immediately and said that we would move my scan up to this morning first thing. I had my scan at 9:45 and I already feel better that there is a picture of my pelvis floating around somewhere.
At the hospital this morning the nurse insisted on carrying my purse from the IV chair to the machine room……it was a new machine and was halfway around the building. It was a tug of war for a second…..because I was super embarrassed 1. it weighed over 20 pounds 2. was stuffed full of junk and 3. I’d brought donuts to eat immediately after my scan.
I had to drink the contrast stuff before the scan. It tastes like Crystal Light. They gave me 20 minutes as usual…..I drank it in 2 minutes flat. I’m sure the nurses were like: um, it’s not a competition to see who can drink it fast…..you REALLY have 20 minutes. Oh whatever….I like to be competitive at these things. I have no athletic ability so I’d like to be good at something. So let me brag a little: I am great at keg stands. I can shotgun a beer in 2 seconds flat. If you went to college with me you already knew that though.
Good for you for conquering your fear of “bothering” the doctor!!! I know we all have to be super-proactive about our own health these days and be our own advocates but I have the same fear you do. It’s best for us to get over it. After all, our health is on the line!!!!
Can’t wait to hear the results of your scan. Fingers crossed!!!
colleen from alabama says
I am NOT a champion drinker… and yes, i had to have one of those colon scans where you drink the “they lied when they said this was mochachino flavored” yuck mouth drinks! It was so nasty i thought i was gonna puke! Maybe you could do a tutorial on how to shut your nose and tastebuds off! LOL! I hope i never have to do it again, but could use a tutorial if i do! hahahaha
ha ha ha!n woulda never thought to search you by your poo! hilarious. I’m with you on the colon stuff. No fun. Don’t mess with it!
sweet tea in mason jars – what a wonderful image
yup. I have that smell/taste shut-off valve somewhere in the back of my head too. and Yup! I can slam ’em with the best of them! We’ll have to have a slamming contest if we ever meet up! I vote for sweet tea in mason jars!
You are just too cute.
Lots of prayers your way! LOVE the song and translation
Kitty Schaefer says
You had me laughing so hard at the start of this blog, now smiling and hoping you get some good news. Hope you enjoy those donuts 🙂
Hey amazing chicka!! I wish I had your nose-turning-off abilities… I seriously gagged when I saw the juice you made the other day, lol. But I think for me it’s a smell & texture thing…
Hoping for good scan results!!
Oh, and talking about juicing stuff. Do you need lemons? Our tree is nuts and we’re tired of drinking lemonade, lol.
Ha! Poor Lisa. I had to see for myself and YUP she is there. Poor Poor Lisa.
I can’t stop laughing.
Good for you for calling the doctor! Trust your gut. When you have that ‘feeling’ that something’s not right, now is NOT the time to ‘wait and see’. I pray your instincts are way off on this one and it’s just related to all that juicing! But if you’re right, it’s better not to waste any time trying to tough it out and not bother the doctor. So PROUD of you. You have to be your own best advocate! Sending you prayers and ‘telepathic donuts”!
Oh my gosh, I’m dying laughing over here… you know I had to google the poop thingy. Well I googled “girls poop at work” and Lisa’s pretty face is right next to an extremely nasty toilet picture and above a rather big lady puking. Poor, poor Lisa. But I’m still laughing… seriously, Brian just asked what’s going on with me, I’m laughing so hard!!!
Jacque Pierro says
I just had to do a Google search for “girls who poop at work” and yep, Lisa’s image comes up. That’s so funny!!! 🙂 LMAO You look adorable though Lisa!
Trisha MIller says
LOL….every day it sounds more and more like you! Again..we love your honesty!
My grandfather sang that song to me as a baby. He died when I was still little, and the only memories I have of him are him singing that to me over and OVER! 🙂 Praying for good scan results!
Good for you and your mad keg stand skills. I’m sure you’ll be able to teach Boo a thing or two. 😉 Oh, the college years.
Praying and hoping the results from your scan are the opposite of what you’re thinking they might be. XX
Meagan Briggs says
LOL about the poop!!!! Hilar.
Looking forward to hearing about this scan! Crossing my fingers.
Kristina Churchill says
Poor, Poor Poopy Lisa 😉
Poor Nurse 😉
Ashley, praying for your colon and bladder parts to be free of invading cancer cells.
Thinking of you,
I remember sucking down a beer(s) at college through a “Beer Bong”. Do you remember those.? A funnel with a plastic hose attached;)
Lisa Weedman Newell says
You ALWAYS make me laugh! Lupie’s is right around the corner from me… still serving iced tea in mason jars, I believe.
Your ‘new image’ is hilarious!!!!
You and I would have been best friends in college! I don’t have all that much athletic ability either…but I went ahead and played womens lacrosse (which I was horrible at) because their practices on Friay were to run to the captains house for beers! Sign me up!
Hoping your scan went well. xoxo
Melanie G says
that is an amazing talent. I had to drink that nasty stuff and couldn’t choke it down in 20 minutes.
I love that you had donuts in your purse, it made me smile.
I am new to your blog, I have been reading for about a month. I love you stories, your craftiness, your cute little family, and your outlook on life. It’s so contagious.
So I hope you take the following as a compliment, because it’s certainly meant as such – I think you might be more beautiful without hair. Don’t get me wrong – I think you happen to be a lovely looking lady. God graced you with good looks. But maybe in his infinite wisdom, he knew you’d be bald one day and he wanted you to own that look as well.
You have my prayers for you, Mr. LBB, and Boo on your journey through cancer and living and healing and everything else.
Love this post, so glad you called the doctor, feel sorry for lisa;), I am great at keg stands not so great at shotgunning beers, and you sound pretty up beat…I am praying you hear only good news from your scans, continue Choosing Joy, I am…and now I have to go have dinner at Lupie’s…
Ack! I’m not sure I’m a fan of this post… What with it’s “To be continued” tone and all!
The waiting. OH the waiting!!!
Hold the phone. It’s not about me *wink* I’ll get over myself now. You’re welcome 🙂
Post as soon as you can 🙂
Thinking about you! (and waiting….patiently…mostly)
chloe lambe says
LOOK AT YOU! that white coat syndrome is going away! work those doctors girl! thats what there here for!
thats awesome you called and got your appt moved up!
currently praying for you. right now. 5:35 EST. btown nc.
Thinking good thoughts for great test results. The nurse probably was thinking, “where’s my donut”!
Elisa F. says
Oh, Ashley! You crack me ALL THE WAY UP!! The poop! The donuts! The “imaging” center!
I’m so proud of you, the way a person is proud of her sister, for calling Dr. L after hours. I’m the biggest weenie-wah-wah when it comes to “imposing” myself on medical staff, so I could really relate to your earlier posts about being hesitant. You’ve inspired me to pull on my big girl panties and call my doctor!
I need your drinking skills! I once drank the imagining stuff in 2 minutes and then barfed it up all over the bed sheets. The poor young cute CNA had to clean up my barf and give me more sicko drink – and then he insisted that I do not try that again and watched me drink it slowly. I’m pretty sure it didn’t taste like crystal light but flat thick mountain dew.
Lil Miss Red T-Shirt says
I’m sorry. 🙁 I hope the results are “cleaner’ than expected (pun intended).
How did I miss keg stands at college?!
I feel like I know you – also went to WFU and fancy shot gunning a beer. When did you graduate? Now we live in Charlotte (been here for 7 years and a little before that right after college). Just found your blog, love it. You’ve got another cheerleader in the Queen City!! Just went to Mary Jo’s today – thought of you.
Liliana Landauer says
Yes! I just looked it up and there was Lisa 🙂 Hilarious. Good luck with your scan.
Cindy Click says
Glad you had the scan early. Now you can concentrate on craftyness! Ok, now about the colon. I donated 7 inches of colon last year (not voluntarily) Thru my routine colonscopy, they found a tumor to big to remove thru the scope. Was it a piece of cake, no- but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, either. I look at it as “a life saver.” (My dad had colon cancer at my exact age-58, and he will be 90 this year) It’s amazing how modern medicine can take things out of the body, re-connect, and all works well. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, but I wanted to ease your mind. At least your hair went for a good cause; I think my donation went in the trash!!! (Ewwww-colon transplant- I don’t think so!!) Hugs and prayers! Cindy
Southern Gal says
Poor, poor Lisa. 😉
I had completely forgotten that song. My daughter used to come home from camp singing all those silly songs. I miss them. I’ll have to get her to sing them for her daughter now (and me).
Kelly D < :) says
Thank Lisa for being such a good sport! 🙂
I dont think I ever heard anybody say taht the contrast tastes like Crystal Light until I just read it in your blog. ….go figure 🙂
Did it have a Crystal Light flavor?? 🙂
Kelly D < 🙂
I’m very inspired by your juicing. Do you have any tips or web sites that us ‘newbies’ could start out with? Thanks for being a blessing!
Praying, praying, praying you hear good news!
Toni K says
You made me laugh too. Thanks for that 🙂 Praying for a “not bad” scan.
Now that’s the Ashley I know! You and Renee and those LONG, LONG legs. 🙂 Praying for the good news that we’re all hoping for tomorrow.
Heather G. says
About to google girls who poop at work…
Patricia Blomeley-Maddigan says
I can do that closing off smell thing!!! Another thing we have in common – is that good or bad?
On the serious side, I do not have, so that is a difference between us.
But I can and do pray for you – for general health, good scan results, strength for this journey you are travelling.
You are so brave. You continue to be an inspiration to me.
May you always know you are in God’s care – even at the ugly times.
Susan Lewis says
I just said a prayer for you.
Possibly one of the funniest things I have ever seen. You are definitely having a good day – enjoy it!!
Have you seen the book?
They call her Catalina Magdalena Hoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan… by Ted Arnold
We sang that song all the time rowing up so I bought a book for my kids and my brother’s kids.
It is a children’s book, but there is a page on the history of the song.
Praying for awesome news tomorrow
I had to get the Dragon app after reading this…My youngest was listening to her book on disc and then comparing Dragon’s interpretation….We are easily amused! Praying for good test results tomorrow.
Hahahaha! you are so adorable! I feel like hugging you through the computer right here right now! 🙂
Becky T. says
OMG! I L.O.V.E. Lupie’s!!! I had no idea you were ever in Charlotte. My husband and I lived there for 12 years and miss it like mad. Now I’ll need to make a special trip to Lupie’s next time I’m in town to visit my parents. Home sick. 🙂
Amy/Thrifty Treasure Hunter says
oh I call that Contrast drink, Funky Punch…every time I have to go to the Radiology dept I see other people drinking it & it gives me the heebie jeebies all over again…. I”m with you chug that nasty crap down & get it over with.
Hopefully the pain your feeling will turn out to be extremely firm poo as a result of the different chemo’s… not that a poo that big/firm is something to wish for but better than another tumor. Praying & still fasting for you… eat a donut for me 🙂
OH, I hopefully you read this post…have you heard of SHAKEOLOGY? I know your juicing to for healthy vitamins & because it’s easier for your body to absorb/digest. The list of MEGA Anti-oxidants in Shakeology is at least 50-70 lines long. The chocolate is yummy, the Green-berry tastes good mixing w/juice and I haven’t tried the new Tropical yet. The down side of it for you, it curbs your appetite and I know you’re trying to gain weight.
I just wanted to say I really enjoy your posts. I really did lol after reading first about Lisa and the poop and then about your mad drinking skills!
I had major pelvis pain while pregnant with my second, it’s miserable. I know what you mean by anything colon or bladder related. My Grandpa died of colon cancer over 10 years ago, and I still remember the misery. What is kind of funny about it though, my Grandpa refused to fart at home. My Mom grew up only passing gas in the bathroom alone! It wasn’t until she got married and moved out that her world opened up and she could fart freely!
Seriously though, good luck with the scan.
This post made me laugh. Thank you. I needed that today. 😉
Ashley J says
oh my gosh….you crack me up!
Jane @ See Jane Learn says
We could have been college chug team friends! I have the same “drink fast” mentality when I have to drink that dreadful pre-colonoscopy beverage… I am lifting you in prayer and I directed a dear friend who was just diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer to your blog-she loves it! Thank you for sharing your journey and reminding all of us to choose joy.
Sorry Lisa, but it is so funny.
LOL!! You are SO much fun. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂