Oh my…..where did the day go?! It was a day of visiting so I was barely online for even a second today! My friend Shari was in town for Palm Springs’ first International Art Fair. She stopped by to hang out in the LBB studio for a while before she had to catch her her flight.  Boo and I met my mother-in-law Gale and my sister-in-law Christy for lunch and then Christy came back to hang out for the day. She flies back to the east coast tomorrow morning. We put her to work…..she stuffed bags of Choose Joy bracelets for us. We even had window washers today and Mr. LBB and his crew stopped by and Boo was home from school of course. This place is always buzzing and buzzing with activity and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Boo and I worked on her play room for a bit…..I’ll share that soon. This evening we went to my in-laws for dinner because Mr. LBB’s grandmother and 2 aunts are in town visiting. 10 adults and 4 kids running around. Phew. I think I just fell into bed!

The only photo I have from today is of Boo…..wearing one of my head scarves this morning. So cute. Her cute sweatshirt is a sample from last year’s Spring line…..made by Evy’s Tree exclusively for Lil Blue Boo.  Amy of Evy’s Tree said they are making a few additional ones with some fabric they found….make sure to read about the Choose Joy auction she is working on for February 27-29th.  She and so many others have been working so hard on it….and I couldn’t be more grateful and humbled and appreciative of this gesture.

 

 

Off to bed…..we have more visitors tomorrow.  I’m fitting in everything I can during the next few days because Thursday is my icky Cisplatinium full day of chemo and that means I’ll be out of commission for a few days after that.

XOXO,

Ashley

Not really…but it’s a good post title. Dr. Y has referred me to a gastro-something doctor. I can’t even spell it. Remember the h-word post? The one where I talk about my fear of dying on the toilet? I think it’s a little more serious than that…..not more serious than dying but more serious than the h-word. Omg….I’m scared to poop!  I think the problem dates back to the October pooping nightmare when Dr. R threatened to hospitalize me. I’ll try to type out of a transcript of what is sure to be a really fun doctor visit discussing my insides this week…….not.

P.S. How does one decide to become a “bum” doctor over all the other options out there? Don’t get me wrong….I’m SO glad someone DID choose the profession……but it definitely wouldn’t have been my top pick.

Today was such a special day! I’ll never forget it. My wonderful mother-in-law Gale and sister-in-law Jen threw me a special gathering: a “choose joy” lunch. They invited some of my closest friends and family to celebrate a day of love, friendship, encouragement, laughter…..and of course joy.

 

 

I was blown away by the thought and detail that went into everything:

 

 

The table was amazing:

 

My sister-in-law Jen is amazing at party details (remember Thanksgiving?…..or my niece’s cupcake birthday party)….I tell her she needs to start a business doing it….but she just likes to do it for friends and family:

 

 

The weather was beautiful and eating outdoors at Augusta Restaurant (in Palm Desert) was perfect with a guitar playing and a french speaking waiter!

 

I was so excited to see everyone! Seriously….I could barely sleep last night!

 

Some of my closest friends were there…..and our waiter commented on how he could tell it was such a nice group of women:

 

 

It was a table of laughter and new friendships too…….some of my friends were meeting each other for the first time:

 

Here’s the table-decorator-extraordinaire herself….Jen:

 

 

Jen and Gale asked everyone to bring gifts of comfort…..so I joked that it was my “cancer shower” haha. Gale said “let’s call it a comfort shower“…..that sounds nicer

 

Gale, Me, and Jen:

 

 

My sister-in-law Christy surprised me and flew in from Georgia!

 

Gale making a toast…..

 

…..and then making me teary:

 

 

Gale surprised everyone at the luncheon with a Choose Joy necklace from Vintage Pearl:

 

Everyone was so excited that it disrupted the entire restaurant…..we all laughed really hard over that:

 

Starting to open up gifts I got really overwhelmed and emotional that so much love and support was there:

 

 

Every gift was so thoughtful and perfect. I was overwhelmed!  There were magazines, pjs, scarves, comfy blankets, healing teas, essential oils, comfy clothes, books, snacks, devotionals, journals, sharpies….even a cooler full of gourmet homemade frozen soups!

 

My step-aunt Nancy came down for the day which was wonderful since she is usually with Cole, my step-cousin who is healing from a traumatic car wreck. She even stopped to bring me some fresh donuts!

 

Mr. LBB and Boo made a quick appearance to say hi:

 

Lisa took all the wonderful photos. Thank you Lisa!

 

My friend Jenn made all the bows into a bouquet….and I threatened to throw it and everyone yelled NO!!!! I guess no one else wants cancer…..we all got a good laugh about that.  I think I’ll save it and burn it once this is all over with:

 

I’m am truly blessed to be surrounded by such love. It was just a small luncheon…..there are so many others, including all of you out there, that have been so supportive and encouraging. I’ve never once felt alone in this journey. So thank you for that. And to Gale and Jen……thank you from the bottom of my heart for my “shower”……it was truly a day of joy and fun!  I love you so much!!!

 

 

 

……the frontier every knew. I had the most wonderful day surrounded by some of my closest friends and family which I’ll share later in another post……my friends Vicki and Larry gave me this new hat which I’ve been wearing all afternoon. Boo says it looks like I have hair again with the ponytail.

P.S. It’s faux fur……before I get any comments about the killing of a raccoon for fashion.

 

Well, even though I had over 8 hours of chemotherapy dripping away yesterday I woke up feeling really great! My friend Shari of Soren Lorensen Design is in town for the Palm Springs Art Festival and Lisa and I met her bright and early at my favorite breakfast joint Keedy’s:

 

Yesterday was a long day!

 

 

I sat next to the nicest man…..Mr. W. We talked almost the whole time about life, food, travel, what we would do if we won lottery…oh he DID WIN the lottery once…..so cool!  I think I met my match in joyfulness. He has the best spirit. He has been widowed twice due to cancer. His current wife had a radio show as a matchmaker…..man he told some great stories. The most touching story? his first wife put together a book of all his favorite recipes to pass them on. He told me when he left that his day was better having sat next to me…..but I think my day was perfect having sat next to him!

So I got my big bag of neon yellow Methotrexate……the nurses said the back of my bald head was neon yello when I left. My white blood cell count fell from 9,000 to 3,000 this week…..that’s still really high! I have no idea why they stay so high. Seriously. Dr. L is surprised too. Maybe it’s donuts. These drugs like to eat everything in sight in the body….ever see the movie The Blob? That’s what it reminds me of. The great thing is my skin is super clear and I used to get these small cold sores on the side of my mouth when I was run down…..but the chemo has eaten all that up too.

I just felt achy last night and Boo and I watched cartoons until about 8:30 while Mr. LBB worked late. Boo and I played Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock. Never heard of it? Watch the video….it’s awesome:

Anecdotal evidence suggests that in a game of Rock Paper Scissors that players familiar with each other will tie 75-80% of the time due to the limited number outcomes….I suggest Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.

 

 

 

My HCG (tumor marker) number came back and it’s holding steady at 2. At least it didn’t go up right?! The tumors in my pelvis sure are stubborn. I’m still convinced there just isn’t a huge blood supply to them so maybe that’s why they aren’t shrinking like they should. Think zero for next week!

Now I’m resting. I tried to work on my button painting for a bit but just too tired today. Maybe later.  Have a great one!

 

 

I’m gearing up for another 8 hour day at the infusion center tomorrow. The only thing I’m bummed about is that I won’t be able to do my morning walk! I made it a mile to Starbucks this morning…..and made it the mile uphill back! Flo Rida’s Good Feeling is my favorite walking song right now……seriously I become an Olympic-style speed walker and overdo it and have to rest periodically. It’s frustrating…but I know I have to be patient. All I could think was “I want to RUN UP this hill” and then I would envision myself passing out on the road and being found by a stranger.

 

From Jesus Calling today: Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me.

Yeah….bring it…..I walked 2 miles today.…and a few days ago I was an invalid.

So….as I’m dreading sitting for 8 hours and feeling nauseous and bored and plotting escape routes from chemotherapy…..I opened up Jesus Calling again to peek at tomorrow’s reading:

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently for them to be active again. Some of the greatest works in My kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me.

Seriously? Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away. Limitations of a weakened body. Does anyone else’s book say that or just mine? Goosebumps.

Limitations can be liberating. I’ll use tomorrow to work on a book I’ve been writing. That’s kind of liberating.

My friend Jackie told me there’s a Jesus Calling app……awesome.

 

 

I love living in the desert this time of year. It’s about 70 degrees out today….and sunny and green and perfect. I went for a walk first thing and did my 20-minute free daily yoga app. It’s been over 4 months since I did any kind of exercise….I can’t even touch my toes and I get exhausted after a 20 minute walk….but I’m on a mission.

 

I didn’t feel that great all day…..but I never like just laying around so I pulled up a chair to a table and did a few felting projects this morning.  My mind wants me to do all this stuff but my body can’t keep up. I definitely like to test it though. Never in my whole life have I had to make choices about what I need to put on the back burner and what is priority…..I’ve always been the “well, I’ll just do it ALL” kind of person with unlimited energy. And all the sudden that energy isn’t there when I want it because of this whole chemo thing. I can completely understand why people make the decision to stop chemo treatment if there were a question around whether it was working or not.

I have this crazy appetite all the sudden for all things hearty: chicken pot pie, bean soup, mashed potatoes etc. I might just end up gaining weight through chemotherapy! My weight got down to about 135 in November…..but it’s been slowly climbing….I haven’t gotten over 140 though yet. Our family friends brought over some soup the other night made with white beans and kale….and last night I tried to recreate it adding in some ingredients of my own. I’ve already eaten about 6 bowls of it today……I’ll have to try to recreate my own version again so I can share the recipe!

My friend Staci’s mother Elaine who had a stroke a few weeks ago took 80 steps last night. That is HUGE. I’m so proud of her. She’s so determined and positive…..and she and her family have always been an example of how to live life to the fullest for me. They say I’m an inspiration for them….but they’ve always been an inspiration for me. Anytime we’ve ever spent with them was completely focused on enjoying time with friends and family….that there’s never an excuse good enough not to.  I wear Elaine’s pink bracelet ETS (her initials & Exceptional Tough Strong) everyday next to my Choose Joy bracelet:

 

 

Boo woke up early this morning…..excited to wear her new Valentine’s Day dress:

I ran out at the last minute last night to Rite Aid to buy Valentine’s for her class….somehow they just slipped my mind and I thought I still had a few more days! Boo wanted to hand write each and everyone. After 15 Valentine’s were finished we heard “….I’m SO tired…I JUST want to go to bed.” Wow. That never happens. Lisa’s hubby Nick took the girls to the desert zoo yesterday so I think she was overly exhausted. I love this pic….it looks like the giraffe is posing for the camera:

 

If you get a chance, please, please click here and sign this petition asking pharmaceutical companies to ramp up the production of Methotrexate. Methotrexate is that big bag of neon yellow chemotherapy drug I get every other week that keeps my cancer from spreading…….read this blog post over at When Skies Are Gray too about how it affects any child with cancer or leukemia. When I had my surgery in October and we were moving forward immediately with chemo treatments I remember the hospital saying we might have to go to multiple sources to get the chemotherapy drug needed because sometimes it’s not readily available. We were lucky that we had no problems getting the drug up until now…..but I can’t imagine not being able to get the drugs I need……or that any cancer patient needs. Really? A shortage? How does that happen?! You can read more about the shortage here.

 

Feeling stir crazy so Boo and I walked to Starbucks this morning. It’s a little over a mile…..Boo did great with her baby stroller. Mr. LBB’s office is right near Starbucks so we stopped by to say hi. He convinced us to let him drive us home so we wouldn’t overdo it. The walk back is uphill….and I probably would have ended up carrying that baby stroller!

 

It’s a beautiful day in the desert!