Google Searches

Oh how I love looking through my Google analytics. A few random searches that brought people to Lil Blue Boo in the last 30 days (in italics):

 

you make fun of me being on Facebook so much when you must be on as much to notice.
Dang, someone is going to get schooled…..

got a booty implant before and after pics.
I think I’ve Googled that before.

ric flair’s stalker.
You can’t stalk Ric Flair.


on the day of chemo treatment can my husband still have sex.
My doctor’s office has a pamphlet for that.

i don’t want to see accidentally see boobies.
Then stop searching for the word “boobies.”

inflatable dog turds.
Oh my gosh…..I had to Google this. It made my night.

english women having fanny’s shaved.
I refuse to Google this.

i got to record ashley of lil boo blue.
Doing what? It better not include the words fanny and shave.

del taco side of chips.
Chips in a box!

cute hemroid pillow.
There could be a market for that.

i don’t strain when i poop but still got a hemroid.
Why can’t anyone spell hemorrhoid?

 

This is a disturbing trend:

why does it feel like i’m pooping glass
why does it feel like i’m pooping fire
where have you pooped
feel like am sh@#ting my intestine
feel like im pooping but nothing comes out
heart issues and pooping
i am pooping rocks and it hurts
do people feel like pooping when they die
how many pounds is a poo
cramps like you have to poop but can’t
eat poop girl love
poo in bed

Apparently I’ve blogged one too many times about poop…..but I’m seriously worried about all of you! Miralax, people!

Still, nothing will ever top the “girls that poop at work” search.

 

Update: This actually took me a few hours to do. I think I skipped over some really good ones…..but it’s impossible to go through 14,987 Google searches with a fine tooth comb.

Comments

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Comments

  1. 1

    Yes indeed, you are the go to person when it comes to poop:)

  2. 2

    hahahaha I’m so going to google half of these now!

  3. 3
    Kristen P says:

    So funny! Please share these more often – lol!

    (The “eat poop girl love” one is very strange. At least most of the others make some kind of sense!)

  4. 4

    Of course is 1:30 am on the east coast and I have food poisoning and I’m looking up lil blue boo and it’s about poop!!! Lol, for u, not me ;(

  5. 5

    OH my gosh I am in tears reading this because I am laughing so hard! Thank you so much for posting this, made my night.

  6. 6
    lisa jack says:

    I seriously <3 you ashley!!!

  7. 7

    Well, I WAS almost ready for bed but now I have the hiccups from laughing!!

  8. 8

    I haven’t laughed so hard in so long. Love you lady.

  9. 9

    Really lol’ed. So loudly my husband came to check on me!

  10. 10
    Kristina says:

    And now you’re certain to get more google searches about bodily functions leading to your blog after this post! :)

  11. 11

    You must be pooped after all that ;)

  12. 12

    Yeah, now I HAVE to Google at least two of those questions just to see how people responded. OUCH, glass… That sounds more painful than giving birth. I think im going to start taking Colace every day, just to ensure I never have the glass or fire feeling. After I had my baby, I had major anxiety about my first #2 experience… And in case you are wondering (which I am sure you are NOT but I have already decided to tell you anyway), it was as bad as I thought. If someone checks my computer after I die, they will probably be disturbed at my Google searches. I have to say that I have probably learned more from Google than I did in all of my years of school.

  13. 13

    lol :D Ok… the Inflatable Dog Turds got me Laughing so Hard the hubby had to see what I was looking at! lol Thanks for all the Laughs Ash. – who knew so many people googled about “poop!” :P

  14. 14

    PoopReport.com. You’re welcome.

  15. 15

    I was sleeping very soundly while You were playing on Google…however, I have certainly enjoyed this post…Google tends to scare me at times, I typed in Snow White one day and was sent to several Porn Sites *yikes*, the kids are now very closely monitored when using the PC and Google…tks for the smiles
    Robin <3

  16. 16

    Oh gosh…. that was hysterical! I was laughing out loud and my 3 year old asked… “What! What’s so funny!” LOL

  17. 17

    I’m totally cracking up right now!! I was once found by the search “16 and pregnant cheer leading outfit big pregnant belly”. What the what??? :) I have neither been 16 and pregnant or in a cheer leading outfit. I have had a big pregnant belly but those picture will never see the light of day. HA!

    I do have to tell you that I randomly found you when Kelly Raspberry on the Kidd Kradick in the morning show posted on FB about you! How exciting to have a nationally syndicated radio show talking about you! Ok, so maybe not that exciting but at least it’s better than all the people discovering you with their poo problems :).

    Hope y’all have a great weekend! xoxox

  18. 18

    Bahahaha! I need to check into this google analytics. Sounds rather entertaining.

  19. 19

    Ha Ha, love it!
    ~Jamie

  20. 20
    Stephanie huckeba says:

    Lol ive googled “zombie gnomes”. It brought me to some on etsy. Hilarious. . . :)

  21. 21

    This cracks me up! I did a post once about how I sewed elastic onto the back of my girls’ flip flops to help keep them on their feet. Now I get Google searches for “girls’ feet”. Trust me it isn’t good! Ew creepers!!!!

  22. 22

    When you mentioned Ric Flair, my first thought was, ‘who’s Ric Flair? The only RF I know of is the wrestler, and no one else even knows who he is!’. At my house there was no NASCAR and definitely no golf, but there was, ALWAYS wrestling! ~Ann

  23. 23

    aaaahahahahaha i actually loled!!! this ia amazing!!

  24. 24
    Chris Baker Cox says:

    Thank you!! This gave me a hearty chuckle!! LOL! :) Happy weekend everyone!

  25. 25

    that’s a lotta poop!

  26. 26

    I’m crying with laughter over here! BAHAHAHAHA!

  27. 27

    Oh my gosh! That’s entertainment!

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