Today I sat in the quiet room of the library to try and get some work done. As I sat there another woman came in and sat in front of me.  Whatever she was watching was making her laugh.  She seemed to laugh right when I was just completing a thought. *poof*  I started to get increasingly agitated and annoyed and thought about huffing out or asking her to keep it down.  Each time she laughed I could tell it was one of those uncontrollable ones.  She was trying to keep it quiet but it became worse as she tried to hold it in. I watched from behind as she fanned herself and threw her arms in the air. I just stopped writing and watched. And then I couldn’t stop laughing.

All of the sudden she got up and walked out of the room for a moment. I stared at her computer screen at the table across from me.  I wasn’t trying to snoop but I wanted to know what was so funny. There was an image of the following:

One kind word can change someone’s entire day.

That obviously wasn’t what she was laughing at, but it made me think about what my reaction was going to be.  When she came back in, as she walked past me, I said:

Um…excuse me…ok….I just have to know what was so funny….

She didn’t even pause to think….and gestured with her hand for me to follow her out of the room.  I followed her out of the room. She told me she had given a movie a bad review and she was watching the interviews from it. She’s a movie fanatic. We talked about movies for a while and then parted ways. I sat back down and the writing just came pouring out again.

There are studies that say laughter is really contagious.  Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, right? Well, some of them.

So, I could have huffed out of the room really.  She probably wouldn’t have even have noticed.

I love this definition of laughter:

I got that from Michael Jr.:

Love him.  And I’m even the butt of his joke…I spoke “banjo” as a kid growing up in Clover, S.C.

I think humor is the ultimate saving grace for me. I probably take it overboard at times, cracking jokes and oozing sarcasm at the most inappropriate of moments, then it can become a crutch. But true cheerful, joyful humor has saved me many times over. Sometimes I try to be serious, but I can’t.  And sometimes when I’m being totally serious, people think I’m joking:

Surrogacy Agency: We have a database of pre-screened carriers.
Me: So, you are kind of like Match.com for surrogates.
Surrogacy Agency: Well…um…I guess you could say that.
Me: So do you actually meet all the surrogates in person? Because I’ve heard stories about people going to meet their dates and it’s not even the right gender. Sorry, not stories about you….stories about Match.com. Not that it’s dating. Although, it is kind of like dating if you really think about it.

(total silence)

Surrogacy Agency: I don’t think we’ve ever run into that issue.
Me: Yet…

And so I try to make humor a redeeming quality when I can.

Oh, when I left the woman handed me a post-it note with the movie: August: Osage County.

 

All posts for the Year of Joy can be found here.

14 days down, only 17 to go.

 

 

Love is fairly new to me.  I’m just being honest with you.

I used to think I loved, but I didn’t really truly love.

I thought love meant saying I love you.

I thought love was giving advice and “fixing” people.

I thought love meant being a good person.

I thought love was reserved for people close to me.

I thought love was about being compatible.

I thought love had to be careful.

I thought love had to be controlled and protected.

I thought love was effortless and instant, or it didn’t exist.

That was not love.

That….was a greeting card.

 

Painting by Boo

Some lessons in love:

When I was sick I didn’t want to accept help, but sometimes love is allowing people to help you, navigating around your pride…because of what it can do for others.

When I joined a church I found myself in a slow-moving, conflicted community. I soon wanted out, but sometimes love is adjustment.

When my family members have shown weakness I have been quick to judge, but sometimes love is having empathy.

When a friend turned on me unexpectedly I wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but sometimes love is being silent. Sometimes love is letting go.

I used to have a tendency to treat strangers better than those close to me, but love is as much about planned kindness than random kindness.

Before (and still), when I felt I was right about something I’d fight to the end, but love is compromise, not plowing over everyone in my path.

When I ask someone how they are doing sometimes I wish for a short answer, but love is being willing to share my time and listen.

When someone was having a hard time, I used to avoid them out of fear for the right words, but love is connection. Love is reaching out.

It used to be easier for me to bond with people over gossip, but sometimes love is speaking up…or just not being interested.

Sometimes just the “thought” of donating to a cause would make me feel like a good person, but love is sacrifice.

When my daughter chooses her dad over me I feel hurt, but sometimes love has to be grown and repaired.

I’m still learning, but I do know this…love leads the way:

 

Love is cultivated and grown.

Love is seeing and doing. Love is courage.

Love is connection. Love is sharing. Love is heart to heart.

Love is belonging. Love is encouragement.

Love is compassion. Love is empathy.

Love is character and conviction. Love is speaking up.

Love is knowing when to be silent.

Love is serving, but love is also receiving. Love is humility.

Love is investment. Love is commitment.

Love is compromise. Love is adjustment.

Love is sacrifice.

Love is forgiveness. Love is reconciliation.

Love is honesty. Love is being authentic. Love is living with an open heart.

Love is about having a sense of humor.

Love is risky. Love is messy.

Love is imperfect.

Love is freedom.

What is love to you?

P.S. Random kindness is still love:

All posts for the Year of Joy can be found here.

13 days down, only 18 to go. I love you.